Monochromatic

Day 9

"You didn't go last night." Mrs. Yoo spoke up as she opened the door to her daughter's room. The girl had spent the whole night in her room and even went so far as yelling angrily at Yeoreum to leave her alone.

"It's not for me." Jimin said simply as she typed away in her laptop.

"But you liked it." Mrs. Yoo told her.

"But it's not for me."

Mrs. Yoo sat down on the bed. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You know... you still have one more day."

"They don't want me there."

Mrs. Yoo shrugged. "That's the best reason to be there."

Jimin sighed and closed her laptop. "I'm sure you're aware that I met someone at the circus."

"Yes, I am." Mrs. Yoo nodded.

"Well, I love her. But it's not enough to make her stay." Jimin told her, pursing her lips.

Jimin started to wonder if anything in life was within someone's grasp. Or was everything just like magic was? It was there, but there wasn't a proper explanation for it. Because the fact of the matter was, you can't explain the things you want.

Minjeong was there, but she couldn't have her. Not in the way Jimin wanted to. Not in the way she could ever want.

Minjeong was like a cloud, Jimin thought. You could come up with a million theories of what the shape could be but you'd never fully know. It would always be a mystery.

Jimin thought she was the mystery but turned out to be that all along it was Minjeong.

Mrs. Yoo smiled softly at Jimin. "You wanna know the thing about love?"

"No, but I assume you're going to tell me." Jimin told her.

Mrs. Yoo chuckled. "When it's real, it's a hurricane. And you know what hurricanes do? It's strong and violent and without caution. A hurricane knows no boundaries. It simply comes in and messes everything up and that's exactly what love does. It's passionate and unexpected and often times heartbreaking. But if it's true... like a hurricane, the mess will end and things will be okay." She explained to her daughter.

Jimin shook her head. "I appreciate your analogy mom, but I also would like to point out that hurricanes also leave permanent damage. It was there. And scars will remain and so will trauma. That's love too. And that's the love I don't want to experience."

"You're going to experience it whether you like it or not. You fell in love... regardless how this ends... you'll always have the scar in your heart that you fell in love. But shouldn't that scar heal well? I think you owe it to yourself and that girl." Mrs Yoo smiled softly.

Jimin sighed. "Well even if I wanted to heal my scar... she doesn't want me around. She ended it."

"But you didn't."

"I can't fight for something the other person doesn't want."

"I'm not telling you to fight for them, Jimin, I'm telling you to fight for you." Mrs. Yoo told her. "You let people walk all over you back then. People took advantage of you and hurt you. Don't let it happen again. Fight for your feelings, they're real and they're yours. Fight for what's yours."

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Jimin walked inside the familiar tent after having paid for her ticket. She looked around, trying to find an empty seat. The place was packed, since the circus was leaving the next day.