Breathless Behaviour

9

Alexandra

I'm a yawning mess as I make my way down the stairs, trying not to rub my eyes but blink away the sleep, having stayed up well past midnight talking to a boy- I spent hours up, instead of sleeping, sitting outside, in the dead of the night, in a place I barely knew, with the wind blowing softly talking to Elliot as if it was the most natural thing to do after a long day.

After coming back from town with Heath, I didn't even bother to wait and see if I was supposed to do anything else before I left with all my bags, ignoring him as I had ignored him in the car. Pretending he didn't exist with each step, leaving him behind and his words that hurt, true or not.

They dug deep, those insults, his tone, the way he looked at me, everything, him and his cognac coloured eyes.

I shouldn't care, I hadn't cared before what people thought of me, so why now? What was the difference between his insults and others? In the end they were the same, insults.

I was used to them, to being called stupid, an airhead, ignorant, a bitch, every single foul word and slur so what did it matter- why did it bother me that he did the same? That he thought the same as many? I knew who I was, I knew what I did, I wasn't perfect but I wasn't completely flawed. I may not be doing things to his standard but I wasn't one of his workers or buddies from the military, I wasn't from the military.

I wasn't used to tight schedules and being toof what to do on a daily basis.

Back home, I woke up when I wanted to, not late but not early either. I went to school only because it was the one thing my father told me to do, because I didn't even know what to do. I did what I wanted all day, during school season I took my brothers to school when I could, I went to those boring business classes my father forced me into, I spent a few hours with my friends, went home to eat with my brothers, helped them with their work, tucked them in- there was a nanny but I didn't like the idea of her spending too much time with us. During the weekends, I went shopping with my brothers, I took them with me if I could, I had no other thing to do, no responsibility so this was... a change.

From having a time to wake up to working. A big change and I was trying but he didn't see that- he didn't know me and I doubted he ever would. Not when it was clear as broad daylight what he thought of me, clear he wanted nothing to do with me, be near me, talk to me or even breathe the same air as me.

Heath Alrick didn't like me, fine, I didn't like him either.

Having calmed myself in the room with Aldo, I waited until I saw him leave- the main bedroom, where I slept, was rooted in the corner of the house, with large floor to ceiling glass windows, overlooking the backyard, so I saw his distinct figure disappear behind the trees- before I made my way out, Aldo at my heels, having things to do. Finding Camilla and asking her about where I could do my laundry, Elliots grandmother being kind enough to show me to both laundry rooms, one past the kitchen and the other near the mud room, closer to where I slept.

I stayed there for almost two hours, Aldo at my side as I waited- this military dog that looked intimidating liked me unlike his owner, sitting close to me whenever he could- eating pretzels and trying to get a single bar of signal. Folding all my clothes before I walked back to my room- what used to be his room, a room where someone cheated in- cleaning, putting away what I bought, offering to help Camilla when I finished, roaming around with Aldo when she said she didn't need help.

Not letting him or his hurtful words put me in an awful mood for the rest of the day, he ruined half of it, why give him pleasure is ruining all of it? He'd probably liked that, seeing me miserable, a sadist, enjoying all of it, making me work and waking me up so early.