NOT THE SAME (DUSKWOOD FANFIC SERIES)

A YEAR LATER

"Ma'am, would you like to order something?" the waitress asks me again with the same calmness in her tone, smiling more brightly. I notice her red lipstick on the side of her teeth.

"Ma'am?" she asks again when I don't reply, she adds "Is he not coming?"

Of course, she knows I'm waiting for someone. I had been sitting in that restaurant for an hour checking my phone every few minutes and biting my nails in nervousness. At this point, anyone would know that I got stood up. This suddenly reminded me of Dan. I had made fun of him back then, but now that I know what it feels like. Trust me, it doesn't feel very good. Even if you don't care or love the person who didn't turn up. 

I order myself a chicken salad and orange juice solely because it didn't seem appropriate to leave the restaurant after I had occupied their table for an hour. 

When I looked around me, everything was normal. There were couples, some were with their families, everyone having a good time with their loved ones. What would life feel like if my parents were still alive and healthy? what would it be like to have a sister or a brother? How amazing would that be, be around people you care so much about and when you know they love you too? 

Tears fill my eyes and I quickly wipe them with the back of my hand. No, I cannot cry and embarrass myself more tonight, I remind myself. I have to pretend to be normal, finish what I have ordered, and get out of here. 

After ten minutes of chewing rapidly and gulping the juice, the mission is complete. Sure, I could see some people and the staff staring at me like I was a monster but I didn't care. I'm not coming here again anyway. I pay with my card and walk out as if I'm in a rush. 

I promised myself to never go on a blind date ever again on the way back to my apartment. I could invest my time in dating and maybe if I tried I could really find love again. but I guess I didn't want to try.

because of him... My heart whispers and I scream out loud as if that thought would go away but it never does. He never leaves my mind even if it has been a long time now. I try explaining to myself again that surely he must've moved on by now, gotten busy with his own life. Surely, I didn't mean anything to him. It was stupid to believe that he would contact me once I was invaluable to him. But if that were the case, he wouldn't have confessed-

my phone vibration brings me back to reality, the caller ID shows "Ellie." I pick up clearing my throat. 

"So? How was it?"  her voice makes me smile. 

"It was.. amazing." I hadn't planned on lying but I only did it so she would stop worrying about me and setting me up on blind dates every week. It was just a waste of time. I knew it would never work with any of the men I was meeting. 

"That's great! I can't believe it! so you are going out with him again, right?" the excitement in her voice kills me. 

"Yeah, sure." 

"that's amazing! Are you still with him?"

"Yeah.. he's walking me home," I tell her, hating myself for lying to her. 

"Ah, that's so gentlemanly of him. well, I don't want to disturb you. Have fun, I'll see you tomorrow."

I hang up, sighing. 

As I'm about to get in the elevator, my phone pings, and I decide to ignore it until I'm in my apartment but still check who it is. 

My heart stops. And I blink several times to make sure I'm not seeing things. It can't be him. It can't be Jake.

No...

But it is. It is Jake...

I shut my phone and get in the elevator. I need to get to the apartment before I open the message. The elevator seems like taking its own time, I cursed myself for choosing an apartment on the 15th floor. Not knowing why he texted me and what he texted me about was driving me crazy.