Wrong Move

8 - Three Words, Eight Letters

Six months later

Taylor

"You got employee of the month again?" Liam sounded amused over the phone. "They may as well just give you a permanent plaque at this stage"

I grimaced and looked at the certificate with a sense of disdain. I might have been proud of my achievements, but the only reason I was an employee of the month, fourth month in a row, was because of Wings. I'd started working at Binghams, the local hardware store, almost a week after I'd moved to my apartment. It only took me ten minutes to walk to, and it was an easy, relatively interesting job. I had learned a lot about building supplies and could actually tell tools apart, which was surprisingly handy when I changed the washer on the leaking kitchen faucet last week. I could have called my landlord, but he was a bit of a creep and I didn't want him in my space. But Wings had been making the job awkward, coming in every second day to buy anything under the sun. Whatever special we had on, that employees were told to sell hard, he would come in and buy double of. Even last time when it was a wheelbarrow. He'd bought three. What use did Wings have for a wheelbarrow, let alone three? I got a great commission from the big sales, and had been awarded an employee of the month because of it. But it meant that it forced me to spend time with Wings. It didn't matter if I was cold to him, if I ignored him, or if I was polite. He kept turning up, doggedly tracing my steps until I served him whatever strange amalgamation of items he thought of that day. It was driving me slowly insane. I wished he would just disappear from my life. I couldn't understand why he insisted on intruding on me. He'd invite me to the movies, he'd invite me to the clubhouse, tell me stories about the guys and whoever Casey was dating at that moment. Like I cared about any of that.

"You're still coming around tonight, right?" Liam said, when I didn't reply.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it."

"Ok, see you later. I love you," he said, sounding so sincere that my heart ached.

"See you later," I replied, hanging up to stem the awkwardness. Liam and I had been dating for six months now and two weeks ago, he'd said he loved me. I'd choked on my drink and looked at him with wide eyes. It was the last thing I'd expected from my sweet boyfriend and I had no words as he just gave me a sad smile. He said he knew I wasn't there yet, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. I adored Liam, and he'd helped heal my self-esteem after Wings had destroyed it. He didn't know the real reason I'd wanted the light off in the bedroom for months, until I found the courage to show him my body. He'd taught me that sex could be hugely pleasurable. He accepted me and wanted the best for me.

But I didn't love him.

More and more, I realized I needed to spend time with myself, to work out who Taylor really was and what she wanted. I'd let the tide sweep me along and never stopped long enough to discover my true interests or passions. Liam was a sales associate for an agricultural machinery company and he often flew out to different parts of the country to see how their products performed in different terrains. He loved the fast-paced nature of sales and the adrenaline of making a huge sale. I wished I had the passion he did. I knew I needed to break things off with him, but I enjoyed his company so much that I didn't want to. But then he'd said I love you. It didn't seem right to play with his heart. I'd been on the other side of that and it hurt. Liam deserved better, he deserved someone who could give him their whole heart. Mine was mangled and scarred before he met me and I wasn't sure how that could heal, except with time and self-reflection. I left work with a sense of despondency, knowing I had a hard night ahead. I didn't linger long at my apartment, only stopping to have a shower and change my clothes. These six months with Liam, I'd experimented a lot with clothes, feeling confident in my body for the first time. I'd found a happy medium from the girl who used to hide in oversized hoodies, enjoying comfort but also being able to show more of my shape. Liam met me at the door with a wide grin and he leaned in to give me a sweet kiss.