Shards

chapter 13

Chapter 13:

“I'm sorry,” I whispered, causing James to turn back around.

“It's okay,” he said, taking a seat beside me. “As long as you tell me what happened.”

I shook my head slowly. “I'm not sure. I was really tired and I thought I could just sit down for a couple of seconds. Then-then, I don't know... I just... I don't know.”

“Was it another flashback?”

I nodded, but said nothing more. Some of the things James didn't know wouldn't hurt him. I wished that someone had been kind enough to withhold the last memory from me. James opened his mouth like he was about to protest, but, at that moment, Karin pushed open the door.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, smiling at me kindly.

“Alright I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Nonsense, you must be starving! Micheal and I ate before you two came home, but I can heat you two up some supper.”

I looked over at James and he nodded, but I had the sense that our conversation wasn't over.

“Great! I'm starving!” I said, accepting the crutches Karin handed me.

Although the homemade lasagna was reheated in the microwave, I found myself complimenting Karin again and again, and not just to keep up appearances. There was such a sense of normality to it, that I began to feel slightly dazed. James and Karin carried on a conversation, barely ever asking me to contribute. When I'd finished scraping the last bits of sauce off my plate, I quickly got to my feet. If I was going to escape James's questions, this was the time to do it.

Looking directly at Karin, I said, “I'm really tired, is it okay if I go up to bed?”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Karin ran up beside me. “I'll show you to the guest room.”

Smiling at her, I tried to convey my thanks. As I began to follow her up the steps, I cast one last look at James. He was looking at me through narrowed eyes, and I reminded myself that his questions were inevitable. I was living in his house, after all.

The guest room was a little cluttered, but I was grateful for it. Leaning my crutches up against the computer desk, I took a seat on the double bed. Karin turned to leave, but she held up a finger like something had just occurred to her.

“Wait right here, I'll be right back.”

Seconds later, she returned carrying a note book and pencil.

“James told me to give these to you. You're supposed to write down your dreams, right after you wake up. I guess we sort of missed one, but it's okay.”

I breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. Maybe James had decided to leave the shower incident alone. From now on I was going to have to sensor my memories, even from James. Hopefully the unspeakable thing wouldn't come up again, but I would have to be careful what I told him.

Taking the book from her, I said, “I'll try, but they fade pretty fast.”

“Just do the best you can.”

Setting the notebook on the floor beside me, I pulled the blanket over my legs. Out in the hall, a shadow flickered across my field of view. It was much to tall to be Micheal's, which could only mean one thing: James was listening. He'd said in the hospital that he wasn't afraid of me, but here, among his family, I wondered if he'd began to change his opinion.

“Good night,” Karin whispered, pushing a stray strand of hair away from my eyes.

“Night.” I smiled softly and turned to my other side.