Oct 20th 2022
How here I am again venting to a app people write sex story's on, how astonishing. I don't know what it is but just getting to write how I feel makes me feel a little better.
Parents feel like since were kids we don't deserve, we don't need such things as privacy. To the point to where you have your 13 year old daughter sleeping on the floor of the living room. Then you have all nerves to ask me "you don't like that gracious living room?" Of course I don't. It may be bigger then your average room but that's cause it's a living room. More then half of the space is taken up by pets and pet food, fucking recycling bags everywhere. This is not anything worthy of praise.
When you have your grown male friends come over you make me cover up and hide myself so you guys can hang out where they can see me. I know that I have it better then a lot of people but am I wrong to feel this way? At least I have a roof over my head and a place to sleep.
You will always get mad me for getting a book but when my little brother always wants takis or a game or he's so loud on the game you can barely hear your needle drop, you won't say a word to him. You get so mad at me for getting a book but want to get mad at me for being on my phone to much and tell me to read a book?.
If I had any chance to tell you I would I hate you so fucking much it hurts to pretend I love you it hurts to pretend I like you, I wish the worst of the worst apon you. I love my biological mother millions times more then I even think for you. Even if I don't have many memories of her, or remember her face by my own memory. I know she cared for me so much more then you do.
I fucking hate this pathetic life I live having to switch schools countless times getting ridiculed and bullied relentless no matter where I go, I'm always alone. The ugly kid who sits in the corner listening to music. People come up to me when
They want something from me or see I have something then take it by force. I'll never be the perfect little white girls everyone loves. I'll never be the perfect little happy girl they want. I'll never be the person I want to be. None of this is fair and I hate it. I want to go back to how it used to be. No matter how many A's I get or good grades I get they'll never care. I fucking hate everything.
I hate loud places, I hate loud people, I hate kids who think there special, I hate people who are popular, I hate people with false intentions, I hate everyone for lying to me and feeling like they have to lower them selfs for me, I hate teacher for seeing me alone and making me alone, I hate school for everything it's done to me, I hate myself for hating all these things that don't deserve to be hated cause I'm a loser who deserves to be hated.
