I Realize. |l.s.|

VI

November 24, 2018

It's not that I don't enjoy my boyfriend's company, because that would be quite ironic, considering I'm dating him. It's just what he texts and when he texts it that makes me want to crawl into a hole.

Ryan: Sorry babe :( you know I didn't mean to lose my temper

Ryan: I'm coming over xx

It's okay, Ryan x :Louis 

And sry but my brothers here so now isn't a good time :Louis 

Ryan: No problem! I'd love to meet him

He's really protective :Louis

Ryan: Haha so am I ;)

Ryan: On my way

I'm not ashamed of Ryan, of course, but I know Zayn wouldn't really approve. Ryan seems like bad news on paper, and with first glance. It's only because I've given him a chance that I'm not scared of him, but Zayn won't be to easy to get to know the guy. Especially if he's dating me.

"Zayn?" I ask, and he hums, turning to me to give me his full attention. I've always appreciated his ability to listen. "My boyfriend, Ryan, is on his way over, if that's alright? He wanted to meet you."

"Yeah, that's fine," Zayn nods. "I'm excited to see the guy you're obsessed with."

"I'm not obsessed," I scoff.

"You're always texting him. Don't act like I can't read you like a book by now."

The red tint on my cheeks has just managed to go down before it makes another appearance when the doorbell rings. I beat Zayn to the door, giving Ryan a quick kiss in greeting. He tries to pull me closer, but I back away, highly aware of the third presence in the room. I grab Ryan's hand, and we get settled in the living room. Zayn is eyeing Ryan as he walks past, probably surprised by his height.

"So Ryan, this is my brother, Zayn. Zayn, this is my boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, mate," Ryan says, shaking Zayn's hand. 

"You as well."

"So you're the famous step brother, huh?" Ryan asks. 

"Yeah, suppose so. Why, does Louis talk about me a lot?" Zayn teases, and I roll my eyes.

"Please," I say. "I actually try to avoid your name in just about every conversation."

"I guess it's mandatory that I get to know you, since you're dating my little brother. How'd you two meet?"

"We-" I start. It's no surprise Ryan cuts me off with a quick cover story as apposed to hanging around high school as an adult offering me drugs.

"Just ran into each other," he chuckles, resting his hand on my knee. "I asked for his number before I lost the chance, you know? Nothing too interesting."

"Right. So did you know at the time that my brother is in high school?" Zayn asks, a bite in his tone. I shoot him a warning look, but when Ryan laughs and looks at me, I laugh back to him.

"Yeah, but he's eighteen," Ryan says. "I think he's old enough to make decisions for himself. Especially since he's left to practically raise himself."

"How 'bout a movie?" I suggest over the awkward jabs they're throwing at each other. They agree easily, and we get situated. It's an action movie that I don't have too much interest in, compared to Zayn and Ryan. 

Ryan's quite handy, which is awkward when we're in the same room as my brother. He's constantly moving his hand up my thigh, or kissing a little to close to my neck, or playing with the lining of my underwear. I constantly pick up his hand a hold it in my own, and he just shoots me offended looks. I guess it's irritated looks, but from the weary ones Zayn is sending my way the entire movie, I know it's probably best.

I've always hated uncomfortable situations like this, but this has to be one of the most awkward moments in my life. Ryan asks if he can spend the night with me in my room, and I blush knowing that Zayn isn't an idiot, and he knows what Ryan is planning on doing.

"I think I'm too tired tonight, sorry Rye," I smile apologetically. I give him a quick peck on the cheek, walking him to the door and closing it behind him.

"That was...interesting," Zayn tries to make it sound less judgmental than it actually comes across.

"Ugh, shut up," I groan, banging my head on the door. "It was a disaster."

"Yeah, sort of," he chuckles. I sit down next to him, completely not excited for his questions. "What's with this guy, though? He's like even taller than me, and fucking massive. And 24 years old, are you kidding me?"

"You didn't care when I first told you," I defend. "You're only judging him because of how he looks!"

"And the way he was trying to fuck you right in front of me!" Zayn says back, and my cheeks go red.

"Gross."

"It was grosser for me, trust me on that. And the guy wreaked of cigarettes. You're not smoking with him are you?"

"What? No, and I don't understand why you see that as such a red flag. You smoke too, remember?"

"Yeah, but not around you."

"This is why I didn't want you to meet him! He's right, I'm mature enough to make my own decisions. It's not like you're gonna stick around for long enough to make sure I'm alright anyways!"

"Louis," he sighs. "I'm sorry for being so judgmental, but you have to understand that you're my little brother."

"Can we just drop it, please?" I ask.

"Yeah, that's fine. Have you talked to Harry at all?"

"Still no," I roll my eyes. I hear this question far too often.

"I think it would be good for you. And him, actually. You can't hold a grudge after the way you guys were so close before he left." Zayn's voice is soft, and I can tell he's trying to be sensitive about it. I mean, it's a sensitive topic for me.

"Jesus, let's ease off the heavy topics," I laugh. He chuckles, nodding. We don't mention the elephant in the room again, but it's in the back of both of our minds. Fuck you, Harry.

~~

A bit of drama, not too much this chapter!

It's a little short, but I'm gonna try and speed the chapters up so we can get to the real trouble ;)

What are your thoughts now?