Blood Status || Marauders Era

Chapter 94|| Worries

"I hope you know more than I do. I came here to ask about this stupid mission that you are sending my friends on, my boyfriend. We have heard so limited knowledge, passed on by Amelia - to no fault of hers - and I find that it is not enough for me to be calm by. Why did you say it was a sufficient amount of Death Eaters and then only send five, young and impulsive wizards and witches to complete it?"

"Take a seat Miss Pattinson," Dumbledore asked. I did not move. "I have decided to only send those few on the mission for those reasons exactly. I have come to imagine that such traits will make it easier to complete the mission, their youth and as you phrased it 'impulsiveness', is what we need on this task. I also gather that three are married and three are in a happy relationships, yes?"

I nodded, scoffing at his reasoning, but he ignored this and continued to speak, "This attribute will convince them to stay unharmed at all costs, to be able to get back to the people such as yourself, Miss Pattinson." I laughed, he was using all of the people that physically could not bring themselves to give up, just so he could have more people fighting on his side. 

"You're using the fact that they have people who care about them as an incentive for their survival? That's a new low, even for you," I told the old man, laughing slightly as his eyes widened. It seemed that he finally realised how I had felt about his actions for the past year, never on the field himself, he had never experienced the things we had gone through, he had just sat and watched as we did all of the work.

There was a silence in the office as Dumbledore sat, his hands grasped together, his head seemingly drifting in thoughts. I was waiting for the old man to speak, he needed to explain himself, he needed to be grovelling at the Order's feet for the things they have done. He needed to be sorry.

"Miss Pattinson," he began, "I am asking for your cooperation."

"And I, Dumbledore, ask for many things but I do not get them. How unfair is that? I ask for safety, I ask for my friends and family to be safe, I ask for many fucking things, but I do not receive in turn. Have a good day Professor." With those words, I turned on my heel and walked out, through the large doors and into the office of McGonagall where I flooed home.

As soon as I stepped into my living room, I spotted Sirius sat with James, the two of them conversing in low whispers, probably about the mission they are going to go to in less than an hour. Noticing my presence, James broke into a grin, saying, "Where have you been Thea?" I didn't elaborate on my whereabouts but strode into my bedroom.

"As lovely as ever, isn't she?" I heard James say, and I nearly cried. It wasn't the first time that my friends had taken part in a mission, but it was only now that I had realised what a real threat the whole situation was. The only wizard that the Dark Lord feared was Dumbledore, and we didn't even have our old headmaster's protection. How was we supposed to stay safe?

Half an hour later, I heard the front door open and close and then I heard another noise. It was a knock on the bedroom door, and then a voice. Sirius. I opened the door hurriedly, and when I faced him, I nearly broke down in tears, I was going to miss him, there was no specific time the mission would last, and until he came back, I wasn't sure I could stay here on my own.

"Are you alright, love?" he asked worriedly. I nodded, not wanting to cause a fuss, also not wanting him to be distracted during the mission, it would seem dramatic to some, but we were in the middle of a war, worry is one of the only emotions that people feel nowadays. Well, worry and fear, and most importantly, anger.

"I'm leaving with James now, I just wanted to tell you," Sirius stated, and without a second thought, I pulled him in for a hug. A hug that I hoped would last centuries. I wished that we could stay in this apartment together, forever, not move an inch, for everyone to stay as they are, young, happy, alive. But that could never happen, and I felt him pull apart, patting my shoulder and walking out of the door to meet James down the hall.

After he was gone, I apparated to Lily, I couldn't bear to be on my own. It seemed that a lot of people had gathered the same idea as when I reached the front door of the Potter's house and walked into the living room, I saw many faces sat in front of the fire. Marlene, Molly and Alice were all sat with Lily, cups of hot drinks in their hands, deep in comforting conversation.

Alice noticed me first, and as she waved me over to sit with her, the rest of the women turned to see me and sighed in sympathy. I didn't mind this kind of sympathy, we were all feeling it, we had all been left behind by our partners, by no fault of their own, and Molly was left alone with three children and two twin babies. I felt for her the most out of everyone, the couple had been together so long, I couldn't imagine what she'd do without him. 

"Where were you? I asked James to tell you to come here as soon as he arrived at your apartment, but you never came, I was worried," Lily commented. I sat down and accepted the drink that Marlene had passed me, hoping that it would calm me after the talk with Dumbledore and the parting with Sirius. "I was speaking to Dumbledore."

"What did he say? Did he give you any more information?" Alice asked curiously. I shook my head, if the man had said anything of importance, the girls would have been one of the first to know, as it would ultimately affect them. "The old bastard never gives anything away Alice, he keeps secrets like a dead mouse that one," Marlene said, showing her distaste for the old man.

Molly winced at the choice of language but said nothing nonetheless as I was sure that she felt some kind of resentment towards him for sending out her husband. Usually, there would be details of times and the mission and usually, they would send both sides of the relationship, as that was something we had suggested as soon as we had joined the Order. But this time was different. 

"I don't want to go back to an empty flat," I confessed, staring into the fireplace. It reminded me of the Gryffindor common room, and that brought me back to the better days when the most we worried about was who our new DADA teacher was and if Lucius Malfoy had hexed another second year again. It took me back to happier times when the lot of us were all oblivious to war and what happened in them, no matter how many History lessons we took.

The fireplace also brought along some more sentimental value of our Animagus forms, and why my nickname was Ash. I had taken too many nights alone in the common room, staring at the fire and swirling my thoughts in my head, thinking about how Remus felt on a full moon or pondering my strange affection for Sirius Black. It was happy memories, happy but very painful to look back on.

"You can stay here if you like Athena, you're more than welcome to, even on a regular Tuesday. You're always welcome at the Potter's," Lily said, and I must admit, a tear fell from my eye. She sounded too much like Euphemia, and it was sad to say that I hadn't seen the woman, who I saw too much as my mother, for a while, I had spoken to her in meetings and gatherings, but our communication was very limited in the midst of a war.

"Thank you, Lily," I whispered as Alice gave me a side hug, resting her head on my shoulder, careful not to spill any of her drink. There was a long silence as the many witches in the room, including myself, fell quiet, there wasn't much to say, in fact, there was nothing to say. That was until Alice said, "Lily and I have some shared news, it's quite funny actually. Shall I?" The brunette looked to the red head, who nodded.

"We're both pregnant. The boys have no idea though," Alice laughed, the first laugh I had heard since the news of the mission was announced. Marlene's jaw dropped open and she held a hand to her own head, as if testing for a fever, Molly brought her lips into a wide smile, clearly willing to give tips on the stages of pregnancy. I, however, was not showing the same signs of joy and shock the others were.

I was prone to overthink. That was my job. So, when my two best friends tell me that they are pregnant in the middle of a war when both of their husbands are out fighting against Dark wizards, I was bound to think of the worst possible scenarios. With this, I plastered a smile on my face, my eyes not reaching the same set of happiness as the rest and continued to think. Continued to worry.