ONLY FOR YOU | Loki

CHAPTER 79: GLOWING GREEN STARS

    SHE DOESN'T DREAM. Not of Loki, not of some fantastical universe beyond comprehension. Not at all. She sleeps for 15 straight hours, and then she wakes up tired. But she doesn't dream.

     Not that night, or the next.

     All she hears is the quiet hum of the refrigerator and the sound of her thoughts. The kitchen counter was cold when she first sat down, but the part under her arms has warmed up a little in the last few hours.

     The padding of feet.

     The fridge opens.

     "Hey," Bruce calls as he rummages around, "did you buy butter?" She taps her nails idly on her ceramic mug.

     "Bottom drawer," she calls back. She hears the shuffling pause, and then the sound of a drawer opening.

     "Found it," he confirms. "Thanks, Liv." She hums, continuing to stare at the coffeemaker.

     He closes the fridge.

     His footsteps slowly fade away.

     Olivia raises her mug and takes a long sip.

     She looks down at her coffee.

     It's cold.

     She frowns.

***

     Her eyes open to a ceiling covered in familiar glow-in-the-dark stars. The room is silent. Slowly, she sits up. Loki is at his dining table, pretending to read a book.

     He's not doing a very good job at it, since his eyes aren't moving.

     "Good morning," she greets. He glances at her, but quickly looks away.

     "Evening," he corrects, his voice even.

     Silence reigns for a moment, and Olivia stands to look through her books. She gives up after the third time trying to read the same title, yet still comprehending nothing.

     "...you go first," she decides. There's a pause again, and she turns around. He's put the book down, and now he's just staring at her. His face is entirely unreadable.

     The silence drags on for a second. Loki sighs.

     "You ran."

     The words, short as they may be, are loaded. They fall into the air with too much weight to be the simple observation he'd like to pretend they are.

     "I ran," she confirms softly, taking responsibility. His face falls, something more defeated woven into the way he sits now.

     "I didn't expect you to run from me," he admits. She shakes her head.

     "Not from you," she whispers. He looks at her with a hopeless, empty smile.

     "Then from what, if not me?" he points out. "Why run, if not to escape me?"

     "I ran because..." she trails off. He watches closely, searching for signs. She gestures helplessly, not sure how to release the feelings when she's always kept them in a cage.

     "What frightens you so much about loving me?" he persists. "What could be so awful that you— you— would run from it?"

     "Because it could all blow up," she admits. "Because I could wake up tomorrow and we'd both be in cells. Because I don't love in half measures, and I think I'd let you kill me if you really wanted to, and that's—" She stops, but Loki is staring at her with wide eyes.

     "...do you think I'd ask that of you?" he wonders softly. She runs her hands through her hair.

     "No. Probably not," she sighs. "I just— I have killed so many people in the name of living to see another day. So just... knowing that I would throw all of that away is..."

     "'Probably not'?" he echoes. She makes a frustrated noise, not noticing him stand up.

     "I think you're missing the point—," she starts, only to be interrupted by Loki looming over her, boxing her in against the bookshelf. She stops almost on instinct, looking up at him in bewilderment as he looks into her eyes with the most serious expression his face can make.

     "I would raze Asgard to the ground, if it were a threat to your safety," he tells her. "I would invade Midgard tomorrow, kill everyone who stands in my way, if you only said you wanted to rule it by my side. There is no 'probably not'. Perhaps you don't love in half measures, but neither do I."

     "That's... probably bad news for everyone else, huh?" Olivia breathes, suddenly a little lightheaded. "Please don't invade again." He huffs out a chuckle.

     "Tell me you love me again," he suggests. She smiles, though it comes out a little stressed.

     "I love you," she murmurs, soft and sincere this time. He grins, and his forehead bumps into hers.

     "And I, you," he whispers back, as though he's been waiting for this moment.

     "God you're weird," Olivia chuckles quietly, her eyes still boring into his with too much love to be an insult. He chuckles back.

     "Only for you," he mumbles, pulling her in for a kiss at long last.