Floating

Chapter 1 (TW: slight sh mention, abuse)

So here I am again. Standing in my room like a freak and not knowing which one of my two pullovers to wear. ,,I'll just go with grey I guess. I mean it's not like anybody would notice what I wear anyways", I said to myself. I did my everyday hairstyle (a low ponytail so my messy hair wouldn't get in the way) and put on my heart shaped Rosequarz necklace I got from my favourite person. ,,Hurry up! We're running late", I heard my mom yelling from downstairs. ,,Fuck, I forgot my bandages", I thought. ,,But they're not that deep so they shouldn't open up or get infected or something like that". I ran downstairs, got my backpack ready, put on my green jacket and headed out to school.

~1 hour and 35 minutes later~

Well, I came late anyway so I could have had breakfast but I'm not hungry anyway. I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched. ,,Heyy, how are y-", I heard from behind. A released feeling flowed through my body. ,,Oh c'mon. No need to be scared of me. I mean it's not like I'm going to hurt you or something, Ave", a female, a bit too high and annoying voice said. I just shrugged and gave her (my "friend" Catherine aka Cat) an a bit disappointed look. ,,Well, if you don't want me here I'll just go", she said and went on her way to a group of girls. Or at least that's what I think happened because from the moment on she let go of my shoulder I didn't feel real anymore. I honestly don't know how to describe it but it feels like you are floating inside of your body, are unable to hear anything and everything goes blurry. This feeling lasted for at least 2 more minutes.
When I was finally back in reality, everyone was gone. ,,Break is over I guess", I thought to myself and went back into my classroom. ,,Late again Miss Ellison?", Mr. Jones (my teacher) asked. I hate it when he calls me Miss. I look at the clock at the other side of the room. 11:03 a.m. it says. 11:03?! I missed 68 minutes of history class. ,,I want you to stay a bit longer after class, I'd like to talk to you", he said and told me to go to my seat. I was honestly scared what he wanted. For the remaining time of class I drew some doodles on my paper and nearly fell asleep. No surprise since I slept 3 hours because my parents had an argument last night so it's just natural, that I'm tired now.

~22 minutes later~

The bell finally rang and I was on my way out the classroom when I remembered that Mr. Jones wanted to talk to me. He sat on the table and look at me with a worried look. ,,Is everything alright? I mean you often come late to class, you are always alone, don't rise your hand in class, you are pretty isolated from your classmates and usually very quiet. Also, I noticed, that you often look tired. Is everything alright? You can always talk to me or another trusted person", he said with a friendly smile on his face. I didn't know what to say. ,,Just a bit tired, that's all. I'm fine", I said, trying to hold back my tears. You may wonder why I'm almost crying. Well, usually people don't say the words "is everything alright?" To me, because it just became my natural expression to look tired or exhausted. But I can't. I can't tell him what's wrong. Not because I don't want to or because I don't want help. The problem is, that I don't know what's wrong. He looked at me with an understanding but concerned expression and I could swear he looked disappointed for a second and I do feel bad for not telling him what's wrong, since he already made an effort to ask me and waste his time but what should I've told him? That I don't know what's wrong? He stood up packed his bag and told me I could go now.
,,Only chemistry left", I thought, then rushed to the toilets because I couldn't hold the tears anymore.