Something in my heart

18

Tahani

It's around one in the morning and I'm sitting at the top of the bed hugging my knees. Just thinking

They say you have to go through a rough time in life before you get to the good part of it. But I was still waiting

It's been about two weeks since my suspension was over and nothings changed, everything got worse

I thought after my suspension he would leave me alone. I was wrong

He still comes every night then during the day acts like nothing is going on. I guess that last part goes for me too

To top it off Eemoni hasn't talked to me since that time in the hallway. I miss her

In English we've been working on a partner project; We have to make our own full on newspaper. I guess Eemoni took that opportunity to find a partner on the other side of the classroom just so she wasn't by me. It's a odd number of people in class anyway so I asked to work by myself

School has been the least of my worries anyway. I've barely been attending. I come maybe two or three days out of the week

The only semi good thing to happen lately is my Mother finally warming up to me

I still feel like I'm resented some but it's not how it was a few weeks ago. Feeling like a stranger in my own home

The door starts opening

Then he comes in

He starts pulling his shorts down then walks over to the other side of the bed and lays down

He pulls his penis out and strokes it some groaning a little bit.

"Come kiss it"

Oh god no

I shook my head feeling tears already sliding down my face

"Tahani I'm not gonna tell you again"

"No" I wiped my face

He grabbed my jaw and started pulling me down towards it

I can't just let this happen I have to at least try

I manage to pry his hand off my face and then I try to scramble off the bed

He was able to grab my ankle and pull me back but I turned around and punched him in the face causing him to let go and grab his face as I fell off the bed

I jump to my feet at run towards the door but he beat me to it

He grabbed my neck punching me in the face causing me to fall to the floor

He bent down and grabbed my hair dragging me over to the side of my bed

"You gonna hit me?" He spat at me then proceeding to punch me again

"Huh?"

He hit me again

"I'm sorry" I cried

"Damn right you sorry. But don't worry your about to make it up to me"

He grabbed my hair again then shoved his penis in my mouth

I tried to pull back but his hand kept stoping me

He kept pushing bobbing my head. I couldn't breathe

"Mhm" he groaned out

This went on for about five more minutes until he busted in my mouth

He pushed my head back making it hit the bed, then he walked over putting his shorts back on before leaving my room

I walked over to my trash can spitting the semen out then dropping to my knees

I wanted to pray and ask God why this is happening to me. I wanted to ask him to protect me

But I couldn't

I couldn't because now I'm wondering if he exists. I thought he was supposed to love us but if he does why allow this to happen

If my Dad was really there. In heaven, why couldn't he save me. Protect me

Everyday I've been trying to find a reason why I should stay here. Not this house but Earth

I have no fight left in me