Little Saint Bride [Death and the Maiden, #1]

Chapter Five: The True Meaning of Undergarments

A/N: Art by Yoshitaka Amano. 

'Are you going to walk around like that?'

I glance towards Hadrian as he interrupts my mission. Mercer has finally finished retching, so I'm using the time to empty the Ferryman's remains before he can start again. I'm bending over the boat, wondering whether to capsize it or pick out the remains.

'Like what?' I reply. Capsizing it would be quicker, I decide, stroking my forehead absent-mindedly. If I were to fish out each of the Ferryman's bone fragments, he might find himself in Elysium missing a toe.

'In your underwear...'

I grab the sides of the boat, but not before I send him a is-that-really-all-you-can-think-about look. I'm not sure I portrayed it very well, though- he stares at me like I'm speaking in morse code.

'Hadrian!' I snap, 'Help me!'

He blinks, and then hurries into action, joining me at the dock and squatting to reach the boat. Together we roll it onto its side, and the Ferryman's body starts to move.

'Push harder,' I instruct, but I catch him watching me.

'I don't know where to look, for God's sake!' he cried, punching the boat in confusion. It heaves heavily before rolling over, and I hear the rewarding ploshhh as the Ferryman's body is carried away.

'It's fine, he's gone now,' I say reassuringly, but Hadrian frowns.

'I meant you!'

'Oh, how sweet of you. Unfortunately I am a married woman.'

'No, damn you, you're showing a lot of- of-'

Finished with the boat, I stand and glare down at him, my hands on my hips.

'Listen, macho. I don't care what masculine society you're from, but the only thing sexual about my underwear is your perception of it. Grow the fuck up, and learn that I'm not putting that bloody dress back on so you can feel better about your wandering eyes. Are we clear? Good. Let's go.'

I step off the platform with a toss of my knotted hair, and nearly fall over Mercer, still in a heap on the floor.

'Where are we going?' he sniffs.

'To find my so-called husband, of course. Now I've got to add ignorant bounty hunters onto my list of things I dislike about him and his Underworld.'

Hadrian chuckles behind me, so I give him a snarl.

'Do you find this funny?'

Mercer physically cowers at my feet, and I try hard not to roll my eyes for the hundredth time.

Hadrian's smirk increases. 'Actually, I do. I've just been schooled about underwear, yet you need my help finding the palace.'

'Palace?' Mercer murmurs. 'We're looking for a palace now?'

'Mercer,' I sigh, losing my patience, 'You're supposed to be my guide. Can you at least make it seem like I need your help when I meet my husband? He's the Lord of the Underworld. Where do you think he lives, in a stable?'

'I'm trying to understand! I didn't have the advantage of planning my wedding and death for years!'

The three of us stand at odds from one another, Hadrian looking from me to Mercer and back again. His expression is nonplussed. 'You wanted to be the Bride?'

'Yes,' I say shortly. I don't elaborate- my trust in Hadrian is only skin deep. He might be a handsome rogue that could probably charm the information out of me, but the more he thinks I'm a besotted bride of Death, the better.