I'll be forever the outcast

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Felix's POV

All I wanted to do was just rid myself from this world, nothing was working out and I am all by myself. I wanted to not go to work anymore because I would see him, but I had already taken enough time off of work, so I didn't dare put in for another leave.

I avoided him at all costs, and I did my best to keep myself occupied and busy, everyone welcomed be back happily and all my students and groups were more than happy to have me back. I'd be lying if I said I didn't notice the small stares here and there or some of the whispering god it was like the Academy all over again.

I tried my best to tune everything out and just kept to myself, I would teach my dance lessons and then I would help choreograph for the groups. Other than that, I spent most of my time in the dance studio practicing my own stuff and gearing up for a performance that was supposed to be shown for when the new CEO arrives.

Ever since that day being at home was lonely and calming at the same time, he didn't dare come home when I was home, and he knew better than to even look at me or talk to me at work. He didn't even try to fucking apologize to me.

When I called Minho and basically cried my heart out to him, I knew he was just as pissed off as I was, I mean how did it come to this?


Today was my day off and I spent most of it in the basement studio either practicing my dance or hell even working on my vocals. I decided to record myself dancing and I wore a face mask that way I could upload my video to Insta, it had been a while since I've been on there and I thought this would be a nice change instead of my audio clips.

I felt like my Insta was my place to be somewhat free and be myself, I still had no intentions of revealing who I actually was, and I disabled my comments on mostly everything. It's kind of like a journal in a way I guess expressing my feelings and what not and it felt nice.

I was in my own world when I looked up into the mirror where I was dancing, and he was standing there behind me. "I tried knocking but I got no answer, and I realized I still had a key. I didn't know you were going to be home otherwise I wouldn't have come." Jisung said.

I turned around and just stared at him I had nothing left to say to him. "What do you want?" I asked coldly. "I just was getting some of my clothes, and then I saw you and wanted to talk to you." Jisung replied. "I have nothing to say to you." "Can't you just hear me out?" "Hear you out? Are you fucking dumb, I never in my life had felt so betrayed. I thought I hated my uncle for dropping me off at the Academy like I was some piece of trash that meant nothing to him. But you took the cake, I knew my uncle didn't care for me, so I wasn't as bothered by it, but you hurt me on so many levels."

We stood there starring at each other which felt like forever, and I just wanted to disappear and never come back. I've never felt more anger than I do now when I look at him, and I don't think I can ever forgive him.

"Lix come on, just let me explain." Jisung pleaded. "Get the fuck out." I growled.

He hesitated briefly before turning around and walking back up the stairs, as I watched him go, I sunk to the ground pulling my knees to my chest and I just let the tears flow.

Does no one want me?

Am I only good for my body? Everyone enjoys using me for sex. Whether it be consensual or rape.

Will I be considered the outcast for the rest of my life?

So many thoughts ran through my mind, and I tried my best to push them back down, I couldn't think this way I kept telling myself.

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