Tessa Wilkins once convinced herself that six years was more than enough time for her to have seen every fragment of Allison. Every side. Oakwood, on the other hand, proved otherwise. This side of Allison was new – the side where she had cried so much it felt as though she would never stop. The side where she sat in the car with puffy eyes while staring forward at the road. The side where she sat in silence. The side where the silence was hard to bear. Allison Yun looked defeated beyond repair, and for the first time, Tessa did not know what to do. She just kept driving, hoping that their final destination was nothing like House of Grace.
Tessa could not refute that it was her fault. Oakwood was her fault. Oakwood was her utterly stupid idea because of her ideals that she grew up with. She knew from watching her mother’s failed marriage with her father to never devote a lifetime to someone whose family she had never met.
Family was, after all, a true reflection of who a person really was. All she wanted to get out of seeing what her fiancé’s childhood looked like was avoiding the mistake her mother made. This one thing – meeting Allison’s small family – was the consolation she needed that their relationship would last. That the version of Allison she knew was real and not a façade aimed to feed at her fantasies. That the version of Allison she knew would actually stay.
Tessa Wilkins always knew the answers, and when she did not, she always found them. However, when it came to Allison, Tessa just never knew. Even her intuition had no clue. It brought her as much intrigue as it was her crippling fear. It was a hypocritical thought to have that she would wake up one day and Allison would be gone. Tessa knew that if anything, Allison was the one who had the right to question her loyalty; Tessa had left once. She learnt the hard way how being apart destroyed them both.
“Tess, don’t forget the turn,” Allison said softly. That was the first thing she had said since she had left her mother’s room in tears.
“I won’t, my love,” Tessa responded as she glanced at Allison briefly just to make sure she was alright. She looked far from it.
The more she thought about it – the way Allison had completely broken down in her arms and the way she had held her as if that same hold was her only sustenance – the more she felt like the worst partner in the world. Tessa was better than this. Tessa was more considerate than this. She knew what Allison had gone through in Oakwood – at least to the extent that Allison was ready to share. She knew about Isabella going missing, yet she still insisted on going to Oakwood to satisfy her own unjustified distrust about their relationship.
“Why do you look like that?”
“Like what?”
“You look guilty. I hope you’re not beating yourself up because of what happened with my mom, Tessa,” Allison said with a sigh.
“What did happen?” Tessa asked cautiously. She could not help how curious she was. Perhaps if she knew what the problem was – what had caused Allison to cry that way – she would be able to make things better. She would not feel as useless and as guilty for being to blame. Unfortunately, all Tessa received in response was a glare. A warning. It was not the right time to talk about it. “Sorry,” Tessa mumbled. Another time then.
“Do I look like shit right now?” Allison randomly asked.
Tessa glanced at her once more. Allison was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman she had ever met. When she smiled, it was so captivating that it made Tessa’s world stop just to admire. However, when she frowned, just as she was at that moment, it made Tessa’s world run into a chaos she could not control, searching for ways to bring back that smile.
Allison’s brown eyes always glowed when she looked at her. That was one of the things she did that made Tessa feel loved in ways she had never felt before – that look of admiration. Everything about Allison was perfect, real and terrifying beyond the bounds of words. Even when her eyelids were as red as they were from all the crying. Even when the glimmer in her eyes was dimmed down. Even when she looked anxious and unhappy. Even at her very worst, Allison’s beauty never faltered.
