Wrong lies -M.R, D.M, T.N

26- Ignoring you

"You're on your own kid."

If following the reading guide (best experience), read chapter 7 WN before this chapter.

Song of the chapter: Better- Gracie Abrams (listen during or after reading)

Have you ever felt like an open wound, wandering around people, like they stare right through you and know every piece of your soul? Like your insides are filled with scars, the air is salt, filling you with pain. I don't know when I started to feel like this, maybe ages ago or this minute. But the part of me knowing and wanting to live is slowly fading away, and all that's left is a confused soul.

This morning I woke up feeling like I fucked up. I thought I had destroyed my life but what really happened felt even worse. Mattheo tried to talk to me, he tried to make things right, and all I did was run. I ran from my problems and acted like I didn't want to hear his words. But I did. I thought this group chat would be a great idea but now? Now I'm confused. Maybe I should have left from the very first minute. I didn't expect Mattheo to forgive me and talk to me that easily, and I didn't expect him to apologize. But he did, and here I am.

I should probably talk to Adrian about everything instead of feeling like this, but I can't. I can't always expect others to help me when I feel like shit. I have leaned against Adrian for years instead of taking care of my own problems, and I'm so fucking tired of it. I'm tired of myself. This morning after Mattheo texted me, I wished I was invisible. I wish I could escape reality and run to the book world, but I am stuck. I wipe away the tears on my cheeks, put my hair in a ponytail before a deep sigh leaves my mouth, and walk right into a hard chest.

"Are you okay?" Strong hands help me from falling to the ground, and I open my eyes, meeting the person holding me. Oh, fuck me.

"Daisy? I'm sorry I didn't see you there." That was kinda the point. I look down, not meeting his gaze.

"Can we talk? I know you said that you didn't want to "

"I haven't changed my mind." His eyes meet mine as I look up, and he looks sad.

"I'm really sorry for everything. I know I'm too late, but I wanted it said. And I mean it." I sigh, shaking my head.

"I don't care. I understand what you are trying to say, and yes, you did fuck up. I did, too, when I stayed in that stupid group chat, but it's over now, and I will leave, so please just forget about it. All of it, and leave me alone. He blinks his eyes a few times, looking at me with sad eyes before shaking his head.

"No, I'm sorry, but I can't let you just leave and let it continue like this. I'm sorry for what I did, but we can start over again and maybe-"

"No, we can't, Mattheo. I'm sorry, but I'm not what you think I am, and even if you fucked up with me, you don't want my mess in your life."

"What is that even supposed to mean? I know we hurt you, but we have stopped and-"

"So when you fall down a tower, but the pain disappears after a while, you are stuck with scars for life. You won't remember the fall every time you look at the scars?" He sucks in his lower lip.

"I'm the scar...." He whispers, and I nod.

"Forget about it, all of it." I leave his side, but his voice follows me.

"And if I can't?" I stop, but I don't turn to meet him. I open my mouth, but no words leave my mouth. Instead, I begin walking and leave the corridor.

M A T T H E O