ACHING BLUE (emo love story)

1

(Song for this chapter: "Ring of Chain" - Citizen)

I'm kicking at mulch underneath my all-black Converses when a sudden noise not too far away startles me. Twisting around in my swing at the park, I see three teens dressed in all black heading my way and my heart rate speeds up. I, too, am dressed in all black and am sitting alone in this seemingly abandoned park just down the street from my father's house. Maybe I'll finally have some friends here in this new town. I think, and try a small wave at the approaching figures.

One of them, a short, heavyset girl with bangs swooping across her forehead, waves back. I can see now that the group is closer that she's wearing an oversized Pierce The Veil shirt, leggings, and slip-on checker print Vans. I smile as they stop walking in front of my swing. "Hi," I begin. "I'm Kyra. I'm new here. Eighth grade."

The girl that waved at me smiles back and introduces herself as Nessy, "like the Loch Ness Monster," then motions to her friends. On her right is Lane, a tall, stocky sort of girl with a purple pixie cut, wearing ripped black skinny jeans and a BMTH shirt. On her left is Grace, a ginger with hair down to her hips, dressed in a La Dispute beanie, solid black Vans, ripped mom jeans with fishnets peeking through the tears, and a Brand New t-shirt with a flannel thrown over it. They're all in eighth grade, too, just at a different school. I suddenly wish I could transfer schools from North Edenboro to West Edenboro, where they all go. I'm the only kid like them, like us, in my school.

"Grace has a twin but she's not here," Nessy explains and I nod, raptly listening.

"Her name is Gloria." Grace speaks up, the second out of the trio to say anything to me. Lane keeps eyeing me like they're trying to decide if they like me or not. "She's at home. She's grounded because she failed a math quiz."

"So... what brings you guys to the park?" I ask, picking at a hangnail on my left pinkie finger.

"Oh! We were just going to smoke this blunt. Wanna join?" Asks Lane, looking me in the eyes, sizing me up. It's the first thing they've said to me. I smile and tell them yes.

I follow them to a little pond that's far beyond the park and down a hill and we all sit on the lush green grass that's slowly turning black as the night falls all around us. Nessy produces a white lighter from her pocket and I tell her that's bad luck, to which she laughs and just lights the joint. She takes a long drag and passes it to Grace, who takes a short one and passes it to me. I hold it between my thumb and index finger, inspecting it for a moment. I've never done drugs before and I don't know if now's the time to start, but I want them to like me and so I take a small hit from it before passing it to Lane. I must not inhale correctly because suddenly I'm coughing up a lung and everyone's laughing at me and I have tears in my eyes from the coughing fit and maybe a little from embarrassment and all I want is to be home in my bedroom, staring up at the Oli Sykes poster on my ceiling.

"You didn't inhale right," says Nessy, gently. She has the blunt again and is staring at me. "Breathe it into your lungs, like this," she says and demonstrates by taking a hit and opening her mouth just slightly to inhale again before exhaling the smoke. She doesn't cough. She reaches across Grace to pass it back to me and I try again. I get it right this time and everyone looks relieved.

I start to have this floaty sort of feeling and suddenly everything they're talking about is nonsense and very funny. They're discussing the bullies at their school and how they wish they could get back at them, even if only for a moment. Grace starts crying about how one of them kicked her in the ribs the other day and pulls up her shirt to show us the bruises and I am not laughing anymore. There is nothing funny about this.

"Is... is the school you guys go to in a bad area or something?" I ask tentatively. I don't get beat up at my school, at least not yet, only called names and have mean notes taped to my locker or thrown at my head when the teacher isn't looking.

"Yeah, it's not in the greatest area," Lane responds, glancing at me before looking back at Grace. They wipe her tears from her face and pull her in for a hug.

"Oh... I was going to see about transferring," I start, looking at my shoes. The sun has nearly set now and we can barely see each other. Nessy pulls out her phone and puts the flashlight on and sets it in the middle of our little half-circle for visibility. "But is your school really that bad? I don't wanna join if I'm gonna get beat up every day." I practically whine and want to hit myself. Instead, I rest my elbow on my thigh where a fresh cut lays beneath my jeans, giving me the pain I need to feel.

"It's not so bad," Grace says, sniffling. "These two girls in my sixth period just have it out for me and jumped me after school the other day when I was walking home. None of us normally get beaten up. Just shoved against lockers or stuff thrown at us, called names... you know, the usual."

"Then I'll ask my dad about transferring," I say, and Grace smiles. Nessy, too. Lane looks like they want to but they also look lost in space and time. I wave my hand in front of their face and they snap out of it.

"Wake up, beautiful daydreamer!" Nessy shouts, and we all laugh.

"I'm awake, just stoned as shit," Lane mumbles, groaning. They lay back on the cool grass and stare up at the sky. I chuckle and Nessy smirks. Grace is looking at her phone, a stressed expression on her face.

"Shit guys," she says in a panicked voice, "I've gotta get home!" And she jumps up, Vans kicking up grass and dirt with the force of her actions.

"It's not even late!" Nessy exclaims, looking at her phone. I pull mine out. 8:39 PM.

"I know, but Gloria just got in a big fight with Dad! I've gotta go check on her!" Grace says worriedly.

"Let us walk you to the front of the trailer park," says Lane calmly, and Grace nods a yes even though she's blushing. I don't see anything wrong with living in a trailer, but I don't say anything. I just pocket my phone and stand up, a little woozy. The high is starting to wear off. I'm wondering how long it'll last. I'm hoping I won't be like this forever.

And so we head towards the park again, walking across the playground and I touch my swing's chain as we pass it, grateful for my new friends.

We make it to Grace's trailer park in fifteen minutes. Everyone, including me, gives her a hug goodbye and watches her descend down into the neighborhood dotted with a trailer here or there until we see her open a screen door and disappear inside a run-down one.

"Where to now?" I ask, smiling from ear to ear.