𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟑 - 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒

"𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐍. '𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐋 𝐈'𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌"

Aurelia had never felt so free before. The wind was whipping through her hair, the braid she did this morning slowly falling loose from the wind and constantly bouncing on the horse.

Aleksanders large body blocked most of the oncoming wind, a factor that Aurelia had appreciated in the morning when the wind still held a bitter bite. But now, as the sun bleared down and the forests and fields surrounded them, Aurelia wanted nothing more than to demand that Aleks let run beside the horse.

It was a silly notion, Aurelia barely reached the horse's navel and would be left for dust in a matter of seconds when compared to Aleksanders great black stallion, imported from some fancy breeder, only the best horse for the king's best up and coming knight.

Besides, Aurelia had scarcely left the castle grounds, only occasionally leaving to visit her mother's great aunt that lived in a small village near the castle. She wouldn't know left from right in any case.

Aurelia had thought Aleks's tales of great open fields of flowers and butterflies just that, tales. Even less believable were his descriptions of hidden lakes that glowed like gold in the setting sun or mountains that were blanketed in snow.

Aurelia had picked apples from the trees near the castle and spent enough afternoons in the setting sun staring at the river nearby, muddy and slightly smelly, that she thought Aleks was just creating fantasy landscapes to keep Aurelia entertained and filled up with hope.

It was rare Aurelia was allowed a day off, but the queen liked Aurelia's quietness and allowed her to have every birthday off. Aleksanders liked to take while he took them to his secret lake. He talked about saving all of his coins so that could leave the court and never come back.

As they lay on a blanket he brought, to the edge of the lake that seemed to glow in gold as Aleks had said. One of his arms was under Aurelia's head, and the other waved about in the air as he mapped out their house. It was going to be small initially, but he was going to build it himself, and he could simply add on rooms as life would grow in Aurelia's womb. Aurelia would only have to clean for herself and her family, and even then, Aleks offered to do it all if she wanted only to enjoy herself, spending her days in contentment.

At the time Aurelia thought it a realistic dream, one that would get her through the toughest days, but now it seemed to taunt her.

A family. Something that Aurelia had once craved so badly that she let all common sense leave her soul. A picture of a baby with Aleksanders black eyes and her golden skin would forever be in her mind.

In all her years with all her lovers, a baby never occurred, Aurelia made sure proper protection was used. None of her lovers ever had black hair, or starry black eyes, or that strong set jaw. Even if she had to murder a husband or two because of it, she would never have a baby that wouldn't turn out like the picture, it wouldn't be fair to the babe.

It was on the few topics that Aurelia looked at her emotions to override logic. The centuries had become lonely, and Aurelia had thought over many moons of a child that would keep her company.

A person Aurelia could expose all the best parts of the world to, a world she had to spend so long exploring alone. Money, which was once a problem so large Aurelia could t afford enough food to even have her monthly bleedings, let alone afford a child.

But now she was richer than most of Ketterdam's merchants. Years of research and practice, a few lies and manipulation, and a few wealthy husbands and left the multiple identities of Aurelia a very rich woman. A woman who long ago could have afforded a child could have given them an amazing life.

It wasn't as if Aurelia supported the silly notion that a woman needed a man in her life the adequately raise a child, Aurelia had seen her fair share of cases where forgoing the man part would've ended in a better result.

But Aurelia supposed the lowly maid, the hopeless romantic, desperate for domestic bliss would always live and dominate that part of Aurelia. And she would allow that piece of unbloomed hope to remain if only to remind herself of everything that once could've been.

Aleksander seemed determined to brush past so much of their history, to focus only on the good parts of their young love, to act as if he didn't betray Aurelia. To act as if he was a knight, mocking her with his daily bows and sprouting jokes about 'knights honour'.

Where was the honour in leaving her a 'ruined' woman? What had he thought was going to happen to Aurelia? Had he ever even considered it in those first few days? Perhaps even years? Or had he married that girl, placed that ring "that was only ever yours, only ever meant for your finger", and only begun to think about her once his wife had passed?

These thoughts that had haunted Aurelia in her first few years seemed to be storming back into her life, just like Aleksander, who has always done what he wanted with little consideration for those around him.

"Why care about who gets burned when you have the biggest fire?" One of Aleksander's favourite say songs from his mother, it should've been one of the first clues as to the lady who raised him and why he was the man he was.

Aurelia's bedroom in the palace was one of the connecting rooms to Aleksander's, blocked by a private hallway, with a room in between, meant to be a nursery. Despite the fact that Aleksander had been in charge for over half a century and that the previous Lanstovs had little luck in the love department and chose to spend their nights on opposite sides of the castle with any young children nestled anywhere close to the help and far enough that their cries could not wake the resting royals.

Why Aleksander hadn't transformed the room into something useful was another reason Aurelia added to the ever-growing list in her head about Aleksander's incompetence.

Every time, just like today, when Aleksander would call for Aurelia, forcing her to walk through that hallway, Aurelia felt that piece of her light up like a pyre.

Luckily the Ecplise games were starting at the end of the week, so Aleksander's time had been spent greeting foreign rulers and importing guests while ensuring his absurd levels of dramatics for the event were secured.

Despite Ravka's riches, why the man demanded gold fireworks was beyond Aurelia.

The last month had gone through quite quickly, and Aurelia only had a week left until her training became vital, and she would return to her old life.