Oh, Brother Of Mine

Chapter 6

He woke up thinking it had all been a nightmare. The only way he knew it wasn't was because of how quiet his home was. At this time, Adelinde would already be up and about, preparing breakfast for the three of them.  Father would already be up, discussing something with Elzer about how to further improve the quality of their wine. Kaeya would be nagging him to help him brush his hair for the thousandth time that week. But the house was silent, dead silent, and Diluc finally understood what being alone truly meant.

The rain from last night still pounded against the glass of his window. Diluc wanted it to stop. The rain had always been something that brought him comfort, that helped him put his mind to ease. Now, he wanted nothing more than to block it out of his mind, to keep that dull thrum far, far away from him. 

The rain made him remember. The weight of the spear in his hands. The feeling of his vision giving out. His father stepping up. The dark power he had wielded. The way his body had faded. The feeling of his hands wrapped around his father's throat. Kaeya's cold voice. The look of determination in that eye. The fresh cut, going through the entire right side of Kaeya's face. The blood trickling down his brother's cheek. The way his voice had been full of hatred. The way his claymore had felt so heavy in his hands. The way his brother turned on him, left him behind, walked away as if nothing concerned him. The way he had been the one to kill his father, to raise a blade against his own brother.

...what had he done?

Maybe if he hadn't been so careless as to leave his claymore in his office. Maybe if he'd trained harder and knew how to fight without a blade. Maybe if he had been stronger, smart, more resilient. Maybe if he'd been able to help Father as he fought. Maybe if he had just waited a little, maybe if he'd managed to keep Father talking until backup arrived, Father would still be here. Maybe if he had stopped, had listened first rather than reacted, he would still have his brother by his side. 

Was it his fault, then, that he'd lost everyone? That Father was dead and that his own brother had turned his back on him? No, no, that couldn't be it, he'd done everything in his power to stop the drake, and his reaction to what Kaeya had said was a natural one, right? Surely anyone would react in the same way upon hearing that their closest friend and family was a traitor... right? So it wasn't his fault that all of this had crashed down, right? Right?

No, he wouldn't waste his time thinking about something like this. He had- he had other things to do. He still had to fix what he could. He may not be able to bring Father back, but he still had a chance to fix things with Kaeya. He shivered at the thought of him. Kaeya had looked so... strange in the light of the moon, with the rain drenching him to the bone. He looked determined, though Diluc couldn't quite tell what it had been that he wanted. Revenge for the people of Khaenri'ah? A second chance? Or something else entirely?

The memory of Kaeya's eye flashed in his mind, making his blood run cold. Never before had he seen the eye behind Kaeya's eyepatch. He had never bothered to ask, had simply accepted it to be an unchangeable part of Kaeya, but last night when he'd struck, he could've sworn he saw a golden eye behind the fabric. It had been so bright that even now, Diluc was struck by it, his throat dry. If he'd had any doubts about Kaeya's origins before, he was certain about it now. Golden eyes were a rarity, and he couldn't think of a single other person who had them. For someone to have eyes such as Kaeya's, they had to be from some place abandoned. 

He was a spy. From Khaenri'ah. His entire life had been dedicated to saving Khaenri'ah, to tearing Mondstat down and getting the fallen nation to rise again. But... Kaeya loved Mondstat, didn't he? And had he not said he regretted his actions? That he would put Mondstat first? Diluc didn't remember anymore. He couldn't. It felt as though there were too many things happening at once and not enough time to deal with them, as if something was only adding fuel to an already-raging fire.