Holding On

~ • Chapter 6 • ~ Bad Decisions are the Easiest Ones to Make

I Didn't Go to that party with Jenna.

She asked me about it the next day, and I said I was too tired. I used the same excuse when she invited me to another one that next night, but after the third time, I had to think up a new escape route.

I told her my dad wouldn't let me go out when I had work in the mornings, even though he'd never said so much as a word about it. Plus, he'd seemed to be feeling guilty around me lately, like he'd regretted our fight, so I could bet he would probably let me go anywhere just so I would warm up to him, or whatever. Anyway, she suggested the weekends instead. "Those aren't good either," I said, "because they're the only days I have to catch up on rest." She'd given me a funny look and replied with, "All work and no play makes Charlie a dull girl," but then she left me alone about it for the rest of the week, and we didn't talk about it again.

Until Friday afternoon.

"Geez, Charlie, you get to have a little fun, you know." She rolled her eyes at me, something she did to everybody and everything when she was feeling annoyed. When I thought about her sometimes, like I saw a fashion magazine or a glass of lemonade and she popped into my mind, this was always the expression I saw.

"I know," I said, shrugging, picking up a pink Strawberry Shortcake backpack off the carpet of the playroom. I read the name-tag and called out, "Meagan?" and a little girl with blonde pigtails ran up to me and snatched the bag from my hands. Then I moved on to the disastrous pile of toys - well, no, it wasn't really a pile; everything was just scattered everywhere - and began to straighten up what I could. I swear, helping with the Campbells was turning me into a neat-freak. Clutter had started to annoy me, and I found myself constantly straightening things in my room. I'd only been there for a week! "Partying just doesn't get priority right now."

I didn't say that, technically, I wasn't supposed to be partying. I wasn't supposed to be around alcohol or cigarettes or any sort of place that could influence me back in to bad habits. Aunt Susan had made that very clear to me, and, I'm sure, my father. But I could think of at least ten things I'd rather admit to Jenna before I would admit that, and all of them were at least minimally embarrassing. 1.) Once my mom had made me sing Karaoke at one of her friend's get-together's, and I had to sing Total Eclipse of the Heart. Which would have been embarrassing enough, but there was this really cute boy there, and after I was done botching the song he told me I sounded worse than his six year old sister in the shower. 2.) I had eight hot dogs at a friend's house when I was nine, and I came home and threw up in the middle of the night all in my hair and in my sheets, and they smelled so bad we had to throw them away. 3.) I'd seen Josh without his shirt on the other day and I walked into a tree. (Nobody had seen, thank god.) 4.) During my first kiss, I really had to sneeze, but I pulled away too late and a little bit got on the boy.

I won't say all the rest, but they're equally embarrassing.

"You seriously can't come to one party. Not even for two hours." Jenna helped a little dark-skinned boy put on his coat.

"Jenna," I said, and I sighed. Justin ran over to me and yelled in my ear, "THOSE ARE MY TOYS STOP TOUCHING MY TOYS YOU'RE GONNA BREAK 'EM," and I threw my hands up in the air, backing off. I didn't tell him, even though I wanted to, that he let all these scrappy kids play with his toys all day long, and they were bound to break something before I did.

"Just say you'll think about it," Jenna pleaded, picking up an Iron Man action figure and placing it into the bin next to her. "I don't have a lot of girl friends. I don't know why..."

Jeremy started cracking up behind me. I turned to face him and watched his skinny little arms clutch his stomach and his dark hair fall over his eyes. His face crinkled, and I smiled a little, because he was decidedly very cute. And he liked me, which made him cuter.