𝐈𝐕. Nessa x GN!Reader

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✿⠀title

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✿⠀title

Happy Never After

✿⠀tags :

#angst , #break-up , #unhappy-relationship , #emotional-hurt ,

✿⠀summary :

(Y/n) chooses to deal with how neglected they feel when they hear their girlfriend talk about the most important people in her life ;

✿⠀requested by :

AGirlFromTheStars

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    "...And now, for a final question before we wrap things up for today... Nessa. The beauty and strength you radiate have captivated the hearts of many of Galar's fine people. But your fans seem to think that you're shining even brighter than usual lately, and I couldn't agree more with them! You were practically glowing during that last Gym Battle, darling! So, tell us. What's the secret behind this impressive transformation? We're all dying to know!"
   
    The long-haired woman sitting on the three-seater sofa across from the host put her leg over the other and gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She possessed a certain elegance that made the audience stare at her in awe as they eagerly waited for her to reply.
   
    "Well, I wouldn't call it a secret, but I did change something about the way I do... Just about anything, really. You see, I've always given my all to my two careers, but lately, I've come to realize that working hard sometimes isn't enough. So, instead of just going through the same training routine with my team or giving my all during a photoshoot, I've been trying to think of ways I can improve in all the things I do, even the ones I think I'm good at, so that I never limit how much I can grow.
   
    "And as many of my beloved fans have noticed, the results have started to pay off. I feel like I'm an unstoppable wave and I'm more ready than ever to take over this year's Champion Cup!"
   
    The host nodded in approval, but couldn't resist the urge to squeeze just a few more tidbits of gossip about the Gym Leader's private life. His lips curled into a smirk as he spoke: "Well, well! That explains a few things! Tell us, Nessa, dear, did anything or anyone in particular inspire such a change in you?"
   
    Nessa raised a hand to her lips to partly hide — or perhaps, accentuate — an amused smile. She raised an eyebrow at the man and cocked her head ever so slightly.
   
    "Oh, my. I'm not sure I quite know what is it you're trying to imply there!" She laughed and the crowd did with her. "But I'll tell you this: there are many goals I've set for myself and I work so hard because I know I can achieve them.
   
    "However, I couldn't have come this far without all of the support I receive from my loving fans. When I get upset over something or when I'm feeling at my lowest, I remember the letters, the cheers and all of the encouraging words my fans send me every day and I feel a burst of energy suddenly rushing through me.
   
    "It saddens me to think I will never be able to thank all of you in person because you are what gives me the strength to move forward. I cherish you all in my heart, my dears!"
   
    "You've heard her, folks! The people closest to the Raging Wave's heart are none other than her supporters themselves! So, let's send her our loudest cheers and do our best to make her proud!"
   
    The crowd roared with cheers and praises for the woman until all voices harmonized in a single hyped chant:
   
    Nessa!
   
    Nessa!
   
    Nessa!
   
   
    (Y/n) couldn't bear to watch the screen anymore and with a click of the remote, shut the television off just as the camera began to pan from the audience to the Gym Leader's composed smile.
   
    They let out a frustrated sigh, the eighth that morning alone. In their trembling left hand was their phone, the screen lit up and showing a drafted text they had been writing and rewriting for several nights now; they gripped it harder to stop shaking from the anger, the bitterness, and most of all from the familiar sense of disappointment they had deluded themselves into thinking they could bear — it only made them tremble harder.
   
    They didn't feel betrayed. They felt forgotten.
   
    They had started feeling like that since they moved to Hulbury to be closer to their lover, the Gym Leader of the city. It took a lot of courage for them to leave behind their previous life like that, but they thought they would begin to build a future with Nessa here. And they did at first: the pair always chatted so excitedly about wanting to live together. The only thing stopping them was finding the right place.
   
    But then there were times when (Y/n) would just stop hearing from Nessa. They would get news of her due to her name popping up on the news over the internet, but never from her. At those times (Y/n) would count the days, mindlessly at first, just to see how long she'd keep it up. One day, two days, then three. A normal amount of time to wait to hear from your girlfriend when she's a national celebrity, they'd think. But then those days would become weeks and (Y/n) would lie awake in their bed, a hand holding their phone and the other at their mouth, torturing their nails, dreading each passing minute spent waiting for her to call and then feeling guilty out of fear of being unreasonably selfish. The morning after they would always call Nessa first and thus break the long period of silence.
   
    And now, (Y/n) was thinking back to all of the times Nessa had made them feel insignificant like that. Like when she forgot to tell them she'd have to go to Kalos for a fashion show. Or when she forgot they had set a date to go look at that nice house they were thinking of buying. They began to feel nauseous as they started to realize that if it wasn't for them reaching out all the time, Nessa wouldn't care to contact them at all.
   
    (Y/n) sobbed. But it wasn't time to cry now. They deleted the whole drafted text and opened their girlfriend's chat, sending her a single, concise message.
   
   
   
   
   
    We need to talk. Let's meet at your place tonight.
   
   
   
   
   
    The sun couldn't set sooner that day. (Y/n) chose to move a little before dinner time, when Hulbury's streets were still bustling with life. They hoped to blend with the crowd as they made their way to Nessa's apartment, though they knew full well they didn't need to bother: they were seen in public with Nessa so little that people hardly knew who they were.
   
    But they weren't doing it to protect Nessa's reputation or anything like that. No, they were doing it for a different reason, an illogical one they had buried deep in their heart in a pained attempt to suppress it completely. Whereas their mind was set on meeting Nessa and had accepted the inevitable consequences such a meeting would bring about, the truth is that their heart still hoped for a different outcome. So, if they could just move along with the masses, get their head set on something else, or the place they were meant to go mixed up with another, their heart would stop aching at least for a couple more hours.
   
    In other words, they were hoping to forget about the problem. It's how they had managed to cope for so long with the fear of having been forgotten by the one they loved. Only, this time reason won over feelings and they walked as in a daze until they reached Nessa's front door.
   
   
    (Y/n) took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. They were sure their heart was palpitating just minutes before but as they rested a hand on their chest, they could feel it was eerily calm now. Nessa's muffled voice could be heard coming from the inside, faintly at first then higher in volume as the woman got closer to the door. (Y/n) couldn't quite make out what she was saying but something in their gut was telling them it was related to her work.
   
    The woman opened the door, smiled at (Y/n) then made an apologetic face and pointed at the phone she was holding to her ear before turning tail and heading back to the living room.
   
    (Y/n) had guessed right.
   
    "...Hi, Nessa," They muttered quietly to no one but themselves as they closed the door behind them. They let out another sigh and slowly walked to where the Gym Leader was sitting, a tiny smile forming on their lips as they remembered one time when they read to the woman on that very couch and she softly dozed off, her head resting on their thighs.
   
    Nessa was genuinely smiling as she chatted with the person over the phone. She was in the bloom of her career, enjoying all the bits of attention she was getting from sponsors and the like now that all the hard work she had carried out as both Gym Leader and model had helped her gain a huge boost in popularity. (Y/n) sat next to her and cocked their head, longing to meet those baby blue eyes that once looked at them with a special tenderness: they only saw the gaze of a beautiful woman brimming with determination and nothing more. And despite how torn (Y/n) was feeling inside, they still didn't want to trample that woman's precious smile or see that passion dissipate.
   
   
    "...Yes, I understand. I'll think about your offer and I'll call you back tomorrow, first thing in the morning... Yes, thank you... Oh, that'd be perfect, actually! Ok, then I'll ask my manager to schedule a meeting for tomorrow. Goodbye!"
   
   
    Nessa finally put down the phone. She closed her eyes and breathed out slowly before tilting her head towards (Y/n) with a smirk. "They asked me to model for a new fashion magazine. And they even said I could pick my outfit from the stylist's new collection personally! Can you believe that!?"
    The woman pressed her head on the back pillow of the sofa, sighing in relief. "It's wonderful. Everything has been going exactly as I hoped it would go! I couldn't be happier."
   
    "That's great to hear, Nessa." (Y/n) swallowed down the words they actually wanted to say and felt a sudden pain like there was a tight knot in their throat.
   
    Nessa nodded, her gaze flashing from (Y/n) to the screen of her phone which was occasionally lighting up with a new notification. "And what about you, love? How's that project you told me about coming along?"
   
    "...Ah, that... I had to put it on hold, actually..."
   
    "I see, I see..." Nessa hummed quietly. Now she had started typing a text, a long one at that.
   
    (Y/n) had had enough. "Nessa!" They called, taking the phone from her hands and gripping it hard. The woman opened her mouth to protest but her offended expression quickly changed when she saw their lover's wet eyes. They had a mind to throw the damn thing on the ground but they settled with placing it on the coffee table, face down and away from her reach.
   
    She looked mortified now. "You're right... Sorry... It's my work, though..." She muttered the last part quietly.
   
    "See? This is what I wanted to talk about!" (Y/n) was leaning forward, their elbows on their knees, and had their forehead pressed against their entwined fingers. They choked a sob as best they could. "I— I can't do this anymore, Nessa. I'm tired of feeling like this, like I mean nothing... Like I am nothing...!"
   
    The Gym Leader was at a loss for words and could only watch with panicked eyes as her lover struggled to keep their breathing steady and calm. "(Y/n), what are you—"
   
    "Shut up... Please, just shut up for a second..."
   
    (Y/n) had tilted their head upward and had closed their eyes, their hands now closed in fists at their sides. It was getting painfully holding back the tears and trying to keep calm like that, but they were at least thankful that Nessa wasn't rushing them to talk. When they opened their eyes again, they slowly set their gaze on the woman. She had taken hold of their right hand and they hadn't even noticed; when they did, it still remained sealed in a fist.
   
    "Listen to me... Just listen, please." (Y/n) took one deep breath and swallowed, hoping that would stop the tremor in their voice. "I know how much your career means to you and I've always admired how hard you work for your goals. And all this time I thought— I thought you cared for me as you care for your work... But I see now that I was wrong. Because your work has always been irreplaceable to you, meanwhile I... I was just an extra, wasn't I? Something that was nice to have and that you didn't need to worry about!
   
    "Well, then! I guess you won't feel too bad if I end the relationship, because I'm done! I can't do this anymore!"
   
    Nessa drew a sharp gasp from the shock, her hands bolting to cover her gaping mouth.  "I, I don't understand... (Y/n), I love you! You know I do! Why are you saying that I don't care about you?" Her eyes weren't lying. She really did not understand what was going on, why her lover seemed to have had this sudden change of heart. The look in her eyes was filled with fear, not guilt. This only made (Y/n) feel worse.
   
    "You never bothered to call me. Or make time for me. Or drop by my apartment to see if I'm well or if something has happened to me! You're only there if I tell you to. But that's not how a relationship should work!
   
    "Do you know how scared I was when I moved here and I didn't know anybody...? My anxiety was  torturing me but I was so afraid I'd bother you while you were doing something important, I never asked for your help... Or have you never thought about it once..." (Y/n) shook their head and let out a pathetic sort of chuckle.
   
    "(Y/n)... I— You never told me you felt like this! You always seemed so cheerful so why? Why? What happened?!"
   
    "I never told you because you were never there to listen, Nessa!"
   
    (Y/n)'s voice was hoarse and they were too exhausted to shout. Their words didn't come out with anger or spite: they were the truth being exposed, as the truth often is, in a factual, unsympathetic way. (Y/n) saw Nessa's lips move but it was as if their ears had hardened to the sound of her voice; soon the woman's whole features mixed together into a blurry mess as (Y/n)'s eyes began to well up with tears. They hung their head low and cried silently, releasing all of the hurt they had been carrying inside for so long.
   
    It took a while for all their tears to dry up and once they did, they began to feel their puffy eyes sting. Nessa, who in the meantime had hugged their arm, was muttering about how sorry she was in a frightened voice.
   
    "I... I'm sorry... I think— I think it's best if I leave..." (Y/n) stuttered, looking away when Nessa raised her head. She said nothing and quietly moved her arms away, but (Y/n) could feel her eyes watching their every movement as they got up from the couch. They imagined they were desperately pleading for them to stay.
   
    It took a while for Nessa to snap back from that sort of trance she had fallen in. "Please!" She cried once she had reached (Y/n) at the front door. "Please, don't leave! I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I— I promise I'll change! I'll change for you, (Y/n)!" She had taken (Y/n)'s hand in hers, but her hands were shaky and her grip very weak.
   
    "Oh, Nessa..." sighed (Y/n). It took a lot of strength for them to finally meet the woman's gaze. "You are like a star. You burn so brightly and bring warmth to everyone around you, and that's a wonderful thing. But in doing so, you also end up hurting those that get too close to you.
   
    "Nessa, I'm not trying to tell you that you must change. You have to decide that for yourself. But if, in the future, you'll love another as much as you think you loved me, remember these words I've told you. Before you melt away their heart as you did mine..."
   
    (Y/n) gently moved their hand away from the woman's trembling grip. They adjusted a strand of her silky black hair behind her ear and took one last tearful look at her face, still beautiful like an angel's despite the complicated expression that now burdened it. They stepped out slowly but hastily shut the door behind their back before Nessa could finish calling their name. They stood still, hands shaking at their side; had they heard the fear in the woman's voice, it might have made them change their mind about this whole ordeal.
   
    On the other side of the door, Nessa was kneeling on the floor, her eyes vacant and dim, but they seemed to come alive as the weight of the break-up began to settle down within her heart. She moved her hands slowly to the sides of her head, then grasped her hair as hard as she could before breaking down into a turbulent cry.

 She moved her hands slowly to the sides of her head, then grasped her hair as hard as she could before breaking down into a turbulent cry

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 15, 2022 ⏰

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