To The Light

01

"The societal relationship between men dominating women in all known spheres – Patriarchy.

On weekdays, I wake up every single day, to sit on my study area. After class, I'm expected to do every chore in the house, and execute massive all-nighters for my academics 'til I pass out on my bed, to be a good chef so I would make everyone breakfast for the morning, and to be a doctor as a life profession. I am expected to achieve and fulfill different things in life. How should I act, dress, sit, and be. It's amusing to consider how chaotic your own home environment is in addition to how society is, as a whole already. Your supposed "home", home. What is home? People often argue that home isn't a physical location, but rather a group of people you feel at ease and safe with. The question is, do I feel safe with you?

I get degraded in my own house, in my school, in the outside world, daily. I've always been afraid to aim high 'cause I feel like I'll be scrutinized. I have experienced judgment and bullying for no apparent cause. To sum up my life, it's one hell of a ride I'd wish no one would have to go through. 

I was offended when one boy told his buddies that I was too frail to be the class president. Another guy sexualized me and claimed it was a praise that was phrased incorrectly One drunk guy forced himself towards me, trying to kiss me. Excuses, upon excuses, and excuses. "A drunk's mind speaks a sober heart." - stated by Jean-Jaques Rousseau. 50% of breakups and harassment have used the 'drunk excuse', but that is indeed not valid.

Regret and impulsiveness, quite the combo, isn't it? It's a thrill. The emotional numbing that makes boys feel better about being isolated is made possible by emotional apathy. The common justification for adolescent patriarchal misbehavior, "Boys will be boys." explains why their rage outbursts are often considered normal. It both produces the rage in them and then contains it for later use, making it a resource to exploit later on as they grow into men. This wrath can be used as a national product to fuel global imperialism, hatred, and oppression of both men and women. If boys are to grow up to be men eager to fight wars all over the world without ever requesting that other conflict-resolution options be explored, then they must possess this "wrath". 

To be a decent human being, cannot be determined by what your gender, physical appearance, race, status, religion, or ethnicity is – that goes the same for respect and responsibility.

To everyone, reach the moon without destroying any asteroids. Only then will there be pure peace and happiness." stated by Liana as she read her chosen contemporary issue essay in class.

"What a well structured essay, Ms. Velasco. Good job." stated by her professor.

As expected, Liana Velasco got another 100. Ay, ako pala 'yon hehe. Malapit na matapos ang 1st year ko as an ADMU shs student. That was my final essay.

After class ay hinintay ko kagad sila Kyra at Renae, oo magkakaiba kami ng strand. Si Ky ay nasa STEM at si Rei ay nasa ABM. Halata naman na kung nasaan ako, Hum. Kumain muna ako ng street food doon sa Katipunan dahil mukhang matagal-tagal pa 'tong dalawang 'to.

"Ay shet ka!" Pasigaw kong nasabi dahil may bumangga sakin. Tinignan ko siya nang masama, waiting for an apology, but he casually took a glimpse at me and kept walking. He seemed unbothered. Nagulat ako dahil sa reaksyon niya kaya sinundan ko siya para tapikin at kausapin. Lalo na't bago pa lang ang damit ko. Nakasuot ako ng white blouse na may konting ruffles sa sleeves, naka-black skinny jeans and plain white air force 1 na shoes.

"Excuse me?" Sabi niya nang itaas niya ang isa niyang kilay, halatang masungit. "Anong excuse me? Sir, you hit me and now my shirt is a mess" pasagot kong sinabi, still waiting for an apology. 

"What do you want me to do? Wash your clothes?" Hindi ako makapaniwala sa naririnig ko. Tao ba 'to o ano. Isn't apologizing a known response to this situation? Medyo nakakalito ha.

"What? Atleast apologize?" I confusedly said, not getting where his cluelessness is coming from.

"Uhh... Sorry Ms. ?" naghihintay siyang sabihin ko ang pangalan ko. "Liana, Liana Velasco" I confidently said. 

"Sorry, Ms. Liana. Liana Velasco. There, happy?" Arrogante niyang pagsabi, then he just walked away. 

Oh ano magagawa ko? Hinayaan ko na at umuwi muna ako sa condo ko para magpalit ng damit. Chinat ko sina Ky at Rei na magkita nalang kami mamaya o pumunta sila dito if gusto nila dahil pagkatapos kong umuwi at magpalit ay nakatulog kaagad ako. 

"Hoy!" Pasigaw ni Ky, bwiset talaga tong babaeng 'to kahit kailan, lagi na lang ako ginigising nang pagulat. Sayang naman panaginip ko, 'ganda na eh. "Ano nanaman, parang kakasara lang ng mga takulap ko." sagot ko habang pinupunasan ang malabo-labo ko pang mata.

"Soju night tayo hehe" pabebe niyang pagsalita saakin. Wala naman akong nagawa kasi mukhang andyan na rin sila lahat. 

Yes, silang lahat. Kyra, Renae, Olivia, and Madison. Aking mga pinakamamahal.