𝑩𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒕 |COMPLETED|

Chapter 11

Lumabas ako ng kwarto dahil nauuhaw ako. Inasikaso ko pa ang mga papers para sa PYO. Pababa na sana ako ng hagdan nang makita ko si Ate Sunny paakyat. Nakapantulog narin ito at mukhang galing siya sa kusina dahil may dala itong isang baso ng tubig. Agad na napansin niya rin ako. Halatang nagulat din ito.

" My god! You freak me out! Para kang multo!" Galit na sigaw nito saakin. But I understand her. Kasalanan ko rin naman.

" I'm sorry ate. Uhmm." I don't know what to say.

She didn't say anything at iniwan na ako. I took a deep sighed at pumunta na sa kusina. Pagbalik ko sa kwarto ay hindi agad ako nakatulog so I took my diary and wrote what's lingering in my mind.

I'm holding on...I'm still holding on with the thoughts of you, loving me and appreciating me. I should be happy. There's no wrong with my life. I did things that makes me happy but there's this sadness and loneliness, I don't know where it came from. I can't sleep, my heart is wrecking,  frequently. The pain is slowly drowning me. I feel suffocated. Will you pull me from this deep ocean and makes me feel loved and worth it?

— Heart.

After I wrote the last word. I found myself crying for I don't know reason. I slowly grip my heart because I can't breath. The pain is too much and I don't know where the pain came from. It's... it's just there.

I cried silently. I cried without anyone by my side.

I'm s-cared....and I'm hoping that someone will notice how scared I am right now or mas mabuting 'wag na? There's still part of me na ayaw kong makita nila akong ganito. They might don't understand what I felt.

And I realized, the most difficult battle you've ever fight is within yourself.

I woke up the next day with a heavy chest but I still suppressed that pain and smile like I've never feel so alone. Pagpasok ko sa campus ay saktong nakasabayan ko sila Heart with her friend. They greeted me so I do the same with a smile. I noticed Haylee stared at me, observing me like she's piercing my soul. I smile and look away. I don't want her to see my lonely expression on my eyes. The looks that asking for comforts. To protect me and tell me that everything will be better soon. To assure me that things will turn out fine one day.

" Heart." She called me kaya napaangat ang tingin ko sakanya. Ngayon ko lang napansin na wala na ang kaibigan niya.

" Oh, sorry. Did I space out?" I ask.

She didn't smile while nodding her head. She looks mad for I don't know reason and...I can't help it but to be disappointed with myself dahil nawala ako sa atensyon.

" I'm sorry." I said and gulp to suppress the pain. I smile at her. " I didn't mean to be—"

" Bakit ka naman nagsosory? " I shook my head and didn't say anything. Hindi ko kasi alam ang sasabihin ko sakanya. " Alam mo bang gusto kitang hampasin sa sobrang kabaitan mo. Wala ka namang ginawang masama kaya huwag kang magsorry. Hindi naman ako galit. Ayoko lang na...ayoko lang na malungkot ka."

I bit my lower lip and keep my mouth shut because my voice my might break.

Mabilis na napatingin ako sakanya nang hawakan nito ang kamay ko at hinila palabas ng gate kaya nagtaka ako.

" Hey. The class will start—" but she cut me off.

" Mag-ditch muna tayo ngayon. " My eyes widen.

" What? Why? Ditching class is bad, Haylee. It's in the rules and regulations" I said pero tuluyan na kaming nalalabas sa gate. I didn't used my car dahil nag bus lang ako.