Come on owy

I get out of the shower and check my phone; 'babe where are you?'. I text him back; 'i was in the shower but im back now.' I know what to expect and ofcourse i am right. Again... 'baby, can you send'. I know what he means but I don't want to. I really don't want to but my hands go to my phone again. I text back; wait i am busy!'. 'Come on Owy!'. My hands are shaking and i open snapchat. I go to the chat with kai. I put my phone on camera mode and make a picture in the mirror. You can't see my dick on it, only my stomach. Kai starts typing... 'Owy ur gaining weight, its less hot'. A tear drops down my face. It isn't the first time he said that. Does he not love me anymore? Questions are screaming in my head. Does he only love me for my body? But then i think; No owen he does love me and i know it very well. He doesn't say it much though. My phone buzzes and i pick it up; 'can you please come over owy' says the text. Its from Kai. I love it when he calls me Owy. I start typing; 'but my mum said i need to stay home today.' I press send. 'If you arent gonna come im gonna kill myself.' He stops typing. 'I'll be there in an hour.' I start crying. My parents arent home so i can sneak out easy. I think about my parents. They aren't home much but they are mostly at work. Every day from 8 o'clock in the morning to 8 o'clock in the evening. They work at a circus and they're pretty cool. I didn't get much attention as a kid though. I was at my grandma's house a lot but she passed away. I miss her alot. For the rest i only have my parents no sibling, brothers, aunts, or uncles. I like being on my own but i like being with kai more. He is a very cool guy even tho he acts weird sometimes. I do a lot of things that he says but I'm probably just a simp. I put on a tank top. I love tank tops. I put on a skirt. But kai would kill me if i wore that to his house. So I just put on my sweatpants and a vest. I don't feel like being called fat again. I  grab my keys and lock the door behind me. I grab my bike and bike those silly 10 minutes to his big white house. While jumping on my bike i put on 1 airpod. Before I even realise I arrive at his house. I put of my music and ring his doorbell. I hear his footsteps and they sound angry. I get very scared. He opens the door. His angry frown gives me a bad feeling. He grabs my shoulder and drags me inside. He says; 'ur late'. He drags me upstairs by my arm. He shows me his arm. I don't know why he did this. Im fighting back tears. His arm is full of deep cuts. Bloody and organized. He smiles as if he is proud of what he did. A Lot of feelings go through my whole body. He covers up his arm again and he grabs my neck. I try to pull his hand off but it doesn't work. 'Baby i know u want it'. The words don't sound right. But he is also kinda hot. But I can't say no. He kisses me. Pins me up against the wall. I try pushing him of me but his hands go down. 'Owy, my parents aren't home. His hand reaches in my pants. 'Kai, please don't. Now I don't feel comfortable. Ur door is open!'. He smiles and touches my dick. 'Come on Owy don't be mean'. I finally manage to push him off. He looks at me. His face is full of disgust. He hits me with his hand. His face gets red. 'Do u not love me?!' He hits me again. I close my pants. He starts screaming at me: 'your supposed to be loyal to me! Ur mine!'. 'But babe, I'm just not in the mood.' Slowly i slip onto the floor. I ball up. And i make myself as small as i can be. He kicks me. Them he goes to his bed and sits down. I look at his room. It has white walls And a black bed a mirror and a chair. One window and some clothes on his chair. It's a bit boring. My back hurts on the spot that he kicked me. I feel my face swelling a bit. He says; 'Babe i feel very sad'. With this baby face that I can't resist. How could i say no to him. I wipe the tears off my face. He grabs a knife and puts his sleeve up. He starts cutting himself. I can't stop the tears from falling from my face. His face looks like he is doing homework. Like there is no emotion. Desperately I say; 'Kai please stop'. He puts the knife away. I grab a wipe from his desk and i walk to him. I wipe his arm. He grabs bandages and hands them over to me so i can put them on this arm. I give his arm a little kiss. Then i sit down next to him on his bed. I put my arm around him and stroke his hair. 'It's gonna be okay sweetheart'. My voice is calm and deep. I look to the mirror. My face is red and there is a small blue spot on my cheek. I give him a kiss on his forehead. It isnt his fault, he just has anger issues. Kai starts breathing slower. His heartbeat also slows down. The bandages on his arm slowly turn red. He closes his eyes and falls asleep. Kai's mum is the boss of a bank. She isn't home alot. Kai's dad left when he was only four months old. Kai doesn't have any brothers or sisters that he knows off, but you can never know with his dad. I put his head down on his pillow. But he wakes up. He says; 'what ru doing?'. 'I thought I would get some food'. He laughs at me and says; 'do u think you aren't already fat enough?'. It feels like a knife right into my stomach and a little mhm comes out of my mouth. 'Just go home. I'm tired i dont wanna see your face right now'. Tears come to my eyes. I don't know why he is acting like this again. Does he even love me anymore. My mouth opens and I ask; 'can't we just cuddle for a bit?'. He looks at me as if he thought of something. 'Owy, i think you can help me.' He grabs a knife from his set and says 'sit down'. I sit down on his bed again. ' I want to hurt someone. Can i do it to you?'. I look shocked. He has a psychotic smile on his face. Then I think, it's better than doing it to myself. So I nod and put my sleeve up. He starts cutting deep into my skin. He presses hard and it hurts. Blood slowly dripping from my arm to my pants. A red stain forms on my pants. Tears appear in my eyes. Kai looks at me. He says; ' I wish you would stay here forever.' It hurts alot. Kai says; 'Okay i'm all finished up.' He stops cutting me and puts away the knife. I say; 'I am gonna head home now'. He nods and walks behind me as i leave his room. We walk down the stairs and he opens the front door for me. I unlock my bike and i bike away. I don't care about music or anything. I am trying to process what he did to me. My arm burns. My back hurts from the kick. And my heartbeat is in my cheek. I look at my watch at almost five O'clock.

I get home at five O'clock. I forgot to lock my own front door but nothing happened. I am very relieved. I lock the door behind me and i go to the kitchen. I start grabbing the stuff to make some lasagna. I put on the radio and push the play button on my melani martina cd. I read the package and mix the lasagna stuff. But right when i want to put the lasagna in the oven. I remember his words. Cutting through my entire body. I throw the lasagna away and make it look like I ate it. I brush my teeth and I go to bed. I fall asleep at 8 O'clock. Just in time to hear my parents come home. But not to talk to them.

Sunlight shines into my eyes and i wake up. I don't know what it is but I'm disappointed that I woke up. As if someone else controls me who doesn't like me. I grab my phone. I saw one message "Gm<3"  from kai. Awww he thought about me. I text him back "Gm<33" . I look at the time its nine O'clock. I get out of my bed and change into my knitted sweater and pantalon. My phone starts buzzing and i see kai's name pop up. A flow of happiness goes through my body. I pick up the phone. I hear his voice. He says; "I know you're home alone, can you come over?". I say; "sure, I'll be right over." He hangs up the phone. I realise I don't wanna go there. I love him but im scared. I see my mum's ADHD medicine. And before I knew it I grabbed a glass of water, and I swallowed one pill, and another. Until the whole strip was gone. I take another strip and take them all. I grab my bike and go to kai's house. My head feels all weird and my sight is wobbly. My stomach hurts and I realise what I did. I arrived at his house. He opens the door for me and he grabs my face to kiss me. We kiss. His hands go to my neck and he holds on tight while he kicks the door to close it. He pins me up the door and we start a full on make out session. His hands go to my hips. He stops kissing me. I feel light in my head. I hug kai and my legs stop working. Kai holds me up. He starts screaming at me; "Owen! Owen, what did you do!?". I smile and I say; "pills". He drags me to the toilet and he sticks his finger so far in my troth. I throw up. I can taste the pills. "Kai, please don't". He makes me throw up again. Everything goes black. I can feel my head hit the toilet seat