Ghosts of Christmas Past

Chapter Six

Walmart, despite being the very definition of homogenized commercialism, was still way too festive for her tastes. Was that the small-town effect? From the elderly greeter with the reindeer antler headband to the holiday music playing in the background, it was doing nothing to improve her mood.

Still, she ended up spending over two hours and three hundred dollars in the store. She'd gotten a sheet set with a matching comforter, a pillow, a set of knives, a ten-piece set of pots and pans from a brand she'd never heard of, a basic table setting for four, and a completely usable set silverware already in a plastic drawer organizer. She'd also gotten enough groceries that she wouldn't starve right away. Not bad for someone starting from scratch. But it was definitely not a good thing for someone without a job.

That was absolutely the next thing she had to do—find a job. She had no internet connection at the house yet and she couldn't keep using her wireless minutes, so she would have to hit the library. She scowled deeply. This was the ultimate worst time of the year to be looking for a job. Even her business degree would not help her if hiring was frozen until March.

Not that her business degree had helped her much, anyway. Everybody said, a business degree is solid. There will always be a market for people with business knowledge. But that didn't turn out to be true. When she first got out of college, the only job offers she got were for administrative roles. She was looking for something that let her be strategic, dynamic. She'd worked the first six months at a fulfilment warehouse as a department manager. But that was a joke. There was no support, no training, and the people she was supposed to manage all had more knowledge and experience than she did.

Then she'd bounced around a bit, as assistant manager of a boutique clothing store—little more than another employee, just one with keys—until she was hired as Department Manager of Women's Ready-to-Wear by Jake. It wasn't what she really wanted to do, and it didn't pay what she felt she should make. But she made friends with Mika and eventually started dating Jake and that was enough.

"It was not enough." She frowned out the windshield of the car and tried to navigate back home without making any wrong turns this time. "It never should have been enough."

She'd panicked and settled, that's what she'd done. She'd spent four years working toward a goal—a good job with good pay and good benefits—and then nothing. Nobody wanted her. And expenses were piling up. And so, she took whatever job she could get, just to be able to pay the bills.

"Just like now," she grumbled. She calculated she had enough money to last a few months without a job, if she were careful, but she needed to get an income quick, even if it was nothing she wanted to do forever. And she would have to really buckle down and make the money she had last.

As if on cue, her stomach growled loudly and painfully. Emily looked up at the sky. "Really, Universe?"

She pulled into a fast food restaurant, feeling only slightly guilty about the immediate negation of her plans. She told herself that she needed to eat to keep her blood sugar even, so it was more important to eat something now than to wait until she got home, brought in the groceries, washed the factory dust off her new pan and dishes, and cooked something. This was just practical and responsible.

Plus, she was only going to eat off the dollar menu, so the expense would not be great enough to really affect her budget. When you came right down to it, this was a pretty smart move. She would just hit the drive-thru and then be on her way.

Unfortunately, there was a sign on the order box. Drive-thru closed. Please go inside. It had a picture of a Christmas tree drawn on the bottom, as if someone thought that would lessen the inconvenience.

"Great. Thanks, Universe," she grumbled. Now she would have to go in and be tempted by all the sights and smells. How was she supposed to stick to her budget that way? She pulled into a spot and parked.

Inside, there was more holiday music, more holiday decorations, and more small kids than she would have thought there would be on a school day. Maybe those kids were too young for school? Who knows? She wasn't a good judge of children's ages. Jake didn't like kids and didn't want kids, so she never really thought that much about them.

She ordered her food and sat as far away from the play area as possible. There was a sign for guest WiFi and she pulled out her phone to check messages.

There was only one. It was from her mom. What time does your flight arrive?

"Crap." She put her head in her hand for a second. She and Jake were supposed to fly to Colorado for Christmas with Mom and Dad. But obviously, they weren't going now. She definitely wasn't going there alone. Not now, at least. They would mean well, but there would be too many questions that she didn't want to answer.

Her thumb poised over the phone. What could she say that she wouldn't have to spend forever explaining? She typed, Something came up. We won't be able to make it. Sorry.

Immediately, Mom shot back, What came up? Are you okay? Not coming this weekend? Or not at all? You need to call me.

Can't talk right now. Working. Call you later. She winced at her lie and put the phone back in her pocket before she got drawn into telling her mother the whole story. And how crazy would that look, sitting in the booth by herself, texting furiously and crying?

Still, it was a good thing to hear from Mom, anyway. It reminded her of the tickets. She could return the two round trip tickets if she hurried. That would be a significant amount of money. It could buy her a little time, in case he couldn't get a job right away.

"Hey!" A familiar voice made her look up. Leo was just walking away from the counter with a bag and a soft drink cup. He was smiling that stupid, sweet, boy scout smile as he approached her booth. "How are you doing?"

"Hi!" She felt her own smile and hated that he could snap her out of her self-flagellating mood so quickly, but couldn't do anything to stop it. "I'm good. Good. It's all good."

"Good." He nodded and grinned. "So, I take it you're out on your own free will? You didn't lock yourself out?"

"Ha ha." She tried to be offended, but her lips wouldn't let her frown. "I had to get some stuff."

"Good. Good." He nodded. "Settling in, then?"

"Yes, thanks. You?" Then she realized how stupid that sounded. Of course, he was settled in. He lived here already. There was no settling in. "I mean—"

He smiled. "I know. I'm fine."

She stared at him awkwardly, searching her mind for something to say or do that would be less awkward than smiling and nodding like an idiot and then asking if he was settled into a place he was already settled in. What came out was even more awkward. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

He held up his bag in answer. "But I have to get back. Let me know when you want me to transport that—"

"They're delivering," she cut him off. Then, because of the way he looked disappointed, she added softer, "I really don't want to put you out."

"Gearings?" One eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," she said.

"Hm," He nodded again, but his smile was slightly diminished. "Well, I do need to get back."

"Oh. Okay. Yeah." Her own lips turned down a little. What was that about? Was that disappointment? "See ya."

Oh my God. Again, with the see ya? What was that about? That was worse than the smiling and nodding thing. Did she hit her head or something? Is that what was going on?

He gave her a wave with his bag and then turned and walked out. She just sat there a moment, processing. Then she started to smile again. Good God, why was she smiling? What was going on with her brain?