On Thin Ice (editing again)

Chapter 9- Yeah, I Don't Think I Can Forget About It

The first practice was rough for Blaze but she was learning quickly. Despite the conversation they had at the party, Razor was still trying to talk to her. He was coaching her more than starting casual conversation, but he was still trying to make Blaze talk about herself.

Even though she didn't say she didn't want him to talk to her, she thought she made herself clear at the party what she wanted from Razor. She didn't have anything else to say to him, and he was just trying to move on from that. It wasn't working, and she wasn't sure if she should let him say something about it or if they should both just forget about it and try to move forward.

Blaze wanted to get in her car right after practice, but she knew she just couldn't. During practice, she made her decision on what she should do to handle the situation between them. She walked outside into the parking lot, spotted his Jeep and leaned up against it, waiting for him. There was more that needed to be said between them, and Blaze took the opportunity to air it all out for him. When he approached her, it was as if he already knew exactly what she was going to say. She didn't have to say a word before he started off their conversation, picking up right where they seemed to have left off at the party the other night.

"I'm sorry, Blaze, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to respond from what you said at the party, and I tried to change the topic, but neither worked. I don't know what you want from me." He admitted, telling her that he was just confused. At first she didn't want to have any part in his relationship with Allie, then she seemed hurt when he was spending time with his actual girlfriend. Blaze tried to clear the air.

"I came here to talk to you about that exactly. I guess what I want to hear I'm not going to hear, so I'll just have to move on. I'm sorry." Blaze confessed, immediately knowing she said too much.

"What do you want to hear, Blaze?" He asked softly.

"I wanted you to tell me that the team wants me, that there's nothing wrong with me, that there isn't any good reason why I still don't fit in, even after changing and trying new things. I wanted you to tell me I was just as likeable as Allie. I wanted you, and the team, I wanted the whole goddamn world to accept me, Razor. But you didn't have an answer for me then, and I don't think you have one now. Let me know if I should just stop coming to practice if you all just secretly hate me. For once, I don't want you to hold back. Just tell me everything, Razor." Blaze pleaded, bearing her heart for him. She was still bothered by the party and knew it wasn't a good idea for her to go in the first place, because now she was caught up in yet another mess.

Razor opened the door to his Jeep, but he then stopped. Blaze was about to walk away,  but he grabbed her wrist, turning her around. For a moment, Blaze thought Razor was going to say something, but he just stood there and looked at her. She knew he had something to say that he just wasn't telling her.

For a second more, they stood close to each other. His hot breath was gently hitting her face and she threw the thought away that she had hated him. Now, in that innocent moment, she just wanted to kiss him. This wasn't the time nor the place to even think about it, considering why she was there talking to him. It just wasn't happening.

"Blaze, you were the one that told me that this was never going to happen. You said that you weren't going to get in the middle of me and Allie, and you were the one that told me that romance just wasn't going to happen. You were the one that told me that I was in love with a concept and not in love with you, and that I was trying to compensate for what Allie wasn't giving me. You made it strictly hockey, you told me that we just had to live with each other. Did you change your mind? What do you want from me, honestly?"

"I don't want you to think that I'm too much to handle. I spent too much time trying to not be cold and closed off, and I'm not going back on that now."