!bottom childe x reader

beginnings

You and he were friends for a while, you still remember him walking toward you and introducing himself to you. You remember the frigid light reflecting off of his amber hair, and you remember later grabbing onto it as you two kissed in the bathroom. Sure, he was rich and all but besides that, you found yourself enjoying his company- loving his laugh, getting lost in his eyes, all of that stupid love crap. You two were just friends with benefits though, and you knew that. Whenever he kissed you, or caressed your thigh, or even when he brought you flowers. None of that was love, and it's not like you minded it, you still got to be close to him and that was enough for you.
This was one of those times when you truly felt close to him.

___________

He was on the phone and ordering a bottle of wine and some beers that you two could share, you both went out together briefly before that and you just walked around and talked about the different things that were going on in your lives. He had a much more exciting life than you did, even if he worked for the Fatui and, in turn, couldn't tell you a lot about his life, it was still more entertaining than the job that you had. The most interesting things you could offer to tell him were just summaries of petty drama that was happening around your job. Still, he humored you and laughed at the stories you told while listening intensely to the sound of your voice, it was like he just wanted to hear you speak.

Right now though, you were sitting on his couch, zoning out to the TV playing in the background and playing with your hands. As you were zoning out, you failed to notice that he had gotten off the phone and was seated beside you on the couch.

"Hello?" he said, and then he said your name,

that got your attention.

"Huh- oh hey," you said while turning your head towards him, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking about stuff."

"It's fine. I just ordered the wine and some food, it'll be here in about thirty minutes or so, is that okay?"

"Yeah."

He turns his gaze away from you and looks back at the TV.

"You know," he starts, "You can tell me if something is wrong. I care about you, you know? We don't just have sex every now and then, we're friends. Right?"

You shift uncomfortably away from him and instinctively turn your head away from him in embarrassment, you just wanted to kiss him, sit on his lap, grab onto his hair, trace his scars, something. You wanted to be close to him but you didn't know how to tell him that- you were afraid that if he didn't feel the same then you'd never be able to touch him like that again. You'd never be able to laugh with him, or drink with him, or feel his warm touch against yours ever again, and that scared you.

"I-" you started to say with your face flaring up, "I want- I want to be more, I want to have more."

"What do you mean?"

You could feel his eyes on you now, more than ever, but there was no going back at this point. You needed to have him, you needed him to love you.

"I mean- us I want us to be more." You said, finally returning his gaze with one more uncomfortable shift in your movement.

"Oh," he said, his face ever so slightly flushing with pink.

Oh? What does that mean?

He laughs for a second, a nice laugh.
"That's it? Really? D'you really think that I couldn't tell? I was just waiting for you to say something," he admits proudly, "I'm surprised it took you that long to realize- I mean- we talk, a lot, and it's not like we haven't gone on dates before. What do you think we were doing this whole time?"