LOVERBOY

06| RETIRED BIG GIRL

Days went by with no Azrael in sight, people seemed to ignore Romani again, her routine the same as always; wake up, school, home. She seemed to be on autopilot, not wanting to feel emotions she knew she wouldn't like.

The only new action added to her routine was swallowing a pill in the mornings.

It was no surprise that Romani was always on some sort of alert state, but with the medication, she was calm, too calm for someone like her. It was like her thoughts would brush off and she barely cared, yet cared deeply at the same time.

Her insomnia began to act up, keeping her awake until the sun began to rise, in a constant state of dissociation. Then in the mornings, with the swallow of a pill, she was focused, always focused.

School had begun to look better, her assignments turned in on time and her pop quiz was done with genuine hard work, something her professor didn't see much out of her anymore. It reflected on her during the week.

The weekend had rolled around, Romani deciding to sleep during the day whilst she hadn't gotten a wink of sleep during the night. Daisy had to work most Saturdays, meaning Romani was home for most of the day, giving her the opportunity to sleep a whole 10 hours without having Daisy worry for her daughters well being.

Sleep seemed to not even rest her up, still exhausted when she awoke at 3pm. The sun was tucked away behind heavy gray clouds that loomed over the town. Fall was in full action during this end of August, the colder weather had already begun a month before, a new developments from global warming and climate change.

Wrapped in the blanket, she rolled onto her side, watching the world outside her window as she sighed heavily, blinking away the sleepiness from her eyes as she realized she had to get up soon.

With a groan she reached to under her pillow, pulling her phone harshly from the charging cable, the brightness low as she used her thumbprint to unlock the phone, mindlessly scrolling over social media, looking through the few comments left on her post of her selfie, some were random people who comments emojis, others were more explicit with their words, Romani simply swiping off.

Getting up seemed like an extra effort that made her exhausted bones crack and pop. With a huff, she stood up on wobbly legs, dragging her body to the bathroom to relieve her shaking bladder.

Once finished and cleaned up, she pulled her waist long hair up in a bun on top of her head, the hairstyle turning out perfect, unlike the mornings where she had to redo it over and over because it was never a cute bun when she tried with effort.

Avoiding the mirror, her eyes were casted down, her feet guided her to her bedroom once more, stopping as she looked down at her clothes; a dark whitish grey pair of baggy sweatpants with a cropped black long sleeve.

Shrugging, she walked back out to the kitchen, beginning to wash the dishes in the sink, which led her to clean the countertop, followed by the floor, and before she knew it, she had cleaned the entire kitchen and the door was being unlocked.

"Ro, hi baby.." Daisy felt hesitance as she spoke timidly, pecking her daughter's forehead as Romani casted her eyes away, crossing her arms as she flashed a fake smile, mumbling a hello as she walked away, going to her room.

Daisy watched as Romani walked away, feeling sadness from the behavior, but felt even more guilt because she was the reason she had tipped over into the funk she was in, all because she had brought him up. She sat at the kitchen table, sad as her eyes stung with burning hot tears, asking and asking why she had said what she said.

Romani couldn't handle being so close to her mother, not now, her feelings still reeling from the incident a week ago. It was on rewind, reminding her of the perspective her mother sees her. So, with a heavy heart and painfully beating heart, she submerged in the pile of blankets again, and blankly stared at the crescent moon.