RESOLUTION [BOOK II] | JENLISA

EIGHT

LISA

***

Despite years of sharing a bed with her, I’d never gotten used to how peaceful my wife looked while she was sleeping. Perhaps it was because I never saw her in such a state while she was awake.

It always amazed me, the sheer quietness of her face—no expression, no stress lines. She was just…existing.

I watched her breathing, her chest rising and falling steadily, as I waited for the text to come from Taehyung to let me know he was pulling down the driveway.

I had to hope Jennie would stay asleep through it all, that I’d be able to sneak whatever this was into the room without her noticing.

Maybe I should’ve just told her what was happening, but I knew my wife. I knew she wouldn’t have been okay with the blackmail—because that’s what it was at the end of the day.

I was being blackmailed by a man I once considered my best friend.

Of course, that was before I knew who he was. Before I knew what he’d done.

Before he brought me into his world and ruined my life.

I’d met Taehyung the week I moved into my college dorm. As my roommate, he was my default friend, and because I had no others, I latched on to him.

I’d never had a good relationship with the men in my life—my dad and older brothers—and I’d had very few friends growing up, and because of my condition having men genetalia so I’m embarrassed to admit how desperately I wanted Taehyung’s approval.

I thought he was cool.

Three years older, despite being a freshman like I was, he was one of those guys with an effortless swagger and confidence I couldn’t have attempted if I was paid to.

I still have no idea why he let me hang around him back then—maybe more for amusement than anything—but I was so glad he did. I did whatever he asked: wrote his essays, paid for his books, cleaned his side of the dorm.

Anything.

Everything.

Whatever it took to fit in with him.

And in the end, everything was exactly what it took.

I wasn’t supposed to be in the dorm that night. I should’ve been home for fall break, but my parents had been fighting and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to get back to school.

It was the only place I felt safe.

The only place I didn’t feel five years old anymore.

When I walked into our dorm to see the two naked bodies on our floor—Taehyung on top of a girl I didn’t recognize—I panicked. I’d accidentally seen him having sex before, but it was something we’d mitigated with a sock on the door.

This time, because he wasn’t expecting me, there was no sock.

“Sorry,” I’d said, covering my eyes and trying to shuffle out of the room quickly.

He hadn’t responded and I’d slammed the door, feeling useless. I wasn’t wanted at home, my parents probably hadn’t even noticed I’d left, and now I wasn’t welcome there. I had nowhere to go. Nothing to do.

I walked across the dark quad, feeling miserable and alone, and found an empty bench to sit down on for a while. An hour later, my phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, spying Jim’s number on my screen.