I Am The One Who Knocks

Wife's Perspective

When I was a little girl, my mom and I used to live with my grandma for the whole summer. My mom used to overwork and save, so we could fly to my grandma's house. See before I was born, My mom had moved to California hoping to marry her love at the time. My mom would never tell me his name, she says that he was never good to her and used to show her what love blinds. My mom is very intelligent, yet quite naive. She chooses to ignore the bad in people in hopes of fixing it or having them show their promise of changing into a better individual. My grandma has always told my mom she is too good for such a bitter cruel world. My husband and I decided for my 26th birthday we would move to a new house and have a baby, starting a family. The house we have moved into used to be my grandma's house, I know this house from the bottom of my heart. Unfortunately, someone else had owned it for about 2 years. My grandma was sent to a Psych ward in 1988. My grandma was 15 when she had my mum. My mom was born in 1965, and had me in 1970 currently in time it is 1996. My mom was 28 when my grandma was sent away, and 17 when she had me. Although at times she's allowed to visit family.  Everyone thought Grandma was crazy She used to see things in her home, she would say she would get disturbing knock knock jokes in letters in her mail box, she said this for a year so no one wanted her over anymore. My grandpa was too old for all the stress and so he sent her away, he went to a retirement home. No one believed her, she keeps the notes in her file cabinet incase someone one day starts to believe her "stories." 

"honey, dessert is ready" my grandma shouts from the kitchen. 

"coming," I shout from the toy room. I love my grandma's toys they're all so pretty. The old Ann doll was my great great grandma had gave to her. 

"look who it is, the birthday girl!" my mom says pinching my cheek "your getting old." she laughs putting the number "5" on my cake. 

"not even that old" I mumble. No one can really understand what i say, i have a huge pronunciation disorder.  I pronounce my T's as D's, I have a hard time spelling. mom says it's never too late to learn and fix my English. 

"come on, we got to hurry to eat this cake so we can open your presents" my mom says putting slices of red velvet cake out to my family. 

We got to presents, there weren't too many, my family has never been so good with their money. Yes we had lots of money but my dad likes to go out in bars, casinos and pool halls betting all 'his' money.

as a kid my mom told me not to worry too much about my dad, he was never home, he never cared for me as a person, he often took money I had made for myself, or had saved from people that have given it to me, despite the fact I hid it as much as possible. My dad would flip my room around just to find my money box, bag or anything for that matter. I used to change what it was in every time hoping that he wouldn't find it. He's desperate enough he doesn't stop looking. He was raised he didn't need to earn money, he could take whatever he wanted and wouldn't be punished for it. Although my dad's side of the family has next to no money, they've suffered being homeless before my dad was born, they were homeless for years. They finally got off the street and then had my money hungry father. He was never a good kid either, he stole from his friends he stole from the schools he went to. He eventually got himself kicked out cuz' he stabbed a guy for not giving him lunch money, how did he get the knife? no one really understands where, but he's unreadable so it could have been stolen, bought, borrowed, given as a gift, we are clueless. 

"Honey look grandma got you some socks!" my mum laughs and holds them up

"Ew, grandma I don't want socks" I whine 

"Madilyn, quit bein' ungrateful." my mum says letting her accent out. She only lets it out when she's beginning to become angry, and or upset. 

"Come on lets not get upset or angry at the birthday girl." Grandma says pulling out another gift she got me.

"Another one!!!" I shout grabbing the gift from her, I throw the wrapping in the bag everywhere. My mum collecting it as I throw it on the floorspace around me. "woah its a doll!" i shout hugging it. 

"Did you read her name dear?" grandma says showing me he tag on the back of her shirt. 

"Ann" I pause "her name is Ann grandma!"  I say laughing and running around the house.

"The great old Ann doll huh mom?" my mom says her accent flashing through again, "Couldn't have gotten her something more around her generation?" my mom rolls her eyes grabs a pack of cigarettes' and opens the screen door putting a smoke in her mouth. Mum always left the big front and back door open, she closed the screen door instead of the bigger doors, she says its more work when she just wants a smoke or two. 

"Is mummy mad at me?" I ask looking up at grandma,

"No hun, mummy is having a rough day," She says kissing my head and smiling. "Let's not worry about mama and lets play with some new toys, yes?" grandma says pointing at the new stack of toys she collected from presents. Grandma was always so nice, no one could understand why my mom was always so grumpy and rude. Maybe cuz' dad left using our money, and she's mad at her own choices but we don't know.