Decaying Hearts

Chapter 25

The gentle pit-patter of rain welcomed me graciously back to the world of consciousness. A heavy scent of wet grass tainted with a metallic twang eased its way into my vulnerable senses, soon followed by the sickening stench of manure. The smell, powerful and rancid, demanded my attention - as though desperate to be known. It had definitely been successful on it's mission for recognition, I thought as my scrunched unpleasantly.
My stomach lurched with the violent threat of vomiting stronger than even the foul odour invaded the air, tailgated by a dire grumble from the depths of my stomach. The growl seemed to echo with enough volume to disturb the sleeping earth beneath us.
Hunger pains; a feeling that was all too familiar for my own liking. It reminded me of the days out on the road alone. More often than not I would go days with out food. It was just so hard to come by, I don't know how the group had been so lucky! Houses, shops, warehouses - everything- had already been looted by my fellow survivors, leaving me to slowly starve. That was if the dead didn't catch me first.
Most of all, it reminded me of the fear that stalked my every move caused by the living nightmares that now roamed our earth freely. Whilst the dead prospered, humanity remained on the edge of extinction. The fear was real, as real as you and I, as real as the tragedy of death. It was as though night terrors held me in their tightest grip, only now it had the power to take its hold on me during the lightest if days as well as the forsaken nights. There was no just escaping the horror that the world had become; apparently not through death.
When I finally opened my eyes I was welcomed only by more darkness. I could barely see a thing, except the occasional flicker of a torch light - I guess it was who ever was on watch. I waited just a few moments for my eyes to adjust and noticed the outline of a body next to mine. Right next to mine. Her petite body curved slightly with her back pressed against my side and her long hair reaching out to tickle my nose. Her breathing was as light as a feather, her chest barely even twitched as the air slowly entered her lungs. The only reassurance was the soft whistle from her button nose that came with every breath. She was laid with her arm awkwardly raised slightly and her hand fell limply into the cradle like basket beside her.
The baby! How could I forget?! The memory of the child being brought into the world flashed before my eyes, as clear as crystal glass. Rosie and her reddened face, making her green eyes seem darker, with sweat glistening against her usually pale skin and hair plastered to her scalp. Her cries haunted me, they still seemed to echo in my ears, whilst her body endured natures most beautiful and painful process. Holding the child in my arms for the first time had filled my heart with a happiness that could not be explained with something as trivial as words. My blood seemed to warm beneath my skin, yet I was frozen in place. Seeing the small pink bundle in my arms I felt to big and clumsy for something so delicate. I was terrified that one wrong move would cause the tiny person to crumble and fall between my large finger. I felt as I would if I was holding my own son for the first and final time.
I understood why it felt so much like a goodbye. As Rosie screamed out, bodies walked amongst us fighting for a bite. Lenny and Zak fought aggressively as Rosie lay helpless across the floor. Pale, pasty bodies had been given entry to our sanctuary by of our treacherous own. A traitor had lived amongst us calculating his attack and played us all for fools. God, I hoped he was dead. Tony's alliance with Dim had caused nothing but pain and destruction. Rosie and her son had almost become corpse chow, Lenny had lost a limp and Robert was dead. How could we expect a defenceless newborn to survive the world in its current state?
But what of the others? I remembered Jake, he had just made it into the van as I fell out. Emma must be okay, otherwise he would have never left her behind - dead or alive. That left Isabelle and Maria, along with the girls that had joined us. I hoped desperately for Isabelle's safety. She was so young and little and probably terrified. Her youth made her easy prey.
I knee that night's events that I would have to teach her how to defend herself sooner rather than later, it just seemed like I was robbing her of any chance of a childhood. I suppose childhood was out of the window for anybody now. My body cringed at the thought of teaching a little girl to kill so she could live. Angelic curls and sweet blue eyes the colour of summer skies, with each kill they would become shrouded in darkness in order the block the guilt and pain of regret. I knew it would change her as it changes everyone, as it changed me. From the first kill it seemed to activate a whole new instinct to survive; one that could only lead to bloodshed.
I just hoped that Isabelle would be able to hold on to the love and kindness she has in her heart and everything that makes her human. Although our mortality is humanity's greatest weakness, it's our emotions that drive us to survive. Of course rage and sorrow can take us in the wrong direction, it's love and hope that push us forward. Having somebody you care for or to fight for can the very thing that gives you the fight to survive. I needed to make sure she knows that.
I slowly push myself to a sitting position, careful not to disturb Rosie as she slept. My head spun. The dizziness was overwhelming as it took all my energy to hold myself up and not fall back to the ground. Even the darkness itself seemed to move to the beat of the throbbing pulse in my head. I reached to caress the crown of my head to find my hair was mattered together with a thick and sticky substance that could only be blood. I must have hit my head pretty hard, I think blinking away the dots behind my eyelids
We were some how in a barn. Through the heavy blackness I could faintly see the wooden beams that held the structure of the roof tactically and the thick planks that made up the walls. No wonder I could smell wet grass and manure; it was the combination of ageing animal waste and ancient hay. Suddenly, I was grateful to be one that had never been affected by hay-fever as a petite sneeze broke the silence.
Pushing myself to my feet seemed like more effort that it usually did, my legs wobbled weakly as though Bambi was taking his first steps and the aching in my muscles told me I was dehydrating. How long had I actually been out? Just as my balance had been regained a bright light beamed, the brightness blinding. My hand reacted before I could and rose to protect my eyes from the spotlight.
A voice chuckled, "bout time you woke up!" Lenny! He was okay thank god! " another day and I was going to get my own back and hack your arm off."
"Yeah... Sorry about that." I said sheepish, my hand rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. What could really say to a guy when you just severed his limb?
"Don't be, who needs hands anyway? Thanks kid, saved my life." He said groggily. Lenny sound as though he was caught between the world and sleep, with pain keeping him trapped in a merciless limbo.
My stomach tightened knowing that I was the one that had made the decision. It was that or die, but in the end it was not my decision to make and now he just learn to adapt. I may have saved his life, but how long for? Had I only prolonged the inevitable ?
"How long was I out for?" I asked curiously.
"A good few days, you hit your head pretty hard by the looks of things. But I've been out cold too. Only woke up this morning." He sighed, before adding with a child like grin. "Though, I was slightly pissed to find some inconsiderate bastard had cut off my arm."
"You still chirping on about that. Get over it already." I winked in good spirits.
It was good to see Lenny was okay. Well, as okay as he could be as a fresh amputee. I could see the pain in the contortion of his face, though he tried valiantly to keep it hidden. Anybody that was unfamiliar with Lenny would be unable to tell that anything was wrong. His bravery was admirable. He had been bitten by death in its cruelest form and was now in a new world of insufferable pain, yet he plastered a smile on his face. Lenny was any man's hero.
He also had the good will to fill me in on what happened. Tony and Dim had been working together for God only knows how long; for a reason I couldn't find. Dim had been the cause of Tony's son's death, yet he was all to willing to work alongside him to screw us all over. The last anybody had heard of him, Howard had tied him to a classroom chair just as the teeth swarmed in. Howard had only just enough time to escape. I think it was safe to assume that Tony was dead. How could anybody survive that? I hoped he was dead anyway, he deserved everything he got.
There wasn't much more to report that I didn't already know. Robert had died, Lenny had obviously been bitten and then Zak had a close call after I had managed to fall from the van into the midst of the dead.
Apparently two or three bodies had been about to rip into me, but I had been too dazed from the impact of the ground to notice, until Zak decapitated one body and sliced his blade through skulls of the others. Howard had jumped from the van to bring me back to safety whilst Zak continued to fight off the incoming Teeth.
There had been no other deaths or casualties. The girls at the back of the building had little trouble as the dead had been let in at the front, they did have the odd set of Teeth that wandered from the woods, but it was nothing that Jake and Robert couldn't handle. Alex and Colette had been poised to shoot behind them of the problem escalated.
Isabelle had been well taken care off. It was comforting to know that Isabelle would be in loving hands if the worst was to happen. The group would take care of her. Rosie would be the perfect mother figure for her. Emma and Jake like over protective older siblings, with Lenny like a distant estranged uncle. Howard and Maria would be the mature ones of course, role models of sensibility.
Once everybody had regrouped, we headed east as planned and found a barn for temporary shelter while we all recovered. It seemed half of the crew was out of action with two of us unconscious, Rosie had just given birth and the others grieved for our fallen friend. I hoped he was with Nancy somewhere; somewhere better than here.
But once again our group had been caught unprepared and now paying the price. It seemed fate laid in favour of all who crossed my path, with theirs evil deed allowing them the pleasure of survival. I never seemed fair.
A heavy burden laid within me. I felt as though the misgivings that had been dealt amongst the group were no fault other than my own. The group was thriving before I arrived, with a secure site and a method for food - the animals and crops back at the school must be nothing more than mangled mess and flesh, they're would be nothing to salvage. Just less than a week after my arrival two members were dead and the whole cohort had been forced to evacuate their haven.
Yet it was not I who had pulled the trigger on Nancy or Robert and it wasn't me had betrayed the trust of the entire group. It was just a matter of bad timing, as always. So why did it feel like the whole situation was all down to me? I felt like I had signed everybody's death sentence.
That's the funny thing about coincidences; they always catch you by surprise, leaving you fighting for breath and then allow you to take the blame without interjection. A coincidence was just fate in disguise.
So I asked the question that toyed with every bodies mind, but we're to afraid of the answer. "What do we do now?"
"We survive."