𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘 || ᴍᴄᴜ x ʙ99

ᴘɪʟᴏᴛ (ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ)

[Episode opens on a view of police officer Jake Peralta staring seriously into the camera.]

"So, this is your second son Tony?" Rhodey asked interested.
"Theoretically, I would be his godfather, right?" Tony rolled his eyes at this.

Jake: This job is eating me alive.

"He's not doing what I think he's doing, is he?" Peter said slightly excited. "What do you mean kid?" Clint asked. "I have done something similar about the fight in Germany. A short video with a few Voice-overs... it's pretty cool-"
"You did what?!" Everyone asked shocked.

[Voice-over continues over dramatic shots of Jake exiting a police car, crossing a street, ducking under "Crimes Scene - Do Not Cross" tape to enter a doorway, all in slow-motion.]

Jake (Voice-over): I can't breathe anymore. I spent all these years trying to be the good guy, the man in the white hat.

"Somehow this sounds familiar..."
Scott mused.
"Yeah, now that you say it..." Sam said, confused.

(Back to Jake, speaking in real time--)

Jake: I'm not becoming like them. (turns head dramatically) I am them.

"Pretty dramatic, isn't it?"Clint asked.

Amy Santiago (Off-Screen): Hey! What are you doing, weirdo?

[Wide view of Jake and Amy, showing that Jake is in front of a display of TVs in a store, his Image multiplied on the screen of each TV.]

Jake: I'm doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco. Or actually--(turns back to look at the TVs) ten of me are doing the best speech from Donnie Brasco. (smiles) What's up?

"Ah, that's why it sounded so familiar!" Scott said.
"So, your son is an idiot." Rhodey said matter of factly.
"No he isn't. Donnie Brasco is one of the best movies in history together with Top Gun." Sam said, trying to defend Jake. Peter raised his eyebrows and said: "I don't think Donnie Brasco was ever one of the best movies in history."

Amy: Get it together, man. Okay? (To TV store owner) So the store was hit about two hours ago. They took mostly tablets, laptops, and cameras--

"Can we please just talk about the fact that Tony's son is a detective?"
Nat asked in amazement.
"Yes, I know I am still shocked." Tony said. "Wait, my half brother is a detective? That's almost as cool as Bucky's metal arm!" Peter said.

[She's interrupted by the sound of an '80s hip-hop beat. The camera pans over to show that Jake, messing around with a keyboard, is the source. He guiltily presses a button and the music stops.]

Jake: Sorry.

Amy: (To TV store owner) I'd like a list of all your employees, whoever had access to the store. I'd also like to apologize for my partner. His parents didn't give him enough attention.

"Should I take this seriously?" Tony asked. "If I were you, yes. I would blame myself." Shuri said to Tony.
"Wow thanks princess."
"Always at your service." Shuri said with a grin.

Jake: Uh, Detective... I already solved the case. We're looking for three white males, one of whom has sleeve tats on both arms.

Amy: (skeptically) And how do you know that?

Jake: I had an informant on the inside. He's been here for years. Watching, learning. Waiting. His code name? (grabs teddy bear) Fuzzy Cuddle Bear. (turns bear around to show camera on the inside and grins) He's a nanny cam.