Before I Loved Her (✔ Completed Book 1)

The Year I Finally Get Over Him

Vanessa

It was the end of October and much like my love life, the trees were barren. The grey sky and chill in the air only added to the hollowness I felt inside. I kicked at a swirling, flame colored leaf as I walked through the school parking lot with Addison beside me.

Always there right next to me. That's how she was. Even though I hadn't spoken to Matt in over a month, her allegiance remained with me. His name no longer passed through her lips and it was almost as if he never existed.

Except that the crushing pain around my heart reminded me every single day that he did. I ached to tell him about the latest page-turner I had devoured over the weekend or laugh alongside him until my sides hurt at the antics of the cast starring in my newest reality show obsession. However, the part of my brain that refused to shut up in the dark of the night made sure I was aware that I had caused a rift that simply couldn't be fixed.

I knew that even if by some miracle Matt would hear me out, as long as I loved him, I would always run from my feelings and never be able to admit as much to him. When it boiled down to it, I couldn't give him what he needed so it was better to just keep my distance no matter how much it pained me to do so.

Not that he seemed to care. He hadn't confronted me about my feelings for him and seemed to continue about his life like I was never anything special to begin with.

As we made our way to Addison's car, I subconsciously scanned the lot for Matt's Jetta. My heart sped up when I spied the flash of red two rows over. The sloppy spray paint job on the side was always the telltale sign that it was his vehicle I was looking at.

My blood pumped even harder when I realized that he was there as well leaning against the driver's door with his arms folded across his chest. He was fiddling with the drawstring on the hood of his sweatshirt as he talked to a red-haired girl. I still didn't know her name but she always seemed to linger within two feet of his vicinity.

He smiled as she ran her fingertips down his arm and even though I had no right to be jealous, all I could see was red.

"I'm thinking about getting one of those rhinestone frames to go around my license plate," Addison announced as she pressed the key fob to her Jeep. "But first, I want to get a custom plate. I'm thinking I'll have it say something like Queen Addie but I'm not sure how to spell it out. What are your thoughts, V?"

Geez, get a little closer why don't you? I narrowed my eyes as the girl who wasn't going to live to see another day if she didn't get her paws immediately off of my man, fingered the fabric on his jacket.

"V?" Addison followed my gaze scrunching up her face when she saw what I had been fixating on for the past couple of minutes. "Ew. What is she even wearing? Didn't anyone ever tell her that mixing pink and red is a huge no-no?"

She pulled my arm nudging me in the direction of the passenger side. "Do you want to get some ice cream," she asked. "I'm craving some rocky road."

Lowering my gaze to the pavement, I shook my head. What was the point? The hot tears that began streaming down my cheeks would just melt the dessert anyways. My friend leaned in to wipe them away with the pad of her thumb. "Don't cry, V. The guy for you is just around the corner. Senior year is our year. I can feel it."

I gave one more sorrowful glance at Matt as he and the fashion faux pas hopped into his vehicle. Senior year will be my year. It will be the year I finally get over him.

***

Matt

Vanessa hadn't spoken to me since that horribly embarrassing day on the bus. Of course she loves you, Matt. Isn't it obvious by all the affection she showers onto you? Scoffing, I tossed my book bag into the backseat of the Jetta. I should never have listened to Addison's bad advice yet again. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Despite what she had claimed, I knew that Vanessa didn't give a crap about me.