November 1st, 2022
9:00 p.m.
On some real shit, I noticed that when you start focusing on your self, it's hard to let people in your space. I have absolutely no desire to deal with anyone else's shit right now. Like me personally, I have some things coming up for myself that really require me to be on my shit. If I'm being honest with myself I'm probably depressed, I been finding every reason to isolate myself from everyone. My friends ain't been hearing from me, but they checked in and I appreciate that, even though I just tell them I'm fine. I am. I'm fine. The more I say it, the more I believe it.
Being a young mom is hard. I feel like sometimes people forget and/or disregard that I'm still growing up, while trying to raise a child. To be clear, It's a decision I made, and I know I can do it, but that doesn't mean I don't have my off days. I always feel the need to repeatedly add that in, because as soon as I part my lips to state that this shit is hard or that I'm having any type of troubles, it's always thrown in that hey that's what you chose to do. I actually take offense to that, cause it's implied that I could've had an abortion, and I can't imagine my life without my baby, I personally can't stomach that I could've chosen to get rid of such a beautiful soul. You know, I'm always thinking about my next move, how I'm going to make things happen so that myself and mine have what we need, and don't go without. Right now my vision a little disillusioned, I don't feel like I'm mentally all the way here, that makes it 10x worse some times, in moments like this.
I'll be back in a few days. I'm mentally checked out right now. All my entries won't be like this guys I promise. Stay with me.
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Signed,
K.T. <3
Insta: main @lexkouturee
Business @KoutureTreatz
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Keep going, Keep Faith.
