Now With U (Living In The Past - Book 2) (WheeByul)

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

SURPRISE!!!!!! 

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Byul woke up the next morning to a loud high-pitched sound. She groaned when she felt her tense muscles and slightly throbbing head.

She then heard voices of people arguing and frowned - still not conscious enough to realize what was going on.

Turning on her back, she stretched and blinked a few times before deciding to go see for herself.

"BUT I WANT STAR!"

The tantrum was the first thing she heard when she drowsily opened the bedroom door. She furrowed her brows since she had never seen or heard Ha-eun behaving like that.

"What is going on?"

The little girl turned her head when she heard Byul's voice then ran towards her, ramming into the young woman's legs and sending her teetering to the side for a second before she steadied herself.

Byul heard Ha-eun sniffing and sobbing against her pajama pants. "Wha-... Why are you crying?"

"She insisted on waking you up so you could take her to school but I wanted to let you sleep in," explained an exhausted looking WheeIn from the living room. She then shook her head and went into the kitchen.

"Oh." Byul gently pried the girl's hands from around her thighs and tilted the wet face. "Ha-eun-ah, you should listen to Whee."

"But you're here. Why can't you take me to school?"

She wiped the tear-streaked cheeks, unable to stop herself from feeling flattered to be wanted. "I can now but I was sleeping. Whee didn't want you to wake me up because she wanted me to rest. I'm tired, Ha-eun-ah. I had to take a train from a far away city yesterday, remember?"

"You won't have time to eat breakfast if you insist on taking her to school," mumbled WheeIn as she set Ha-eun's backpack on the couch and walked past the two, going inside the bedroom.

Byul winced when the door closed behind her. WheeIn didn't slam it but it wasn't exactly closed in a gentle way either.

Ha-eun seemed to begin to feel guilty as her hold on Byul loosened. She looked up at Byul with scared round eyes, making the latter smile in spite of the current situation.

"I think Whee's upset." She squatted down to the girl's eye level. "Look, Ha-eun-ah. There will be times when I can't do what you want me to do. During those times, someone else, Whee most likely, will have to take my place and help you. It doesn't mean that I don't care about you and it also doesn't mean that you can ignore or reject that person. Do you understand?"

The girl quietly looked away, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"I think you hurt Whee's feelings. She might think that you like me more than you like her."

Ha-eun instantly lifted her head. "B-but I like Whee too! I just... you weren't here yesterday so today I w-want... I-I..."

Byul had to laugh when the girl suddenly started crying again for no apparent reason.

She hugged her and lifted her. "Why are you crying now?" she asked, stroking the girl's back to calm her down.

The only response she got was gulping and sobbing.

"Ha-eun-ah, stop crying. Why are you crying?" She knew it was probably the guilt so when the girl didn't stop wetting her t-shirt with her tears, she slowly stepped back and freed one hand to open the bedroom door.

WheeIn had just finished changing when the door opened. She saw and heard the crying from the girl in Byul's arms. "What now?"

"I think someone's feeling guilty," said Byul as she approached WheeIn and turned around so that WheeIn could see the girl's face.

"Ha-eun-ah, stop crying. You have your Star. Why are you still crying?" WheeIn asked.

The girl lifted her head slightly, hiccupping. She wanted to say something but hesitated, then put her fingers in her mouth instead.

"Don't." WheeIn reached out by reflex, pulling the hand out of the mouth. "It's dirty."

"Go on. Say sorry," urged Byul.

"S-so-sorry..." said the girl, choking on what remained of her tears.

"Tell her why you're sorry."

"I-I..." Ha-eun tried to inhale but her nose was blocked thanks to all the crying.

WheeIn grabbed a tissue, wiped the girl's face and cleaned her nose. She did all that without saying a word or cracking a smile.

The girl felt guiltier thanks to the gesture. "I-I... I don't like Star more than you."

Byul had to smile when she heard the cute confession. She moved to set Ha-eun down then gave her a gentle push towards WheeIn. "Hurry or you'll be late for school." She then left the two to go take a very quick shower.

"I just... because Star wasn't here yesterday, I thought... I wanted..." Ha-eun twisted her shirt again. "I'm sorry, Whee. I like you too."

WheeIn raised her eyebrows, finding this very cute in spite of her frustration after the little argument just a few minutes ago.

When she didn't get a reaction, Ha-eun started to tear up again, thinking that WheeIn was really angry and didn't like her anymore.

WheeIn saw the trembling curving lips and quickly scooped the girl up in her arms. They didn't have time for another round of crying. "Hey." She had to smile when the girl clung to her urgently. "Apology accepted." She warmly squeezed the small body. "And I know that you like me. I would never think otherwise. Okay? I love you." She was a bit surprised herself when she said that, not really expecting it to come out of her mouth, but reasoned that it was alright to tell the girl, to let her know that she was loved. Besides, with Ji Soo on the loose, she was secretly worried that something might happen to any of them so it would be better to say things now - while they still had the chance.

She could feel the four year old tensing after that. "What's wrong? Is there something wrong?"

WheeIn tried to get the girl to look at her. "Hey, Ha-eun-ah. What is it?"

The expression on Ha-eun's face made WheeIn smile. It was somewhere between shock and happiness with a hint of the remaining guilt from before. She couldn't help but think how adorable it looked as she kissed the damp cheek.

"Lo-ve?" asked Ha-eun meekly, still looking at WheeIn as if she was an alien.

"Yes."

"You love me?" She pointed at herself in disbelief.

"Yes, I do."

"Like you love Star?" She had heard that word being quickly said between the two adults a couple of times before.

WheeIn laughed. "Yes. I love both of you."

"Aw... so you two have made up?"

They turned their heads to see Byul walking inside the room with a towel on her shoulder and messy damp hair.

"That's record breaking fast," commented WheeIn.

"Don't want Ha-eun to be late for school," replied Byul as she threw the wet towel on the bed. "Now kindly get out so I can change and we can get going." She moved to open the wardrobe.

WheeIn carried Ha-eun out of the room, closed the door behind her and set the girl down. "Get your bag and put on your shoes. Looks like you'll be getting your wish after all." She fixed Ha-eun's hair then went to the kitchen to quickly grab something for Byul to eat.

She was contemplating on warming up some leftover kimbap when her leg hit something. Turning around, she quickly apologized to the girl whose foot she almost stepped on. "Sorry. Be careful, Ha-eun-ah."

"Appa said that."

"Huh?" WheeIn closed the fridge, forgetting about Byul's breakfast thanks to the confused looking girl. "Said what?"

"Love. He said love too."

"Oh. You mean he told you he loved you?"

Ha-eun nodded. Her eyes became sad as she looked down at her feet. "But Grandma never did."

WheeIn held back a sigh and gave the girl a quick hug. "Even though she didn't say it, doesn't mean she didn't love you. You're a good girl. Of course she loves you."

"I'm not a good girl," mumbled Ha-eun.

"What?" WheeIn squatted down, frowning. She began to suspect that there was something more behind Ha-eun's behavior this morning. "Why did you say that?"

"Because you were angry."

"Well, I was a little angry. But you've apologized and I have accepted your apology so it's okay now. You're a good girl, Ha-eun-ah." She gently rubbed the girl's arm.

"Then why..."

WheeIn waited but Ha-eun stopped talking more so she inched closer, taking hold of the small hands. "Why what?"

"Why did Appa leave? And now Grandma too. A-and Star almost..."

WheeIn saw tears again and sighed, feeling her heart break a little as she pulled Ha-eun into her arms. "Your father didn't leave because of you. He had to go because he had work to do. And your Grandma is still here. She's just... she needed to get a lot of rest." She didn't know what else to say about the woman but now she understood why Ha-eun insisted on having Byul take her to school.

"Star had to leave for a few days because she also had to work. Not because of you. And she came back, didn't she?"

"..."

"I told you not to wake her up because she was tired, Ha-eun-ah. I wanted her to sleep for a bit longer. But she didn't need to rest as much as your grandmother so we won't send you away or leave you. We will never do that. Understand?"

Ha-eun nodded slowly. "I'm sorry I woke her up," she mumbled into WheeIn's shoulder.

"It's okay." She stroked the girl's hair.

"And I'm sorry I made you angry."

"It's okay, Ha-eun-ah."

Right at that moment, Byul walked out of the room and strolled into the kitchen to see WheeIn hugging the girl. "What now?" she asked.

"She's just still feeling bad," said WheeIn. She then mouthed, "Later."

Byul raised her eyebrows and mouthed back, "What's wrong?"

WheeIn slightly shook her head then released her hold on the girl. "Go put your shoes on so we can get going." She smiled then patted the girl's cheek gently before letting her walk solemnly out of the kitchen.

"What happened to her?" asked Byul in a low voice when Ha-eun was out of earshot.

"I think she threw that tantrum because she thought you'd send her away or leave like her father and grandmother did," mumbled WheeIn.

"What?" Byul hissed, keeping her voice down. "Why did she think that?"

"She has abandonment issues, I think. Which I don't find strange at all." WheeIn exhaled. "She thinks everyone will leave her."

"Poor kid," said Byul, turning her head to look at the little girl sitting on the floor near the foyer, struggling to put her shoes on.

"Yeah. I told her I loved her and she was really shocked."

"You told her what?" Byul's head snapped back instantly.

"It kinda slipped out. She was being so adorable and she thought that I thought that she disliked me so I had to set her straight."

"That's one complicated sentence," replied Byul with a chuckle. "How did she react to it?" Deep down she was happy to hear WheeIn expressing herself to the girl she had also started to love dearly.

"She was quite shocked. Oh and she asked whether I love her like I love you."

"And what did you say to that?"

"I just told her yes, I do love both of you."

Byul smiled then gave WheeIn a quick peck on the cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving us both. I know that we didn't exactly plan this and that it's only been two years but-..."

"But I don't mind at all." WheeIn finished Byul's sentence. "She's a good kid and she deserves more than she's had so far."

Byul reached out, wrapping her arms around WheeIn's waist to pull her close and give her a kiss. She then felt WheeIn immediately pushing her back.

"No. Not while you still have a lot of explaining to do for that thing with my father. Come on, Ha-eun's really going to be late at this rate."

Byul could only smile as she watched WheeIn approach Ha-eun to fix her shoes and uniform. She knew that WheeIn wasn't that angry with her anymore in spite of what she just said. But her happiness didn't last long, as her thoughts drifted back to Ji Soo and the attack on her teammates.

I will never let him take either of you away from me.

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Byul straightened up after giving the girl in uniform a peck on the cheek. She then waited until Ha-eun had gone inside the building before she held WheeIn's hand and started walking away slowly - eyes still on the now closed door.

"She'll be okay. She won't leave school with anyone but us," assured WheeIn, knowing what Byul was thinking.

"I'm not letting either of you out of my sight."

"Don't be so worried."

Byul turned her head. "How can I not be worried? You almost got run over by a car! You know I can't have anything happen to you. I'd literally go insane!"

"Hey hey... don't talk like that," WheeIn lowered her voice while trying to make Byul do the same. "I get it. Okay. I'll stick to you like glue."

"Someone once told me that I'm a cute glue," Byul randomly replied as the word triggered a memory.

WheeIn had to chuckle at that. "That someone must not have been in her right mind that day. Because cute glue should be acting cute, not hiding important things or sneaking around."

Byul stopped in her tracks. "Okay. I have apologized last night. Why do you have to keep bringing it up?"

"Because you haven't explained to me why you did it." WheeIn let go of Byul's hands then crossed her arms.

"Right." Byul took a deep breath then resumed walking. "Let's talk about this somewhere else. I'll tell Yong that we'll be a bit late today." She took out her phone, typed a quick message to Solar and then unlocked the car door.

They drove to a small café that was open for breakfast since Byul was also feeling hungry.

As they waited for their food, Byul leaned forward in her seat, placing her hands on the table. "Look," she began. "I'm sorry for not telling you about that lunch with your father but I feel bad for the man, okay? All he wanted was to spend some time with his daughter."

"I know that but that's beside the point. Why did you meet him without telling me?"

"Because I thought you'd forbid me from it."

"And if I did, you would've gone anyway, wouldn't you?" WheeIn shook her head. "Can't you just leave this be? Let me handle it?"

"How can I? He keeps calling and begging, and you won't even say two words to him. And like I said, I feel bad for him. He wants to make amends, Whee."

"What is it to you? It's between me and him. This has nothing to do with us."

"It has a lot to do with us!"

"Why?"

"Family is family, Whee. You can't start a new one while harboring hate towards your own. And like it or not..." Byul reached out, her palm open. "We're about to have one of our own." She smiled.

WheeIn's eyes widened and, as her heart fluttered after hearing that fact being said out loud for the first time, she couldn't help but blush under Byul's gaze.

"I know it's not exactly our choice but I don't mind. Ha-eun's a good kid."

WheeIn saw Byul's fingers moving, beckoning her to hold her hand but she hesitated. "Then why can't we just do it without having to fuss over my father and me?"

Byul exhaled then withdrew her hand, unable to stop herself from feeling slightly disappointed by WheeIn's reaction. "I told you, it's not healthy to start a new family when you're holding grudges towards your own; when things aren't okay."

"Not everybody is lucky enough to have a happy, harmonious family, Byul. You know my family's past. It has never been healthy in the first place yet I don't see how it could damage my present. I'm not them. I won't repeat their mistakes. You've seen me with Ha-eun. Am I a bad example or a bad future parent to her?"

"No!"

"Then why couldn't you just accept it?"

"I do accept it. I understand your situation but your father's here, now, feeling sincerely sorry for what he'd done. Can't you at least forgive him? Talk to him? I'm not asking you to be all TV-family-happy with him just... try to rebuild that bridge."

"Sincerely sorry?" WheeIn scoffed. "How do you even know that?"

"Well, unlike you, I actually talked to him."

WheeIn was about to retort but the arrival of the waiter with their food made her hold her tongue. Yet it didn't stop her from glaring at Byul, blatantly conveying her displeasure at Byul's tone and words.

"I've known him for a lifetime," she said through gritted teeth when the young man had left. "He's not one to change drastically. He never was. Yes, he tried a couple of times but he always ended up the same man, the selfish man who cost me everything. You don't know him so don't talk like you do just because you happened to have had one lunch with him."

She then started cutting her food roughly, her nostrils flaring in anger and eyes never looking at Byul again.

Byul realized that there was truth in what WheeIn had said. In spite of the sincerity she knew she had seen in him, she really didn't know him that well. But she refused to give up on the matter. "Maybe he has changed for real this time. Permanently."

"..."

"Come on, Whee. Give him a chance. At least for my sake. Please?"

That made WheeIn lift her head. "For your sake?"

"Yes. I want a happy family, without hate. And he's family, Whee."

"Wha-... our family won't have anything to do with him!"

"It doesn't work that way for as long as he's alive and as long as you're his flesh and blood."

"But he won't even be in Korea for long! He won't be part of our lives, Byul-yah. I don't understand this." WheeIn frowned, letting go of the utensils to take hold of the napkin and wipe her mouth.

Byul heaved a sigh. "I have a little dream," she said, deciding to come clean. "When I have a family of my own, I want it to be big and loud. Not big as in with many kids but big as in family gathering big. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, family friends..."

"So? We can still have that. We have enough family friends and there's your parents and siblings too."

"I know but I want to grow old together with someone I love and watch our kids grow up in a loving family. It doesn't have to be perfect because no family is perfect, but I want it to be long lasting and complete. Like how my parents did it... or Yong's," she said the last part very carefully.

That was when WheeIn knew where that little dream originated. She placed the napkin on the table and kept her eyes on it. "I see." And just when I thought that he was no longer part of the equation...

"Don't take this the wrong way? It's not because of Oppa. It's really not." Byul reached out, covering WheeIn's hand with her own when she saw the darkening expression.

"..."

"Whee, please say something."

"I'm sorry I'm not him."

"Hey... what?! Don't say that. I-..."

"I'm sorry my family's not like his." She pulled her hand and pushed her chair back. "I need to go to the toilet."

Byul sighed. She called a waiter, told him not to clear the table yet and followed WheeIn into the ladies room.

WheeIn was about to close the stall door when it was pushed open, startling her and forcing her to take a few steps back.

"Whee..." Byul saw the tears in WheeIn's eyes and felt very guilty. She quickly closed the door behind her and hugged WheeIn. "I didn't mean it that way."

WheeIn didn't move. She just stood there awkwardly in Byul's arms.

When she felt WheeIn tensing with no further reaction, Byul loosened her hold to look at her. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it that way. It's just-..."

"It's just something you two had always wanted, isn't it?"

"No!"

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying! Yes, we talked about it but it's something I sincerely want with whomever I end up with. With the person I love." Byul gently kissed WheeIn's lips. "With you."

"And you think hiding things from me or sneaking behind my back will help you get it? You did all that for this?"

"I thought it would help patch things up between you and your father!"

"I'm sorry to say this but you're selfish."

"Wh-what?" Byul's arms dropped from around WheeIn as she took a step back.

"You're selfish. You did what you did not really because you want me to fix things with him but you did it mainly because of that dream of yours. That dream you and him had." WheeIn felt the pain after saying that and did everything she could to stop another batch of tears from flowing down her face.

"Wha-... I did not!"

"You did. Because if you were really just looking out for me, you'd let me handle it on my own; in my own time and at my own pace. Not like this."

Byul didn't know what to say. She didn't like what WheeIn had just said but there was a small voice inside that told her that WheeIn was right. She was nosy because she was selfish.

"I'm not a heartless ice queen, Byul-yi. If my father really persists, if he really changes this time, don't you think I'd give him a chance sooner or later? We did have good times together. Very short but memorable nonetheless. It was the only time I really felt like I had a normal family, with a father and a mother who cared," WheeIn said through trembling lips. "But I want him to prove himself first and I don't trust him to know anything about us until then. Your lack of faith in me hurts. It really hurts." She clenched her jaws and fists, fighting the tears.

"I-I... I thought you were really angry at him, that you resented him."

"I am angry at him and I do resent him. I'm bitter, I know that. But it's not like I wish him dead or anything. Heck, you're not the only one who wants a nice loving family. If anything, I should be the one who wants it more. And not just for myself but for Ha-eun. It'd be nice if she could have a male figure she could look up to, a caring grandfather, and not grow up like I did."

WheeIn finally lost the fight and her tears started to spill out uncontrollably.

Everything was a mess. She was angry at her father and at Byul. She was disappointed, sad, hurt and felt slightly regretful for not being able to trust the man or forgive him easily.

Byul felt guiltier than ever. Her arms reached out, immediately wrapping themselves around WheeIn. "I'm sorry," she whispered and kissed WheeIn's temple. "I should've had more faith in you. I'm sorry." She kept apologizing while gently soothing WheeIn.

After WheeIn had calmed down, Byul gently let go and grabbed some clean tissues to dab the tear-streaked face. "I'm sorry, Whee. You're right. I'm selfish and I'm sorry for what I did but it's really not because of him. I love you. I want to have a family with you."

It warmed WheeIn's heart to hear those words but she was still sniffing so she didn't say anything.

"I promise to tell you everything he says from now on, if he calls or texts me. And I promise to never hide anything from you again." Byul wiped the last remaining wetness then tenderly stroked WheeIn's cheek with her thumb. "I love you and I don't want to lose you."

"Then please have more faith in me. That's all I'm asking from you."

"I will." Byul leaned forward and kissed WheeIn. I will. I'm sorry, Whee.

WheeIn finally kissed back and Byul let out a breath of relief as she pulled her closer, missing her warmth.

"Thanks for not kicking me out last night," Byul said after the kiss as she leaned her forehead on WheeIn's. "I know how furious you must have been."

"I know you meant well, it's just..."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Like I told you last night, I love you no matter how annoyed I am with what you've done," replied WheeIn. "And I also want to apologize for not telling you all this earlier." She moved her head back, creating some space between them so she could look Byul in the eyes. "I know that you deserve better and that he was probably better-..."

"Don't say that!" Byul quickly interjected. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve you and he's not part of any of this."

"He is. Unfortunately, he'll always be a part of you and thus, us. I don't really mind though. It hurts a bit, honestly, but I think we've gone past that-..."

"Yes, we have gone past that so stop bringing him up. I want this to be about you and me, and Ha-eun too now. I was wrong, I admit that. It was just a minor relapse; probably the stupid nostalgia, that's all. I'm sorry. Don't let it interfere with us. Please?"

"Thanks but I'm still going to apologize for my behavior towards my father and for how he and I are. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want or help fulfill your little dream."

"I don't want any of that without you or Ha-eun so stop talking like this. Forget about what I said. I was wrong," Byul repeated herself. "I can still have that dream with you. I will have that happy complete family with you and Ha-eun regardless of what your father would do or say. Got it?"

WheeIn wished it were that simple. She knew that letting go of something you'd wanted all your life wasn't and would never be that simple.

"Did you hear me?" asked Byul when WheeIn didn't seem to budge.

"I heard you."

"Good. I mean it, Whee." Byul kissed WheeIn again, firmly capturing the latter's lips to show her determination and seriousness on the matter. I'm sorry.

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Is this good for you..... This is for all the late updates I've done.... hehehe... but really I was excited to post two chapters this week that is why was not able to update yesterday since this is to be a one chapter with the first one... So I've decided to make it into two chapters anyway...

Hope you enjoy this... I've cried while doing and proof reading this chapters.... huhuhu... Those tears I've shed are all good thanks to this chapter since I was satisfied after....

Don't forget to vote everyone....