Heir of Deception

Chapter 31

Della steps fumbled just slightly but it was enough for him to notice her.

"Oh, Della, I was looking for you." Fenrys said rubbing a hand on his neck.

It was unusual to see the male act so hesitant and it threw her off. Any plans of teasing him were abandoned as she awkwardly said, "yes."

Della fought the urge urge to runaway again.

"Listen I uh... I am extr-"

"Let's talk in my rooms." Della interjected quickly. This awkward conversation did not need to happen where someone could over hear them.

Fenrys nodded and opened her door stepping inside and holding the door open for her. Della was greeted with a pleasant fire in the hearth. Winter was nearly in full swing and so fires were kept nonstop. She lit a couple lamps and settled in on the couch opposite Fenrys who was still looking pensive.

"Della, I apologize . I don't know why I didn't knock but it was wrong of me. I'm sorry I humiliated you like that."

His eyes were sincere and voice warm and steady. Despite all his swaggering Della was again reminded of how sensitive he could be. She had heard whispers of how he had taken the blood oath to protect his twin brother from Maeve and how he had broken that same blood oath, risking his life, to protect Aelin. She'd also heard whispers of what Maeve had forced him to do and knew from watching him that the male had a deep respect for other's privacy and boundaries. He would likely feel this guilty even if she was fully dressed when he'd barged in.

"It's alright. It's not a big deal...I just jump scare easy." She added a half laugh at the end as an attempt to ease some of the heaviness.

Fenrys didn't acknowledge her dismissal of the incident and merely said, "it won't happen again Della." There was a severity to his tone that suggested there was more he wanted to say. His mouth hung open just a touch and she could see him thinking about whether to continue or not. Fenrys cleared his throat, signaling his wasn't going to continue.

She reached across and gave his hand a gentle squeeze, at a loss of what say. She cherished his friendship, teasing included. But this moment here was what she imagined made him invaluable, desirable even.

No! Nope, stop.  Della thought to herself, he was here for something serious and earnest not a fleeting crush and senseless attraction. Della told herself this every time she had these thoughts but for some reason she could not stamp out her feelings. It was because she was always around him. Before, the men and males she interacted with only came around occasionally for the rare herbal medicines she and Annore offered, so she could easily shut out any feelings and move on, but with Fenrys she as around him nearly every day. And he was so charming and handsome, moments like this where a depth tinged the interaction made it especially difficult to deny any budding feelings she had.

A blush stained her cheeks,  she had to break eye contact and turn her head, but she knew he saw. Knew he was probably deciding whether to tease her or not. Instead he stood, gave her a chaste kiss on her temple and bid her goodnight.

—-

Fenrys had left hours ago but he hadn't gone far. Instead taking up his usual post of sleeping out side her door, Della had debated throwing out a blanket to him in the hallway but she suspected they both would prefer to pretend that he wasn't sleeping outside her door. Della did know for certain that her father was unaware, how he missed it she didn't know but if Fenrys hadn't announced his self imposed post she was inclined to also just let it be.

True to habit from these past weeks she had been unable to sleep. Anxiety and nightmares often chased her from her bed where she instead would study either history or military tactics or whatever it else she had begun to anxiously obsess over for the night. Tonight's obsession was the trade deals that Aelin and Rowan had finalized. They would be leaving in the morning to go ensure everything went smoothly, a part of Della had wanted to go with but another part of her had this feeling that if she left the castle something terrible would happen to her. She knew that this was just another irrational fear she had but she was unable to shake it. Della told herself that next time she would ask to go with, if only to prove to herself that she was wrong and that she was both safe and capable.

Della continued to pore over the document in front of her. Della was shocked by how much Terrasen was conceding in this deal. While they weren't inherently at a disadvantage it still was a more favorable deal for the merchants. It reminded her yet again of him much Terrasen had suffered in recent years and that they were still a weak nation trying to rebuild themselves. It was a shocking contrast to Doranelle. The Fae kingdom was exceptionally powerful even with the sudden change of ruler this past year. As much as Della hated to admit it Maeve had created a stable economy and peaceful land for her people, and Della's own father had helped with much of it. It gave her hope for Terrasen that between him and Aelin the people were in capable hands.

Despite being the heir to Doranelle (Aelin in no uncertain terms had forfeited her claim to the throne, saying she would cut off her own feet before ever returning to Doranelle), Della found she preferred studying Terrasens history. The Fae's history was just so saturated with Maeve and while Della had never suffered at her hand directly in the way her father, mother, Aelin or Fenrys had, she still had a healthy fear of the Valg Queen and had to fight the urge to cringe each time she read her name. Della hoped that Sellene got married soon, or at least had a daughter soon, the thought of ruling terrified her in a way she couldn't express. To discover she was a princess was distressing, to be a queen may actually be her worst nightmare. As much as she hated to admit it Della liked be liked, at least in the bland way she hoped no one hated her. Yet, to be queen meant at times sacrificing friendships and friendliness in favor of what was best. Della had witnessed Aelin do it many times and had a deep respect for her because of it. Della doubted she would ever be able to have that level of confidence much less arrogance that made Aelin such an effective queen.

Della felt her eyes growing heavy and didn't fight terribly hard to keep them open. Della would set up her studies on the couch in the front room of her quarters. She knew she would be foolish to try and avoid sleep, how damaging that could be to her health and she tried to put herself in a comfortable enough position to be able to fall back asleep even if her nerves would not let her. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't. The nightmares were becoming a growing problem though, even if she could get to sleep it was an uneasy fitful sleep. Della had spoken to Lysandra about the issue and she'd recommended a sleeping draft to help her. Della supposed that she was right but she was worried that it would worry her father. She worried that the healers might report it to him, he had just begun to relax and Della didn't want to ruin that. She knew that he was aware that she was still a bit jumpy but she didn't want him to think that she was getting worse. Because she wasn't, she just couldn't sleep.

Della huffed a sigh, she was being ridiculous, what kind of person worried about worrying people. She really was just a walking mess of nerves. She set her papers on the end table and rolled onto her side. She hoped sleep would find her and that nightmares would not.

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Hi all! I hope are enjoying fall!