Saving private leechball

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we were getting ready for bed

Mike: Oh, yeah. *Chuckles* This is the life! 

(y/n): this spa hotel is the best!

Cameron: Yeah, but I feel A little guilty Looking at sam's Empty bed. I hope he's okay Over on boney island.

(y/n): i'm sure he'll be fine

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we were all currently having breakfast

Cameron: Ah, I've never seen eggs so perfectly hardboiled! The odds are ten trillion to one!

(y/n): this toast is amazing!

Mike: Maple? Bacon? Let's never lose again!

Courtney: It's not all perfect. Hey, Butler?

the butler comes immediately

Courtney: I've got a problem. 

Cameron puts the egg in his pocket

Courtney: This juice is about 5% too pulpy

(y/n), Zoey and Mike glance at each other conspiratorially and put some bacon in their pockets

Courtney: I thought you were supposed to cater to our every...

the butler hands her a glass of orange juice

Courtney: Oh! that was fast.

she glares at him suspiciously

Courtney: But I'm sure it won't be...

she takes a slip of orange juice

Courtney: ....perfect!

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Chris: At ease, soldiers! Let's all welcome back Exiled hamster... Sam! 

(y/n): Hey, Sam! How was exile? 

Sam: Aside from the blinding hunger And bear attacks, Pretty good actually. 

he then collapses

Mike: Don't worry, buddy! We smuggled you breakfast! 

Sam: You 'bots are Expert-level awesome.

he took a bite of the toast

Sam: Mmm! Maple bacon power pellets. 

Sierra: Courtney, What did you bring Sam? 

Courtney confessional: No one told me We were doing that! 

Chris: Welcome to today's experiment With your pain thresholds. *Laughs* Get ready For an ingenious twist On the war-movie challenge From season two. There are two weapon caches In the heart of this forest. The big one is filled With state-of-the-art Paintball weapon, And the little one Has a bunch Of cruddy old Paintball slingshots. Whoever gets there first Gets their pick, And then you've gotta pick off The competition. 

Courtney: Looking forward to it! 

Chris: You get one point for each Opponent you splatter. First team to six points wins. And one of the losers Will get a dishonorable Discharge tonight, Flush o' shame styles!

Heather: *Sighs* paintball again? Ooh! Original. What a twist! 

Chris: Oh yeah, that. One of the conditions Of my parole Is that I can't use Or be around hard projectiles Like paintballs. So... Instead, You'll be using... Leeches! 

Hamsters and vultures: *Cringe and groan, disgusted* 

Heather confessional: Leeches? Chris is really making us earn The million this year. Jerk! 

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