ESPRESSO X MADELEINE SMUTSHOTS

The Medicine isn't working.

TW!! : S*icide Attempt, Self-harm, Depression, R*ping, Childhood trauma, & Ofc smut.

And no it's not Madeleine r*ping Espresso/Espresso r*ping Madeleine.

Sorry if it's another suggestive content cause I kinda enjoy writing these :) Also if you feel uncomfortable reading these type of stuff please skip this chapter ^^

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Espresso's POV:

Im alone in my room, thinking–just thinking about my thoughts.

I'm so tired of my parents yelling at me for being on my phone for hours. Especially thinking about him.

TW!! Underage R*pe scene!! I hope my book won't get deleted 😇

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He pinned me against the walls even tighter, and tighter.

He place his hands on my small mouth and covered them up, keeping my scream away from something? I don't know..

"Shh.. Mom will hear us.. Don't you want to have some fun..~?" He softly whispered in my ears, I shivered.

I can't stop shivering, my body– It hurts. Tears were dripping even more through my cheeks, I can't stop crying. I hate you Uncle.

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Ever since my uncle passed away, that scene couldn't stop playing in my mind, it kept replaying it all over-

i sighed. here we go again.. 

After that i started cutting myself again. Gosh I hate myself.

"Life is a miracle" people said. It wasn't for me. IT WAS PAIN–SUFFERING. NOTHING BUT FUCKING PAIN.

People never understood me, they never did but I wish they did.

The demons on my head keep on haunting me. It was all too much..

Life was confusing. life is like a rollercoaster of emotions. I can't change myself now huh? It's too late for to do it anyway. Well i fucked up things again, yes it was my fault, It has always been.

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT AND YOU HAVE NOBODY TO BLAME.

"SHUT UP THE FUCK UP!!" I yelled. " SHUT UP! SHUT U–" my voice cracked.

"shut up please...i-i can't take this anymore"  I whispered under my breath softly.

my throat is swelling so i cleared my throat a bit.

"Am I going crazy? i keep hearing someone in my head it's just odd and crazy,"
"I feel like i am going insane" I said to myself.
"why am I even talking to myself anyway,its fucking–I don't know!! crazy shit!!" I shrieked.

Fuck. my throat hurts–everything hurts. I just want to end all the pain in my life.

"I give up, let me die already" i said to myself. " nobody even cares if i die now" i thought to myself. because they just don't understand me. My family only hurts me anyway..