Fifty

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CARTER

I knew I shouldn't be doing this.

I'd literally just told Fraser that I didn't know what my feelings were and I didn't want to lead him on.

But the truth was, I'd grabbed his hand because every other time I'd done it I'd gotten butterflies and I liked the feeling. And, although I knew I could never tell anyone this, I did remember that kiss. Only now when he'd brought it up, but I remembered it. The feeling that I got from kissing him at the party that night was hard to ignore and I found myself thinking back on it frequently. And now the added memory of doing it again and feeling the fireworks again was resurging and I didn't want to ignore it or lose it, so I just had to do it one more time.

Even after all the bullshit, the fights, the broken wrist, the outbursts, the punch. After all of it, I realised although we made absolutely no sense we also made perfect sense and I didn't want to deny myself from it any longer.

It was all just so soon. I was in and out with Luke so quickly and it felt like everything since had been the most insane roller-coaster that was finally over. But by doing this with Fraser, I was strapping myself in for another crazy ride and I wasn't sure I wanted that just yet. I did know one thing, and that's that I wanted Fraser to myself and right now I had it. Call it taking advantage if you will, but I was being given what I wanted and I feel like for once I deserve to be happy, without all the consequences that seemed to come with it.

So I leaned in and I kissed him, right in the middle of the street where we were walking. It was freezing and his face was cold, but I burned on the inside with passion and desire. For Fraser McGill of all people.

When I pulled away, I was shivering so hard my teeth were chattering. He chuckled as he pressed one more peck to my lips.

"Come on, let's get back to my room before you freeze to death." I nodded and we continued our walk. We finally got back to Superblock and Fraser began leading the way to Pioneer.

"Wait, I need things"

"You can sleep in something of mine, if we go in there now, we might run into someone on the way out and I can imagine you'd rather not be seen by anyone we know right now"

"How did you-"

"I know you Carter, and I've figured out how your brain works. Come on, I'll put the radiator on as soon as we're in my room" I nodded and allowed him to keep leading me to Pioneer and up to his room.

Once we were inside, he immediately turned on the radiator and went to his drawers to get out some clothes. I was handed an Anaheim Ducks crewneck and a pair of black sweats.

"Here, you can get changed in the bathroom"

"I forgot you had your own bathroom, you lucky bastard" He smiled.

"Yeah, it's got its perks. Take your time, I'll quickly change out here" I nodded and locked myself in the bathroom and got changed into what he had given me. I knew this meant I would have to wear either these or my green Powerpuff Girls dress back to Centennial tomorrow, but I was grateful for the warmth and the fact they smelled like Fraser.

Oh my god, who was I getting so hung up on the way these boys smelled? Get it together Carter!

I dressed in the clothes and used the bathroom before opening the door, to find Fraser standing in a pair of gym shorts with no shirt on.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry" He laughed.

"Relax Pruitt, I'm not ashamed of my body. It's fine, I was just looking for a tank to wear to bed" I exited the bathroom as he pulled a Villa Park Spartans tank on.

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