Ryan and I are at the wedding rehearsal. It's in one week, but all we are doing are repeating vows and how everything should flow. I'm informed by Mama that in two days we will have to have a proper dress rehearsal. It made me wonder what Ryan would look like in a suit. Probably pretty hot...just saying.
After our parts are done, Ryan and I are left in the lobby of the church (traditional wedding reception) to do whatever we want. For some reason whenever I'm left alone with Ryan I do some crazy shit. Or maybe that's all in my mind. I don't know.
"Ryan, can you help me with my lines?" I pull my audition lines out of my bag.
He shrugs. "Sure. What are you reading?"
"Belle," I say immediately. I've always wanted to be a princess, so acting as the bookworm princess out on stage would be amazing for me. Even if I don't like the color yellow.
"Got it," he flips a couple of pages before he tells me to, "Start."
We spend the rest of our time going over my line. I thought Ryan would be bored hearing me listen to the same lines over and over again, but he is quite patient with me, and even gives pointers on how I could change up my delivery of certain lines to make them improved. I'm impressed with his knowledge of this stuff.
"You should go out for the musical with me," I blur out before I know what I'm saying. Ryan pauses his mouth in the middle of a sentence about the last line delivery. He looks up at me with his mouth agape. I close it for him.
"I don't do musicals. Or acting. And I never sing." He says caustically.
Before I can say anything more, Ryan runs off again, not even handing over my script of excerpts. I stand up to follow him, but then Arthur puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, Jayce, I was wondering about Washington's sports program. You know, Ryan wants to get back on track with his cross-country and soccer group. Do you know the coach, or whoever I have to talk with to get him on?"
I shook my head; I did not know. But Arthur kept me with him for the rest of the time in the chapel, so I wasn't able to see him until when he arrived home. They barely exchanged a glance as he entered Mama's car and I joined Arthur in his.
***
When we return home, I am exhausted but happy to be done with the day. It was about 6:00 PM when I decide to check my phone.
Holy snap! Jason finally responded! I flop onto my bed with a stupid grin on my face like it's Christmas. I read the short message over and over again:
I see you over there. ;)
I try not to be confused, but it simply does not make sense. Of course, I remember the super secret spot from, like, middle school, but why would you write me a letter when you can text me our right? Either way, I run outside and find a balled-up piece of paper in the super secret spot. Safety is hidden and protected under a plastic rock.
I want to read the note immediately, but I take it inside, hiding it under my skirt as a super secret spot note should be kept. Old habits die hard I guess.
In the safety of my room, I rip through the letter:
Jayce, I am sorry I had to leave early. I did not mean to make you worry about me. Go talk to your brother about it.
-Jason.
Letting the letter fall to the side, I don't understand the message. Mainly the last sentence. So Ryan did have something to do with Jason going home early. Why he would want that, I don't know. He better have a good explanation. That's all I'll say.
***Ryan***
That was close. Dad would beat me if I ever got caught in the fine arts. "Makes you less than a man," he says. I don't get it either. It feels bad that I have to hide this from Jayce, but Dad seems deadset on getting her on his team, and that means I cannot trust her. But I have to trust her. Who else do I have? Nobody. That's what I have.
So I'll just play my sports and hold my tongue whenever Jayce wants more than just help on her lines. She's not bad at it, and she has a passion for theater. She could make it as Belle if I just help her. And I'll accept that accompanying role, as long as I get to stay with Jayce. She keeps it real with me, and that kind of honesty is hard to find anymore. I don't even know if I can be completely honest with myself...and these feelings I have.
I'm her brother; she's my sister; we are step-siblings. Well, not officials yet. Right now—at this moment–we are strangers with no official connection as a family. Our lines are blurred. And I don't know what to do with that information.
I'll admit it. Threatening that Jason Hayes kid was a little mean. But I'm not a perfect human being, right? I'm sure he'd understand. I just cannot afford outside forces messing up my plans.
Looking around my room I go for my bag. In a safe pocket, I know what I will find. I pull out my wallet and flip past a couple of compartments until I find a picture worth remembering.
"Mom..." I moan, blinking back the urge to cry. She was the only person I had, and then she had to die. Some fucking prick on the highway is too drunk to be on the damn highway and got angry at Mom and fucking slammed into her car like a besotted maniac. Mom died all alone on the fucking highway. And she fucking left me here in this God damned nightmare of a life. Fuck this shit.
