"You are promised kiss of spring time, that makes the lonely winter seems long. You are the breathless hush of evening, that trembles on the brink of a lovely song. You are the angel glow that lights a star, the dearest things I know are what you ar...
The story is told from Gojo's pov from the letters he wrote for y/n It takes place in 1919
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Love. What is love? The bible has many and different definitions of love. The first one is "love is sacrificing", which is partly true. You are ready to give everything you have in you to your partner and continue to give until you die, or until you have nothing left to offer.
The second one is "love implies action", which is absolutely true. If you never move, you can never reach the goal, am I right?
The third is "love demands obedience", which is completely not true. Love doesn't necessarily requires obedience. You have the option to agree and disagree with your partner. That is what I call healthy communication.
Basically the Bible says, that you have to follow certain rules in love in order for you to have a healthy relationship with your partner and with God himself, but I have a different point of view and understandings, when it comes to the greatest feeling of all times.
Love is a passionate connection between two souls, that never meet by accident. Love is that great feeling, that has the power to change one's life in order to make him happier, or miserable at the end. Love is a great way to cross paths with a complete stranger and make you give your all to them.
My understanding of love changed hundred times through my short life filled with many different women and many different personalities, that I had to deal with. When I was young and more reckless I used to think that love is forced habit in people.
I thought, that it all comes from the mind. That people are so used to the fact, that they have to fall in love in order to be happy and that's why it's so important for them to have someone by their side.
Then, when I turned 20 I started thinking that love can be an optional thing. You can pick, if you can fall in love, or not. And some people choose to be in love, because they are afraid to be alone and they have weak characters.
And then one day...I finally realised how wrong I was all these years and how great it is to fall in love with a woman, that can in fact change you and your life forever.
Living the royal life I've always been surrounded by fake people. People, that pretend to love each other and living the perfect life, but behind the walls of the castle there was only pain, suffering and agony.
My father was the first one in my life, who showed me how fake love can be. He married my mother, because she was a royal too and it was important to bring the two kingdoms together. He never loved my mother and he made sure to show it to her.
My father was a part of numerous affairs with multiple women. It was a new lady every night at the palace and I had to meet them all. He wasn't slick about it, he didn't hide it from me, he had no shame. My clear memory from that time is my mother crying every night in a room next to the one my father was bringing all those strange women.
My mother, young woman with one child in her hand trapped in a royal wedding, couldn't do anything, but cry. I was holding her hand and I begged her not to cry. All she did is smile at me and said: 'I'm doing it for you'.
One time, when I began growing, I finally had the courage to ask my father why does he hurt my mother like that.
"Satoru, you're too young to understand what does it mean to be a man", I remember him sitting in his throne looking down on me, "a man has endless desires, that can never be satisfied by one woman. Especially by a woman you don't love", he explained to me.
First I didn't understand, but growing I started having the same desires as my father. And all tho I sweared in my life, that I would never be like him..turns out I wasn't that different.
My first girlfriend I met, when I was only 15 at the time. She was a lovely lady, she was the most classy girl you can meet. I was excited to shower her with love. And I did. But I never received anything in return.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that kindness should be repaid and it doesn't have a price, but when you're in a relationship you are suppose to give and receive. This is how you create the bond between two souls.
After my first relationship I tried one more, and then another one, and another one, but they never worked. Then after giving so much love and affection I felt numb inside. My goal of having a good relationship with a woman was replaced by pure physical activity. After we are done-she leaves and I move on.
I'm 28 years old now, a prince of a whole ass kingdom and I still live the same life style. I am a royalty, it's a well known fact, that I have a lot of money and power. Women love power and they especially love money. She doesn't care about me, she only wants to be with a prince. Even tho, if it means to be used for her body.
The sad part is, that I don't really care about body type, I don't have preferences. If it has a vagina and it's not the size of a whale-I'm fucking her. She might be a maid, she might be a noble, she might be older than me-it doesn't matter to me. I'm not marrying these girls.
I sound like a horrible person, but it is what it is. Women in my eyes were an object. That's what I saw from all those women, that my father played with and the same from the girls I played with. I had a conversation with my mother about this a couple of times. I guess she tried to get some sense in me.
"Satoru, women are a divine beauty. You can't treat them like they are just a body. If you don't know how to respect the body of a woman, you can never be a man", she explained to me.
"What do you mean by respecting her body, I don't understand?".
"A woman's body goes through so much and it changes so much. We go through periods, we go through pain every month and then we bring children into this world. You need to respect a woman's body, Satoru".
"Why would I care about a child, or a period, when I don't have it? Maybe I will, if one day I decide to get married, but till then imma live my youth like I want to".
"Listen to yourself, Satoru! YOU CAME INTO THIS WORLD THANKS TO A WOMAN and you don't want to give a simple respect to that? How are you going to get married, when you can give credit to all the women out there. Look at yourself...becoming the man you once hated with your whole passion. I'm disappointed".
After that day my mom never spoke to me. At that time her and my father were already separated. She refused to see me, she never responded to any of my letters and we didn't saw each other, except if we were forced to.
Back then I was so stupid to talk such things and think that way. If I knew, that a woman will walk in my life and flip it upside down, I would never speak against them. I was fighting my inner demon. I never saw better.
Forgive me, mother, for never listening to you the proper way. Forgive me for becoming the man, that ruined your life. I'll forever hate myself for allowing this to happen. You have the right to be disappointed, mom.
I'm sharing this not because I want sympathy from you, my dearest. I'm sharing this, because I want you to know what kind of man I was before I met you. I want you to know, that I never valued another woman. Not even my own mother. And soon..imma tell our story.
