Cagney and Lacey - Marriage?

Chapter 5

Tony was the only one who shared the same upstairs hallway as me. We had been friends since he moved in. Actually, I had hoped he would be my next flame, and I was disappointed when I found out he was gay. But now I was grateful for that fact.

I knocked on Tony's door, and fortunately he was home, and not yet asleep, because he opened his door.

"Tony, can I come in?" I asked.

"Sure!" He stepped aside. So he had no company from Daniel, good.

Tony's apartment was similar to mine, but he had decorated it in his own style. Kinda cozy, still.

I let myself fall onto his couch.

"Would you like a drink?" he offered.

"No thanks, I already drank too much. I just need to talk."

He sat down next to me. "I'm all ears."

"I um... I've been kissed." I felt a huge blush rise as I said that.

Tony smiled broadly. "Let me guess, by your nice, sweet partner?"

I stared at him. "How the hell do you know?"

He laughed. "Come on, Christine, I've seen you two walk close together, arms around each other. I've seen you kiss each other goodbye. To tell you the truth, I thought you were already a couple."

"No! We are just friends! She totally took my by surprise when she kissed me."

He laughed again. "It was so obvious! This was bound to happen."

I felt embarrassed. "I... I never thought anything of our friendship."

Tony kept laughing. "You were in denial, honey."

"I was not!" I became irritated by his laughter.

"Oh yes, completely in denial. So, how are you feeling now?"

"I'm ... I'm so confused," I admitted, now being honest.

Finally Tony stopped laughing. "That happens to all of us the first time. No matter what our age."

So he was already including me as a gay sister.

"I don't know what to do," I whispered.

"First stop denying it," he replied, "Be honest with yourself and me. Did you like the kiss?"

Tears sprang to my eyes. I brought my fingers to my lips, still feeling Mary Beth's kiss. "Yes, yes! It was wonderful."

Tony put his arm around me. I immediately thought back to Mary Beth's arms, and her soft, feminine body, so different from this man's, and all the guys I had been with. "Well, you've taken the first, most important step - you've stopped denying it."

"But how could this suddenly happen? I'm 38 years old. I've always had relationships with guys, never with girls."

"Did you never fall in love with a woman before?"

The question shocked me. Was I in love?

"I'm not in love with Mary Beth!"

"Okay, maybe I'm going too fast now."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Tony only confused me more at this moment.

"I'll put it another way. Have you ever had any kind of feelings for a girl or woman?"

"I had a crush on a girl when I was a teenager," I admitted reluctantly, "but that's part of growing up."

"Maybe it was more than that."