It's been years since its been you and me
Too many friends, too my commitments to be free
And to be with you I would do anything
Even lie to myself...
These days it feels really awkward to call
Brainstorming over common topics to talk
And I rush to my phone on every notification sound
I miss you every second when you are not around...
In the parking lot,
Will I ever stop looking for your sleek red car?
And I imagine your shadows laughing at our campus stall
Oh, how I wish I could rewind it all...
Cause everytime I see your face
On someone's instagram page
I know it all over again
How it feels to be replaced
So I will lie to myself
You are too busy and sometimes it misses your mind
I make a dozen excuses
That excuse you from ignoring your supposedly best friend...
So
I have been overindulging and lying awake in bed
Trying to stay afloat but things don’t seem to go my way
Been crying to songs that I don't even like
Fooling myself pretending everything is alright
When I go online I see your girls of grace
Who are masters of every show that l never ace
I have been taking long showers and cutting my hair
Going to weekend parties and I don't even care
Talking to recorders instead of friends
Spilling evey letter on my diary's page
And I will keep lying to myself
I have been sleeping too late and I am waking up early
Reevaluating myself while drinking iced coffee
And I think- this is enough for now
Its the little things that come around
And I know, this time around, tomorrow I will be stuck inside
A crowd that will swallow me and I will be lost
And I will say that its OKAY because
Its easier to lie
Than to smile sometimes
Its okay to allow myself to cry sometimes
Its okay if sometimes I wish to slow down time
Maybe just press rewind
And this time try to do it right
Maybe win this losing fight
I live so sad That happy endings seem overrated
Always been so focused on finding eternal happiness
That I forget to enjoy the little packets
Of joy that come along the ride
So maybe this time I wont lie to myself
***
Joy is not in going up
But coming down as fast as possible
And do it all over again
YOU ARE READING
ink stains on my fingers
PoetryI wanted to make something like this from a long time now, so I suppose this is a notes app equivalent of my phone. Nothing personal to be found, just random things typed at random times from midnight to 3 'o' clock and in between boring classes und...
