Author's note at the end.
Just the mention of having to leave Doe's house changed his expression for a less bright one. Right now, the only thing he was thinking was how you could stay here, live here and never leave again, just stay forever with him. But of course, as much as he wanted to, there wasn't much he could do as of now, at least without scaring you. The thought of you hating him was unbearable, and his chest ached with this idea. Besides there wasn't need for that, right? it was you and of course you would eventually understand how he felt and accept it, accept his true feelings. This line of thinking was what really kept him going, just imagining your acceptance of him as a whole.
You did notice how his smile faltered a bit when you said you had to go, this time for real because the 3 times prior he convinced you to stay a "little longer"; "just one more round" "this one's the last one, promise" and other lies that sounded too pleading for you to say no, after all you really didn't know how to, never learnt.
This time, instead of just saying you had to leave, you also added the explanation of why. It was almost as if you were talking to a small child whose favourite person was you, and he didn't want to let go.
-Hey look, I genuinely need to get going, like for real I can't leave my apartment alone for too long, and besides I'm a gross mess, I feel so uncomfortable without showering- before you could finish this though, Doe quickly interrupted, -You can shower here! There's a tub, a-and theres soap and towels and- -Doe- you interrupted -and what would I wear? My clothes are all vomited and shit right now, I just want to wash them- -I could...- He stopped this idea from coming out of his mouth. He could lend you clothes! Oh how precious you would look in his clothing, and you didn't have to worry about them fitting, after all he could change them into whatever size you wanted... But when he looked at you, about to say this censored thought, he saw your pleading eyes, almost asking, begging to let you go. That's when he realised, you wouldn't go unless he actually let you. You were far to reticent about your decisions, if pushed enough, all he knew was that you would simply shower there, put on his clothes and stay until you needed to work next day. You could stay there if pushed enough.
In his mind, Doe slowly cupped your face as he told you how you didn't need to leave, how he would bring and do absolutely anything you asked him for, even if it was as simple as just getting you a new change of clothes or as complex as making someone disappear without a trace. In his mind, he insisted you stayed and he gets to see you wear his clothes, observe how they would fit your beautiful form while he perceived your bashful frame of mind, timid of wearing what was his.
In his mind, you stayed, forever
And ever and ever and ever and ever.
But thank goodness his mouth was wiser than his mind, and thank the stars his brain knew what was best, because the wisest thing to do right now, was to let you go to your apartment.
-...no, forget it, I'm sorry...it's just that you're such a fun friend to hang around with and well...- right at that moment, the instant the word "friend" rolled his tongue, your whole expression softened, and you weren't as tense as you were before. Bingo.
Friend huh, he considered you his friend? Even after the way he saw you the night prior? After being a headache and making him take care of your drunk and dirty self?. You felt embarrassed, almost undeserving.
-hey, don't sweat it... How about we hang out some more tomorrow? After I finish my shift of course.- you saw each other almost all the time in the subway, but this couldn't be considered a hangout at all, sometimes you two wouldn't even talk during the travel.
His face lit up -Really?! Of course!-. It was one thing to be almost everywhere you where, to know where you where and with who. It was one thing to follow you from afar, only wishing he could be walking by your side, to be so aware of you while you were unknowing of him. But you had invited him to hang out, on your own, it was your own idea to invite him! Oh how could he ever say no?.
