A Little Introduction To E

My anger

As always I said a lot so buckle up and grab a snack.

I've been trying to figure out a way to start this but I'm just going to jump straight into it.

I have a lot of hate in my heart like anger, rage, and plane disgust and I hate that about myself.

I call myself a Christian but I think this way about people, groups, and other things like that. I bash other Christians and just people in general like conservatives for having hate in their heart and speaking out about it in such a loud way. Though I know I have so much hate that the words I speak don't even feel true.

Sometimes I just feel so angry at the world and myself that I can't even put it into words. It doesn't even make sense to me how much hate I have. I want to kill myself and everyone around me AND the world at this point.

I don't want to sound crazy and I know there might be some people that agree with me but I don't see myself as a hateful person. I'm kind and empathetic and I can agree with people very easily, which I know a lot of people can't.(I'm not trying to like hype myself up or talk good about myself or anything I'm just saying I very easily forgive people no matter what).

I just can't shake the feeling that what I feel like I have in my heart is not right. It's like it's not supposed to be there, it's off.

Sometimes I have so much anger I feel like I'm going to throw up. Like I'm going to burst from it.

The best way I can explain it is I feel like someone is stepping on my heart with rage and anger and they're trying to move up to my throat or brain or something and let it all out on the world. I feel like if I let it out I'll make the world burn because that's what I want to do and I don't like that about myself.

The world is such a nasty and hateful place even the beauty can be nasty no matter how you try and look at it or twist the truth to make it seem right, it's just not.

I feel like even if I do get help that the weight on my heart will always be there and I'll never be truly happy and it makes me genuinely want to die.

I feel like this isn't how I wanted to explain this because I still didn't get my words out right. I know I might sound calm but that's just because my anger is buried so deep and hidden so well that it won't come out right when it's in writing or in this case typing.

I just want to see the world burn with me in it.

Anyway that's enough again like always I really do want to hear what you guys think and if you can agree with me so I don't sound half as crazy.

I hope you readers enjoyed and have a great day, night, or evening, Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, or whatever you celebrate just have a good life cuz it's short.