Joseph Quinn Smut

Hold on

I'm sorry if the beginning half is super sad but I hope you enjoy this. I am also sorry it is long.

*ANGST

*MENTIONS OF MISCARRIAGE

*FLUFF AT THE END

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Reading through all of the hateful messages and comments from some of Dacre's fans was horrible. It happens every time either he or I post anything. They will point out every flaw. It doesn't help the depression that I was currently going through.

Dacre and I had been together for a few years and we had been trying to start a family. But every test came back negative until a few months ago. We finally got that positive but our joy was ruined the beginning of this month. I miscarried. It was the worst thing I've ever gone through.

My hands clutched the sides of our bathroom sink. My knuckles were turning white. Tears running down my face. I just need to relieve some of this pain. I reach a shaky hand out to grab the pills that I take to help me.

I take a small breath trying to calm myself. I open the two bottles to take my medicine.

"Y/N!" Dacre yelled out causing me to jump and knock the bottles off the counter.

"Shit." I mumbled as the door handle moved.

"Y/n? Are you ok?" He asked me trying to open the door again.

"Ya just give me a few minutes. I just need a minute." I say back as I start to pick up and separate the two sets of pills.

"Ok. Hurry please Jamie and Jess just showed up and we are waiting on you for the movie." Fuck I forgot they were coming.

"Ok."

I finish separating them but forget which one I had just taken. Another dose won't hurt right? I take both pill from the bottles. A few minutes later I start to get a little dizzy. I go to open the door to get Dacre but I fall. I must have hit my head because everything went dark.

——————————-Dacre's POV————————

"She'll be right out." I say.

"She ok? She's been acting a little different the past few days." Jamie asked me he was her best friend.

"I hope so. I know she's been through a lot the past month." I say sitting down. To be honest I noticed her mood shift. Ever since she lost the baby she's been spiraling.

I know my fans aren't making anything better. I tried to do everything I could to help her but I can only do so much. Her depression is back and I think it's worse but every time I bring it up she smiles and brushes me off saying she's fine. We hear a small thud. Like something fell. I get up and walk to the bathroom again.

"Baby? You ok?" I knock. No response.

"Y/n! Open the door." I start to slowly slip into a panic. There's no noise. I practically run to the kitchen to grab a knife to pop the lock on the bathroom door.

"Everything ok?" Jamie asked. I shake my head unable to form any words. The worst flying through my head.

"Y/n. I'm coming in." I use the knife to get the lock undone and I push the door open.

"Fuck! Y/n. Can you hear me baby?" She hit her head I think. I'm not sure but there's blood.

I see the two pill bottles and realized that she must have mixed them up. I scoop her into my arms and lift her off the floor.

"Grab the car keys." I tell Jamie. He takes off for the kitchen. I follow holding her close to me.

"Hold on baby. I still need you." I am helplessly praying she's ok.