“Insanity is quite a strong word, don’t you think?”
“It’s fitting for people who come to places like these.”
“I see,” she said. She adjusted her glasses and made a note in the red book – the book of judgement. Something about it felt like mockery. Belittling. The patient felt her control being stripped away and replaced with a powerlessness that was demeaning. “Did you think she was insane?”
Silence was becoming a common occurrence in the room. At first, it seemed only because of the awkward atmosphere that the patient was yet to be accustomed to. Now, however, it was because of the weight of the question. It was because the truth of the matter was the contradiction the patient despised. It was because of who the question was about. She – the root of all problems.
“No, I didn’t. I don’t. Her and I were never the same.”
“What about you was different?”
“Everything. She always lied like someone was paying her for it. About any little thing. About everything.”
“Do you think you would have been better off with the truth?”
“Maybe. Maybe I would have handled things better. Maybe I would have treated her – the situation – like I do with everything else; I would have left to save myself from all the trouble.”
▪︎▪︎
The gates of House of Grace opened and Tessa Wilkins began driving inside. Something was wrong. The silence in the car was wrong. The atmosphere was wrong. The feeling of turmoil that flowed like a waterfall from Allison’s chest to her stomach was wrong. She felt sick and she could feel the blueberry pancakes she had had that morning begging to come out. She swallowed really hard, and from the corner of her eye she could see Tessa pay absolutely no mind to her; she was too focused on finding the most convenient place to park the car.
Under different circumstances, when Allison felt this way, she needed Tessa to be concerned. She would have wanted Tessa to ask questions. But things were different. Questions and concerns were worrying. They carried too many answers that were bound to make Tessa’s unshaken devotion for her disappear.
It did not take too long for the car to park near the entrance. Allison slowly unbuckled her seatbelt and sat up straighter as if readying herself for something big. She felt Tessa look at her. She turned to stare back, and to her demise, something big descended. “Do you know that man?” Tessa’s tone was serious, and so was the expression on her face.
Allison cleared her throat, and that was her first mistake. This was something she did when she was preparing to lie, or move around in an endless loop with responses that did nothing to answer the question. “What man?”
“The security guard,” Tessa responded blankly. “Do you know the security guard?”
“No.”
“Does he know you?”
“I don’t know,” she answered. It was a lie. She knew that he knew her. Everyone in Oakwood knew Allison Yun for who she was and what she was. And she knew that Tessa knew she was being dishonest.
“I don’t like the way he looked at you and the shit he was saying. So, I’m going to ask you again, and I want you to be honest with me. Does he know you?” she repeated.
Tessa’s jargon hit a nerve. Allison had already been drowning in stress and unease since the ‘Welcome to Oakwood’ sign. She was already nervous about seeing her mother. It was not the right time. “Don’t do that, Tessa,” Allison answered. Her tone was laced with irritation. “Don’t treat me like I’m another one of those criminals you see every day.”
