The Little Mermaid umm Merman

Friday

His phone alarm went off at six, waking him from disturbing dreams involving mermaids and Lan WangJi. "I should stop being 'friends' with him," he groaned. After more than half a year of deliberately not looking at Lan WangJi's social media presence, he'd slipped and now... he was fucking dreaming of him again.

High school had been such a messy time. Conflicting messages bombarding his brain. At night, he would 'read' the girly magazines furtively passed around the dorm rooms; those girls were so fucking hot! And he'd get the normal, healthy, response to seeing pictures of naked women and have to go do something about it. He'd also have the normal, healthy, dreams about those women, and wake up having to wash his underpants. But then, he also found himself looking at his teammates: mostly naked, sleekly muscled, young male bodies wearing skin tight swimsuits, and dripping wet with pool water. Or worse, completely naked in the showers after a meet or practice, their entire bodies, wet and soapy, available for his viewing pleasure and have to go do something about it. And then there was the gorgeous, and clothed, Lan WangJi who was the star of far too many dreams.

He'd been taught that boys were supposed to like girls. And appreciating the male form was for art class. He wasn't supposed to have wet dreams about kissing boys, Or jack off to memories of them standing naked in the shower. It wasn't that he didn't know about homosexuality; there were enough of the, mostly younger, students who would be sent to the infirmary for bleeding where they shouldn't. And others who just had trouble sitting in class because their asses were sore. And hushed whispers as to how they got that way. It was just understood that these were the results of being sexually frustrated with no women to release it with. So they made do with who was available. They weren't 'gay', they'd claim. Just horny.

It had become easier in college to understand why he was aroused by both women and men. So many of his fellow college students were so open about their sexuality and accepting of those who didn't fit into a neatly wrapped cis-gender, heterosexual box. It meant that dating a woman for a few weeks and then dating a man was accepted as nothing to be ashamed about.

There were, of course, those who tried to get him to 'pick one gender and be done with it!' But how could he pick between pressing his hard body against soft curves and being pressed against by another hard body?

Wei WuXian rolled out of bed and padded over to his coffee maker. "I love you, Mr. Coffee," he crooned as it started to make bubbling noises. While he waited for the pot to finish brewing, he threw bacon into a pan and whipped up some eggs and cut some vegetables for an omelet. Only when his breakfast was plated, did he allow himself to open his phone and check his notifications.

Xiandu: Good morning, Lauzu.

"What the fuck are you doing awake and on your phone at five-oh-five in the morning?" Wei WuXian hissed at his match. "Are you a Lan or something?" He shuddered in memory of being woken at the ungodly hour of five AM to the national anthem being played loudly through the dorm speakers.

Laozu: Good morning.

Laozu: Ur up early

Only a few seconds later, he received a response.

Xiandu: I had trouble sleeping. Did you sleep well?

Wei WuXian rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Are we really having such an inane conversation at six in the morning? It's better than waking up to a dick pic, but still."

Laozu: Yeah.

He took a sip of coffee.

Laozu: Coffee or tea?

This was a very important question.

Xiandu: Tea if it's brewed properly. Coffee in social situations only. You?