Shards

chapter 37

Chapter 37:

Tatiyana had saved me, more than I'd realized at the time. When I'd seen Lukas again, in my fragile state, I snapped. When the guards finally opened the door of the airlock like space, I'd been acting on nothing but instinct. I was prepared to fight, no holds barred. No life mattered but mine. The guards must have seen that reflected in my eyes, for they seemed to realize what a bad idea it was to back me into a corner.

The door behind me slid open, and I backed away. Over the coarse of panicked, yelling voices one stood out to me: Julian's. At that moment it was so childish, as he yelled my name, tearful almost. Where had he been? Where had they all been? How could I have been so stupid? I couldn't trust anyone but myself.

When I was finally dragged into the infirmary—catatonic—the whole Compound was in an uproar. Doctors, people from psy-ops, guards; they all came in to ask me questions. I didn't say a word. The Compound was full of cameras, and we'd been so loud. They knew and they'd turned a blind eye. Let them do what they want to me. They weren't taking anything else of mine, not even a single minute of my time.

After all attempts failed to get through to me, they did the only thing they could think of. They sent me back to my room while they figured out what to do with me. All the sheets had been thrown on the ground, and Audrey paced back and forth, freezing when she saw me standing at the door. I did eventually break down and tell her, and her face froze over like a sheet of ice; emotionless, a perfect mirror of mine.

She banged on the door until the guard let us out. The poor man was obviously overwhelmed by the situation. She dragged me to the self-training area, and told me to sit down. A crowd quickly began to gather around me.

“Take one step closer and I will break your neck.” Audrey stuck her face an inch from that of a boy who'd come a little too close.

He did not protest, and the entire crowd took a few steps back. I wished they would all go away, even Audrey. I must look so pathetic right now, and all the staring eyes just made it worse. Where was Ian? I couldn't decide if I wanted to see him or not. He would feel my pain in all its force, more than even Audrey could, and seeing him hurt would just make me sicker.

“Get the fuck out of my way!” Dale's voice was dark, hair raising.

It almost brought a smile to my face, seeing how much they really cared. Julian was beside him, the panic still in his eyes. They shoved through the crowd, seeming not to care about any of the bystanders. Dale even pushed one girl so hard she fell to the ground.

“Jayls, what happened?” Julian crouched down beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I was calmed by the site of him, but there was something about his hand touching me that made me freeze up. Trying not to offend him, I scooted away. It didn't work. Hurt crossed his face, but he stayed sitting beside me.

“I saw her come out of the shower.” Julian looked up to Audrey. “She was all frozen, then when Lukas came in she freaked.”

At the name I tensed, placing my head between my knees, until I realized how pathetic I must look. My head, where he'd hit me, throbbed painfully. The anger in Audrey's face scared me. Dale and Julian saw it.

“What about Lukas?” Dale asked.

“Jaylee.” Audrey looked down at me. “Do you want to tell them?”

There was no way I could say it again. Silence was my only escape now.

I shook my head. “No, you go ahead.”