fight for me

im back!!!!

hi my lovelies, it's been quite some time

2 whole months of time and i cannot blame you if u prob unfollowed or lost hope that i would update LMAO

but i am here to say that i am back and i am gonna be figuring out an update schedule.

a lot of stuff has happened in the last few months and it's been... a shit show.

i'll give you guys a quick little summary!

lost one of my bsfs bc 2 of my friends at the time manipulated me into thinking she was a bad person

those 2 "friends" spent a while manipulating me and ended up making my (ex) bf—love interest at the time—hate them😹😹😹

so he like cut them off and things were wonky between us for a day or 2 but it ended up being fine!
(well...)

so before that, i met this dude when i was in europe and he ended up doing me bogus too!

met the love interest(ex) in europe also but yk i didn't like him till after that.

anyways i cut off those 2 psycho friends, was kinda sad for a while, made amends w the friend i lost bc of the 2 friends i cut off.

everything was dandy! i had my friend back i was happy w the guy my other friends were great school was good i'm in therapy woo!

him and i ended up becoming more official (or so we all thought)

so for a solid month everything was amazing.

we talked for a few months before that and we were like dating for a month and then one day last week out of nowhere he makes a comment that implies that we aren't dating?

it was very small if i wasn't an overthinker it could've been easily missed.

anyways the days prior he was calling me his gf being very obviously dating like yk?

so i confront him the next day for him to say we should keep things the way they are—which was supposed to be dating but i guess not????

and that he doesn't want me to miss any opportunities w someone that can give me more attention than he can🤡

he was still kinda sweet but i could tell he wasn't himself that day or two.

anyways i'm super sad abt it and then the next day i kinda bring it up again bc he asks why i'm sad and then he tells me not to be sad abt the convo??

but he was also sad abt it the day before🤡

ANYWAYS

i was at work and he was w his friend and the convo started to progress to being less and less him and more someone else.

so im so anxious i don't eat all day, almost pass out, leave an hour early and go home to cry and tell my mom the story.

he ends up saying hours later after ignoring me bc he's w his guy bestie ( the friend ) that we never said we were officially in a relationship.

the lies.

he said it multiple times.

i left him on seen.

no contact for two days.

until he sends a video of him and his friend who prob influenced him to "play me" singing along to our song at a club/bar 🫠

i feel quite betrayed bc i never opened up to someone that's a man like i did to him and we both know all abt the others trauma and how he would get mad if i let ppl step all over me / im too nice etc.

and then he goes and he does exactly what everyone else does.

im sure he thought the drunk little video would solve everything and it would be all fine and dandy.

i posted a tiktok abt being single on my private story and he left both my stories the next morning🤡

didn't unlike my playlists for him tho or unfollow me or remove me or anything like that.

but yeah😍 that's most of that tea.

college is stressful.

im tired of being done dirty.

im not okay but i also am? it's weird

anyways this is why i haven't updated it's just been constant shit show after shit show im so sorry guys😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

BUT I PROMISE U AN UPDATE WILL BE COMING SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND FOR THIS BOOK AND THEN I WANNA SAY SOMETIME NEXT WEEK FOR HHMN.

i am focusing on things that made me happy again bc as takeoff said (rip) — i can't go out, sad abt no bitch, who me? takeoff never mad abt no bitch!

this is why i'm not straight.

i know i told him i'm bi but goddamn that didn't mean he needed to act like a bitch 😟

anyways i'm done yapping now i'm sorry besties

i'm getting my belly piercing this weekend!

my mom saw my cartilage and was not happy w me LOL

if u guys have any questions for me pls feel free to comment and ask i know it's been forever!!!!

i love u

i missed u

xoxo, meli

mwah <333