On Thin Ice (editing again)

Chapter 15- Deny It All You Want, You Still Annoy Me

"I miss you like the summer

Right now I think I need you here
But I don't really need you

I'll get through the winter without you." 

Real Friends- Summer 

Blaze pulled her long hair back and tied it using the hair tie that perpetually rested on her wrist. The day was rainy, so their class didn't go outside for gym and had the option to play a game of basketball or go into the weight room instead. Blaze chose to go into the weight room, not to lift weights but to do a little boxing. She wrapped some prewrap on her wrists before layering a little tape as a precaution not to hurt herself before she approached the suspended punching bag.

"That's bad luck, you know." Razor came up to her and said with a smirk.

"Well, it's not like I'm fighting in an MMA fight or something. I think I'll be fine." Blaze responded, knowing the superstition about wrapping your own hands..

"Alright, when you break a finger, I'll be the first to tell you "I told you so"." He said as he turned to walk away.

"I know how to box." She called out to him. "I think I know what I'm doing."

"I never said you didn't." He said, raising an eyebrow, still wearing that shit-eating grin that perpetually was plastered on his face. Blaze rolled her eyes. 

"Alright then, it's settled." She stated, hoping he would leave her alone for a few minutes to go at the punching bag. He did, and started lifting with some of the other boys.  Blaze was grateful for the time alone, until she was interrupted again. He was getting on her nerves. 

"What do you want?" She asked, really not wanting to hear him criticize her or just annoy her in general. She wasn't in the mood, and he caught her at a bad time; she was taped up already so she could easily throw a punch to his face. She wasn't going to because she didn't have a bad mark on her school record, but still, the possibility existed if he got too close. 

"Okay, listen to me for like, 3 seconds. Please?" He asked quickly, eager to get whatever he was about to say out.

"Fine." Blaze said, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to her hip.

"You obviously know how to do some boxing, but whoever taught you didn't do it so right. First of all, your thumbs are across your fingers. You'll break it that way. Don't tuck them in your palms either. You'll break them that way, too. Keep your thumb on the side of your hand when you make a fist, keep it out of the direct contact zone. Second, hit with your first and second knuckles, your ring and pinky finger are easy to break, too, if you hit them right."

"Okay," She said to him, and he continued. She didn't want to admit that he was right. Even though she wasn't sure if what he was saying was true or not, the finger breaking thing did make sense to her.

"Third, your stance is a little off. Here, like this." He said, taking a stance and squaring up. She followed his lead.

"Now, don't go for the cheekbones. That's your knuckles on their face. Bone on bone hurts, and my cheekbones are too nice to get broken if you were to punch me in the face. Besides that, if I were to throw a punch at you, you'd block it of course. You have to recover the fastest, though. Then, you strike when I'm rebounding from your block. Like this." He demonstrated slowly.

"Got it." I confirmed.

"Last thing, your center of gravity is in your core. A guy's center of gravity is up in our chest. If you have the chance, get us off guard there. That's just an extra tidbit. You ready for the big punching bag? I'll spot you." He asked, moving with her over to the regular sized bag. They sparred for the rest of class, and Blaze entertained the thought that he might be a good teacher after all.

*************

"Hey, do any of you guys have athletic tape? My knee is really hurting today and I'm out." Blaze asked to the guys as they were walking into the rink. Half the team tossed her various rolls of athletic tape, and she ducked from all the rolls flying at her. She grabbed a few and headed into the locker room, taping up her knee and getting ready to skate. 

Being honest, Blaze was not prepared for practice. She felt like she was weighed down and was lagging behind, and her knee wasn't helping her in the least on that front. She knew she was in the way so she stepped off the ice to regain her composure. 

Suddenly, she was just slammed with anxiety over her grades and homework and friends, and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Usually the cold air of the ice rink benefited her lungs, but she felt like it was choking her. She took her helmet off and pulled out her ponytail, letting her hair cascade down the back of her jersey. Razor surprised her. 

He put a steady hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him from the ground with tears welled up in her eyes and her voice small,

"Razor, I can't do this."

He sat down next to Blaze and put his arm around her, pulling her close to him. She was out of her element, and it didn't take much for him to notice that.

"I just can't. I'm not good enough to play Varsity hockey with you. My grades aren't as good as they  used to be and I don't know why, I'm studying harder than I have before and I'm getting worse results. Things just seem to be getting worse as time goes by, and I just can't--"

"Shhh, it's going to be okay. Take a breath, and focus on where you are now. You're doing fine. You're doing more than fine, you're getting better at this every day. I know how hard you work, and I think you just need time for all that information you're studying to sink in. You can do this. I'm here for you."

"Don't say that, because what happens when you're not?"

"I will be."

"That's a promise you and I both know you can't keep."

"Let's just get you through today, I'll be here for you today. I can keep that promise." Razor continued to comfort. He didn't know what else to say.

"I feel like I'm crashing."

"Because you are. You stressed yourself out so much, you finally exploded. It's okay, it happens to everybody. It'll be alright tomorrow morning. I'll take you home and everything will be just fine." He soothed.

"Don't get the wrong idea. You still annoy me." Blaze said through her tears.

"Eh, one day I won't annoy you. Maybe not annoy you in the bad way anymore, but maybe in the good way."

"I don't even know what you're talking about anymore, but I need you to keep me out of my head right now. I know you can do that. I need you, Razor. Right now, I need you. I'll get through the rest of my problems myself, but I can't do this alone right now. I'm sorry if that's too much of a burden, but that's okay. I'll just find someone else-"

"No. I'm here. I won't let you go through this alone tonight. That, I can promise." He said, and it was the last thing he said as he comforted her, running his hands through her hair as she started to calm down. Blaze tried to focus not on her feelings but on the sounds of the whistles, skates grinding against the ice and pucks being passed and shot. She knew she would be okay eventually, but not tonight. That was okay, she accepted that it was alright to not be alright. And, somehow, she trusted Razor when he said he would be there for her. If she didn't have anything, she had him for the night, and that was all she needed to pull through.